Perhaps he is...a little. You broke up with him because you had too much going on. Not to be a bad person, but that sounds kind of jacked up. You basically said, "I like you, but my job is requiring a lot of me right so something's got to give, and that is going to be you."
You told him that he was less important than something else. While it may be true, it's quite extreme to break it off for that purpose. Maybe your job is that stressful, and you did the right thing. But it's a bit ridiculous for you to think that he'd just be okay with it and want to be your buddy the next day. Hell, you said you're too busy for him but you still want him to be around the way you want him to? You don't want him to be able to make demands on your time, but you still hope he wants to talk when you have time or hang out? That's a bit selfish, no?
Going after your best friend is a hurt/desperation move. He knows it. You know it. She knows it. If she's smart (and a good friend) she'd stop him in his tracks and tell him about himself and not allow anything to develop. He's being a jerk there but he's hurt. No excuses, just an explanation. Hopefully he'll come to his senses and ease up on that but you need to do the same and realize that you broke up with him. If he doesn't want to deal with you, that's your own fault.
Sadatay.
Yeah...., what he said.
Pooty got it right. What it boils down to is that you're both jerks. He has every right to be angry with you. And you have every right to expect your friend to stick with you rather than him. If she doesn't, then she wasn't really your friend.
Well, I didn't get to explain it fully on here because I couldn't type it all, but the anniversary of my fathers passing also occured right before we broke up and I was not only under a lot of stress at work, but also a lot of emotional stress... something I've never been able to handle properly. And I tried to talk to him several times, before we broke up, about how I felt really very overwhelmed... But then he would proceed with the "I'm sorry you're overwhelmed...this is what I need for you to do for me," kind of thing. He never really tried to help to ease my pain of losing my father or anything (not that he's a jerk about that...but he just "didn't know what to say," which is understandable).
I told him that I didn't want to break up forever and that I still wanted to be with him, but I just couldn't even stand the pressure at the time (and on top of the stress from being fatherless and working almost full time, I am taking 5 classes trying to finish up my degree).
What am I supposed to do? Quit my job? Not pay my bills? Spend 3 more years in college? I told him all of this before and during the break up, and he didn't understand...
But the simple fact is that I DO miss him and I don't know what to do.
I wasnt able to explain everything in my question, so I am going to elaborate in hopes that Panama Jackson will see this. I broke up with my boyfriend, not only because of work, but I was also going through some serious emotional things. My father passed away and I broke up with my boyfriend right before what would have been my fathers birthday. I still have had a very hard time trying to figure out how to deal with my fathers death, because I was extremely close to him. Not only that, but I am also finishing up my degree in college, so I am taking 5 classes.
So, work has been hectic, I miss my dad and I'm swamped with school.
My (ex) boyfriend: Is taking 2 relatively simple classes and was jobless our whole relationship.
I don't know if that schedule would overwhelm you, but I was just emotionally and physically exhausted and he (while I still think he's great) was extremely demanding of my time.
I did explain to him several times during the relationship that I was exhausted and he never seemed to understand. Which is pretty much the basis of the break (or break-up at this point).
I told him during our final conversation that I still wanted to be with him, but I just didn't know how to handle the pressure and his demands were making me feel like a crappy girlfriend since I really, honestly, gave him the time I and I had zero time left over.
Maybe I am kind of a jerk for thinking that he shouldn't sew his wild oats only a month after we broke up. After all, I did the breaking up...
But...what was I supposed to do? Work less and not afford to pay my bills? Drop out of my classes? Stuff the overwhelming feeling from my fathers death?
I don't feel like I had many options...I guess I'm just hurt because I still have feelings for him and I don't think that he understood at all what I was going through.
You want to have your cake and eat it too. You basically said to your boyfriend, something's got to give, and it's going to be you. And then you expect him to understand and find a different way to be there. I'm not sure what you expected him to do. Maybe it's just the going after your friend thing that's the issue, but we know he's a douche.
I feel like you expected him to just say, "cool, I'll wait for you and work on myself in the process." That's all well and good except dude does have feelings that you hurt. You're exhausted so he has to go. Put yourself in his shoes. If he was like, "I've got a lot going on and I just dont think I can fit you in anymore" you'd be mad butthurt about it. He'd be saying that you're expendable, which is what you kind of told him.
You said that you've been exhausted for a while (I'm paraphrasing) and he never understood, but what was he supposed to do? Fall back? Break up with you at some point to give you space? Quite honestly, what did you expect? You're asking for him to be there when you need him but when you are too busy to wait until you have the time to deal with him. I wouldn't go for that either. You have feelings for him still. That's great, but you can't expect him to be happy about getting dumped b/c you've got too much going on. Or even that understanding. To you it makes sense. Something's got to give, but to expect the person you claim to have feelings for to understand getting kicked to the curb for your greater good as long as they know to still be around...
...that's a reach.
Alright, alright. Maybe I was being selfish. I kind thought I was doing my relationship with him a favor since I couldn't "be there" the way he wanted me to be.
I guess I'll just have to live with the consequences.
Life sucks sometimes.
Oops, I thought that one of them didn't post, so I rewrote it!
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