You need to break up with him right now. You need to say, "I'm sorry, this isn't working out. See you never." Because now you have a messed up relationship built on lies. He's in love with a fake person and looking to cheat on you. You are deceiving him in a kind of very screwed up way. If it wasn't so totally wrong, I would say you were made for each other.
There is no way this relationship is going to move forward. Usually I'm an optimist, but there is no getting past, "I was pretending to be someone else on Facebook to see if you would cheat on me." That's like the plot of a bad Jennifer Aniston movie, not a real, lasting relationship. If you tell him you are the one writing him on Facebook, it's going to end very badly for both of you. Even though he was looking to cheat on you, confessing to being "Jen from Facebook," or whatever, just makes you look crazy. Just get out now. Tell him that you've grown apart. Consider yourself lucky that you discovered he is looking to cheat on you, and save yourself the pain of a long, drawn-out break-up. Just get your toothbrush, and bail.
But...I'm not letting you off the hook either. Don't ever do this again. There are many, many other ways to find out if he is cheating, or if he wants to cheat. There are plenty of signs to look out for. Posing as another girl online to try to test him should never be an option. If you're so suspicious that you find yourself even considering something like that, you should confront him with your feelings and ask him straight up if he's cheating.
Learn from this relationship, and move on. And maybe, uh, stay off Facebook for a while.
There is no way this relationship is going to move forward. Usually I'm an optimist, but there is no getting past, "I was pretending to be someone else on Facebook to see if you would cheat on me." That's like the plot of a bad Jennifer Aniston movie, not a real, lasting relationship. If you tell him you are the one writing him on Facebook, it's going to end very badly for both of you. Even though he was looking to cheat on you, confessing to being "Jen from Facebook," or whatever, just makes you look crazy. Just get out now. Tell him that you've grown apart. Consider yourself lucky that you discovered he is looking to cheat on you, and save yourself the pain of a long, drawn-out break-up. Just get your toothbrush, and bail.
But...I'm not letting you off the hook either. Don't ever do this again. There are many, many other ways to find out if he is cheating, or if he wants to cheat. There are plenty of signs to look out for. Posing as another girl online to try to test him should never be an option. If you're so suspicious that you find yourself even considering something like that, you should confront him with your feelings and ask him straight up if he's cheating.
Learn from this relationship, and move on. And maybe, uh, stay off Facebook for a while.
Trying hard not to be too judgmental.. but MY GOD! That is low. I used to be a snooper with an ex I had many many moons ago.. before there was facebook and it is a horrible disease that consumes you. Finally, I found a camera phone pic of him and 2 other girls. But the lesson is that I knew he was shady before the snooping.. and so did you, or else why would we be snooping in the first place? The snooper's goal is to find the hard evidence but now, 6 years later, I still have a mental image of 2 girls sharing bj duties on my ex bf... and you will never forget that your bf so easily fell for another girl. Ouch. Just think if you had dumped him when you first realized he wasn't trustworthy.. You'd already be over it.
Exactly. If you have so much doubt that you have to pose as someone else on Facebook to try to catch him, the relationship is already over. Get out before it comes to this, or at least confront him face to face and skip the "To Catch a Cheat" stuff.
"But...I'm not letting you off the hook either. Don't ever do this again."
lol I'm laughing at how much you sound like a scolding dad. I love it. Umm yeah, pretending to be someone else on FB is NOT the way to find out if their cheating/ or willing to cheat. Plus, let's say they want to, you have NO leg to stand on at all after that.
I think whether or not he was going to cheat or was planning on cheating...the fact is....you TEMPTED him and I'm sure you said the exact things that you knew would steal his heart. You can't expect him to be faithful to you when you suddenly disappeared and suddenly a random girl that knew the exact words to say appeared. Honestly, you would've done the same thing whether you were truly faithful to him or not. Maybe NOT cheat, but your heart would've gone astray...
ok seriously, posing as someone else and plotting and planning had to be a crapload of effort. Imagine the more greater things that could have been accomplished with all that effort. That is like serial killer style and absolutely creepy. yikes!
Wow just wow. I knew of some people who would check their bf/bf posted messages and such to see if anything was wrong but to MAKE UP a person and flirt with them... WTF is wrong with YOU?!?!? That's just one rung above getting INTO their emails and such and thats pretty damn low. Do what Nick says and get out of it NOW. Next time if you do start having trust issues with your guy TALK DON'T STALK!!! Talking about your insecurities or issues on full heartedly trusting people is a good thing to do.
I have major trust issues and I talked to my guy about it just so he'd know up front and now anything we talk about is easier because I have the ease of mind knowing that if I think something is going on we can talk about it and he lets me know the conditions of whatever is going on just so /I/ don't jump to conclusions and have him off cheating in some exotic plac with 50 other women XD I'm bad for letting my mind run wild on things like that and he knows this and that's part of why we talk out anything I don't like. I'm trusting him and our realtionship for being strong more and more and it's a wonderful thing.
Another thing is to see about finding out what this guy did with previous girlfriends and why he might have been that way. My guy almost cheated on his last serious girl (not me I'm the love of his life) because she was whiny about EVERYTHING and he openly told me this. If a guy is willing to let you know why he was tempted to cheat on any exes take the time and put it in your mind to not do those type of things ever. Plus it means he's good and honest enough to let you know about it, also shows he's possibly serious for you cause he could just keep such info to himself and let you sink or swim all alone without a clue.
Also how do we know this guy wasn't smart enough to know it was her doing that? Some people are twisted and will keep leading things on like that even when they know it's someone else they already know. I mean howelse can someone just randomly find you and say the right things to woo you into possibly cheating? It's a big mess no matter what you do best thing to do is be honest and discuss what you must and either start over (but there's going to be major issues of trust now) or get things together and leave eachother.
"TALK DON'T STALK!!!" Sounds like a slogan from a t-shirt.
wow....facebook is like...totally destroying relationships lol
Anyone recall the Jem / Jerrica and Rio drama on Jem the cartoon ? How Jerrica was dating Rio ,but he was also in love with Jem who was actually Jerrica. Home girl in this letter was wrong, but I am just saying no body got mad at Jem. This girl obviously has major trust and insecurity issues, she doesn't need us yelling at her she needs therapy.
Yes...but Jem didn't do it to see if Rio would cheat on her...she did it so she could be a big star and have a real life too. See all also Hannah Montana...
Wait a minute, is Jem a separate person from Jerrica? I thought Synergy just transformed Jerrica into Jem, like Bruce Wayne and Batman. And, yeah, Jem had to lie to Rio to maintain her secret identity and keep the Holograms in business. She can't help it if dopey Rio fell for her and Jerrica. Jem wasn't created just to trick Rio-- she also has to conquer the music biz and foil The Misfits' dastardly schemes.
And, yeah, I just straight-up referenced Synergy. Whatareyougonnadoaboutit???
If I remember right, Jerica was concerned that if she did tell Rio about her secret identity after having kept it a secret from him and nearly everyone else for reasons I don't quite recall, Rio would get angry and dump her. I think Christy Marx - pretty much the creator of "Jem", said that Rio had a troubled home life when he was young and that one result of it was that honesty was very important to him. Which is probably why Jerica was worried he would leave her if he ever found out she had been dishonest with him.
So yes, making your boyfriend believe that you're someone else is not a good idea, even when you actually have a good reason to do so. And checking to see if he might consider cheating on you does not count as a good reason.
Okay, so if you see your boyfriend posting things on a random girl's page-- is that a reason to confront him? In my case, I found my boyfriend (long distance relationship) posting romantic things on another girl's page-- including "My heart beats only for you". I'm in his friends list and we know pretty much the same people (despite the distance-- very long story) so when he added this girl, I was surprised and did a quick spy on her page. Then I saw THAT. Apparently he never met the girl but this really upset me-- he says there's nothing wrong with it because it was online flirting but to me this is a dealbreaker-- isn't it?!
All you can do is tell him straight up that you don't want him flirting like that. You have to tell him how it makes you feel, and if he's a keeper he'll understand and back off. If not, then don't compromise yourself. You don't like that, its a dealbreaker. So break it off and find somebody that respects your feelings.
It's like a modern-day version of the Pina Colada song.
For real though...technology is only complicating things ... But if a relationship is built on a strong foundation not even facebook can destroy it... :( I'm sorry your going through this....that must be so hurtful ..
What the fuck is wrong with you?!!!!!!!!!!!
We must not blame Facebook for this gross error. Facebook is like a superhero's power. You must decide whether to use it to do evil or to do good. This person did the former and ate poop - err, not literally, but proverbially.
Now, in the sage words of sir Cary McNeal, HTFU and discuss what's on your crayzay mind next time. eeesh.
Forreal, girl, you should've gotten one of your girlfriends to do it for you.
If you really want to keep him, arrange on Facebook to meet him somewhere and then when you show up -- see if he can realize it's you he really loves and see how it goes from there.
If you don't want to keep him, arrange on Facebook to meet him somewhere and then don't show up -- and tell him go to hell when he comes to you hoping to fill the void of his lost love.
If you really want to keep this relationship, get on Facebook and arrange to meet him somewhere. Then when you show up, see if he can realize it's really you he loves and decide what to do from there.
If you don't want to keep this relationship, get on Facebood and arrange to meet him somewhere. Then after you don't show up, tell him to go to hell when he tries to warm up to you to fill the void of his lost love.
Hey, Guyspeak, why does my first comment not post until I try a second comment hours later? -- I don't mean to be repititious.
my piece of shit girlfriend, well she's going to be my ex once i pick up the phone just pulled this same shit on me, but guess what, i wasn't stupid enough like your boyfriend to fall for it, i did a bit of digging and realized she got two of her friends to get in on it, i feel lied to and used, i even asked her if it was her and she lied to me through her teeth, i have no more faith left in her, she claims it was a joke, but i am not a guinea pig or a toy to be trifled with as such. To the young lady who just did this, you're pathetic. With these kind of deep rooted insecurity issues I feel sorry you.
Wow, that's one messed up way of testing someone's loyalty. If you don't trust the person then why the heck are you with him? That's a major set-up; no one wins in those things.
My ex did something like that. He was always reading my mail, my journal, rifling through my private items looking for other men's phone numbers, chasing off my platonic male friends and making me constantly prove I wasn't cheating on him. I never cheated, but eventually I got sick of it all and left him. I certainly have my flaws, but I would never do that to someone I cared about, and I got tired of trying to convince him of that fact.
Dan, I'm sorry your gf did this to you. Believe it or not, not all women are like that. There are plenty of decent people out there.
girl you should work this opportunity....ur already insane why not take it to the next level....get a tan...if ur dark the n bleach your skin like michael jackson....start wearing contacts, dye your hair straighten or get a perm, get a new wardrobe sleep wih your man as both you and as sasha fierce....then one night u can dress like one when your suppose to be the other....it's all very film noir...then when he realizes you've tricked him u can kill him and steal his identity and do the same thing but as a MAN.... see what an amzaing plot like a fellini film....
lol it's kinda like he fell in love with you..
I don't blame you, you do stupid things when you get hurt....
AAHAHAHAAHAAAAHAHAHA I never post on forums like this but man I couldn't resist ..... has anyone read through all these comments. LMAO@ petitbourgeois .... OMG how hillarious is your advice. I so HOPE she's out there skin bleached out picking out a nice ice pick at walmart at the moment.. lol AND THEN before I even get to that comment, theres a whole mini conversation bout Jem!! LOL I love Jem, I thought everyone forgot about Jem. I loved my little Jem doll with the light up earings man wasI sad when the batteries ran out and my foreign born mother didn't see the point of getting new batteries :( Ok so as far as the real issue OH WAIT, "Just get you toothbrush and bail" !!! LMAO too too funny, ok well if you haven't taken your toothbrush and run, which I don't think you did cause if you were gonna go you would have BEFORE the fake FB. I kno what you're trying to do, you're trying to stick around in hopes that he's gonna fall in love with you again.... so the only way I see to fix this IS you've got him hooked on her so now start typing him random stuff along with the stuff he loves about her, you know things that make HER sound crazy, and not like such a great girl after all.... if you do it right, he'll appreciate what he does have and stop talking to THAT phsycho chic... get it? good luck :)
I don't think it was very clever that she pretended to be someone else to find out if her boyfriend would cheat on her, but this reminds me very much so to "Date line NBC" where cops "decoys" pose as 13, 14,15 year olds to talk to older man on chat rooms and lead them on to have sex with them, invite them over and once these men are there, they get arrested and send to jail with strong evidence of pedophilia..... Now, I would be willing to bet that half of the people that comment on this forum would be happy that this perverted men wanting to have sex with minors are going to jail, but is the law wrong for posing as minors and lead older men on to catch them and send them away??? With that being said, was this girl wrong for posing as someone else to catch her boyfriend on something that sooner or later was probably going to happen later on the relationship? Mmmm something to think about. That's solely my opinion, I don't mean to offend anyone but seriously don't give this girl a hard time about it...
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I came across this post after I did something similar to the girl that faked her identity Infact i did it twice to the same guy and he felt for it both times I have to confes that the second time was worst then the first cuz he went as far as meeting the girlI honestly i didnt get anything out of this I set him up for failure its a no win situation we both lost and neither of us should be trusted the hard part is that we both want to remain together we agree that we were both wrong my question is would it work