At the risk of stating the obvious, your boyfriend has a drinking problem. His boozing is clearly the cause of all the other crap that follows--the anger, the verbal and physical abuse (although you're the one doing the physical abuse and you need to stop).
I don't know if he acts like this when he's not drinking, but it doesn't matter. As you describe it, the problems begin when he's drunk--it's the first thing you mention in your question. Not that booze is the only problem here--you guys have some serious dysfunction going on--but it's the match that lights the dynamite fuse.
You prevent these scenarios by getting him to lay off the sauce, first of all, then assessing your relationship without the haze of alcohol distorting your view. I will reiterate that booze isn't your only problem and things won't be magically, immediately wonderful if he cuts back on (or, better yet, stops) drinking. But that's square one.
If he can't or won't stop drinking so much, I strongly recommend that you consider moving on. You're already physical with each other when you drunk-fight, and violence has a way of escalating quickly when booze is involved. I would hate for either of you to get hurt.
Thanks for the question.
…& stop hitting him. No one can push you to the point of putting your hands on them, no matter what they say. You should never, ever, ever touch another person in anger. Shame on you!
Cary's right....
I was in a similar situation with my most recent ex. 60% of the time we got drunk together we ended up fighting. Our drunk fights were never physical though, until the very last one we had before we broke up. He was yelling very mean things and I went to put my hand over his mouth. Being drunk I did it a little too hard and ended up pushing him. He got madder and pushed me back. I got madder and threw his phone against the wall....
Anyway, now that I've had time to reflect on the relationship I realize that our drunk fights stem from issues we were having in our relationship even when we were sober. Drinking made it easier for us to express our feelings about problems, but it also blew everything out of proportion. In the end, poor communication was our pitfall, not drinking. Cary's right in saying that not drinking is not going to fix everything in your relationship.
Take some time to talk to him about it sober and see what he thinks and where you guys stand. Reevaluate the relationship for the cause of your fights instead of blaming it all on booze.
Good luck
oh boy, how did you fit all of those problems into that little box for questions. tape cary's answer to your fridge, mirror, bedroom wall, wherever you need to until it starts working. hands are for helping, not for hurting.