While I completely understand that want him to open up to you and express his feelings, that's not the guy that you have. You need to recognize this and understand this. This has been going on for two years so he's pretty consistent. You need to decide what you are willing to deal with and accept.
Thing is, your feelings are hurt, but it's not about you at all here. Your boyfriend probably closes up with everybody and I know you want to feel special enough for him to want to open up to you, but that's not very fair to place your issues with that on him either. Granted, for your relationship to work, he's going to have to be open about some things and shutting down is not the way to maintain a relationship with any woman (trust me, I know), but you're assuming something about how he feels about you since he won't open up to you.
That's just not the case. You said he's dealt with depression. None of this is about you. All you can do is try to be supportive of him and help him deal with it and let him come to you or decide you can't deal with it and roll out. It is difficult when you're with somebody and they just won't open up to you. I know, I've been that dude that wouldn't open up and it's caused me issues aplenty. But it also wasn't always about the woman, sometimes its just how I cope with things. Granted, I've never been depressed, I'm just an inward person when it comes to feelings, emotions, and all that squishy %$&*.
So, like I said, I think you just need to let him know that if he needs to come to you, he can, and try to be supportive of him in any way you can that doesn't make it about you and not him. You said he comes home with the bad day right? So why are you taking his emotions and turning it back ont yourself. The hardest part of being in a relationship is letting other people suffer, I know, but you can't help those that won't help themselves.
Then at some point, if he never does, you have to decide for yourself what you want to deal with,and go from there.
It was written.
I've been with a man like this, and I'm not quite the most talkative person myself either. The best thing you can do to work towards this is to never ask him to talk to you about it. Be there when he needs to you to be, give him space when he needs it, and listen VERY CLOSELY when he does talk about his thoughts or feelings. Even if they're not particularly deep thoughts or feelings, they're still his and they mean something to him. Don't judge the way he deals with things, he knows that this has to be painful for you to watch, and do let him know how much you love seeing his smiling face, or how happy hearing his laugh makes you. Don't pry, just be there in the ways that you can be, and don't take for granted the things he does expose to you. In time he may grow to tell you more things, he'll have to see that you appreciate the intimacy he already shares with you though.
I promise there are probably already things that only you share with him, and things he can only share with you, don't take these for granted. They might be very small, but they're crucial. Stick with it if you can, and just love him, this behavior doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He probably loves you very much, emotions can just be hard to show sometimes. Good luck!
I feel like all guys do this. Individually it's just a matter of degree.
I do think that the best option is to respect his wish to be left alone. I really, really don't think he means anything personal. You'll be fine.
Excellent answer. My guy is like this. Sometime you just have to get over yourself and give the guy what he needs, which is quiet time.
I'm like that too, and I'm a girl. I have no trouble venting anger, but when I'm just sad, I need to be alone. I don't like talking about it. It has nothing to do with the person I'm with, it's just who I am as a person.
& I think you just have to accept your boyfriend for who he is and for how he deals with things. If you follow AnonyMiss' advice above, you can probably, as time passes, get him to open up a bit more, but I can guarantee he'll never be an open-book. I know you'd like to feel as if you're helping him more, but giving him the space he needs IS helping him.
The fact that he has divulged to you that he deals with depression, is testimony to that he does trust you. Give him his space but support as well. Every one handles emotions different and it is not a reflection on how he feels about you. I personally have depression and handle it by seeing a therapist. And in my moods, I do need to be alone to process things but then afterwards can talk it out with my boyfriend.
Find someone else - someone cheery and normal.
Find someone else - someone cheery and supportive - and let your miserable ex-boyfriend have all the time in the world to be alone with his 'thoughts' ...believe me these types give nothing back, the selfish, self-absorbed inconsiderate insulting misery is a set pattern in them for life.