No, I do not concur at all. You read that in a book? What was the book, How To Date Like A Jackass?
Games. Silly, torturous games. I hate games. Most guys do. Games are played by disingenuous, underconfident people who need someone else to tell them what to do. Why would you get up and slip out? What silly reason did the writer give for this lame suggestion? I'm not a fan of manipulation tactics or books that endorse them. They don't work, anyway. As if building relationships is a set of steps to follow like a recipe for a bundt cake!
Act like you want to act. Follow your heart and your gut. If you wake up early and want to leave, leave, but don't do it simply because some book told you it was the right thing to do. If you don't want to leave, don't leave. Stay, have breakfast, maybe go for a second round of what you did the night before. If a guy has a good time with you on a date but wakes up to an empty bed and no explanation, he's going to feel rejected and annoyed, and he will never call you again. Is that what you want?
I say skip the games and the arbitrary rules written by someone who knows nothing about you or what you want. Be real. Act genuinely, not manipulatively. Do what feels right and let the chips fall where they may. If a guy decides he doesn't like you because you didn't vacate his bed early enough, at least you'll know quickly that you two are not a good match.
Follow your heart, not silly rules from a stranger.
Thanks for the question.
Does the book say what exactly this would accomplish?
I did this - not because of a book though. He ran down the street after me, yelled at me for a bit and then made me come back up. We're still together - 4yrs.
For me - I wanted one night of fun - clear in my mind. And I wanted to leave and remember it the way it was -unscathed by follow up texts and calls that I knew I wouldn't answer. After demanding my number (which I gave) and my address (which I definitely did not give) he called .....and I texted. But I found myself in his bed more and more - suprising even myself. I decided that this was a sex thing ONLY and that I wasn't ready to emotionally commit to a relationship but as I had so clearly met my match in the bedroom then why not take it as it comes? SO i compromised. I stayed over but left before he got up everyday. Firstly - I didn't want him getting any ideas about making me his girlfriend. And I certainly didn't want any kind of snuggling to come in the way of our situation and secondly - who likes doing the walk of shame at rush hour anyway? It took me a while to realise that he was the real deal (and a very patient man) and yes we sleep in the same bed AND I don't sneak out anymore :D
But the first morning cuddle is awesome D: Why pass up on that just to play silly games?
seriously awesome answer Cary.
Thank you, Chrissie.
Ive read this too! ( in a book i wont mention by a tv personality lol) there was an entire page on why this works apparently you do what most men do-leave in the AM so u dont look clingy and that makes him want 2 call u later on plus apparently its mysterious but i havent tried this and dont plan to its to risky
Ive read this too! ( in a book i wont mention by a tv personality lol) there was an entire page on why this works apparently you do what most men do-leave in the AM so u dont look clingy and that makes him want 2 call u later on plus apparently its mysterious but i havent tried this and dont plan to its to risky
I should write a book, but it would be short, 3 words, my philisophy is the "do unto others" thing. I've never had a guy do this to me, even the one one-night stand I've had didnt do this. And I would be PISSED if a guy did, guys have feelings to you know, I'm going with WA on this one, why make the guy feel pissed off / angry / confused??? I've NEVER heard a guy say that that is a turn-on.
I've been doing a lot of dating advice reading and the best guy I've seen is Mathew Hussey, hes brilliant, google him, if you want some advice.
I thought the whole sneaking-out-before-they-wake-up thing was the universal symbol for "I'm not interested in anything more."
Certainly if she did that to me that's what I would think. And, that would be the only reason I might have ever done that to a woman in the past.
OH MY GOD...When I read that question, the first thought that came to mind was, "did my past self come back in time and write this?"
Dude, I did that one time..And you know what happened? I NEVER. HEARD. FROM. HIM. AGAIN. The best thing to do is not let it get to a point where you're sleeping over prematurely. If you're sleeping over someone's place that you're well acquainted with, there's no need to play "the ghost game". Take it from me..Dipping in the middle of the night is not sexy, it's self-sabotaging.
This sounds more like a one night stand book than a relationship book. Is this supposed to be some method of leaving him in suspense, or getting him to pursue you? Either way, don't do it. It's lame, disrespectful and can be hurtful to someone.
Plus if you actually like this person they may be upset by you having done that and wouldn't be wrong to tell you to take a hike.