For starters, don't look at things you know are going to make you feel bad, like your boyfriend's photo albums of old girlfriends. How did you expect to feel after looking at shot after shot of your guy having good times with other women? Your reaction is normal, and you should have predicted it. You knew he dated others before you, right? Of course it sucked to see pictures of it and read e-mails between him and old girlfriends.
Look, anyone can work herself into an insecure frenzy by obsessing over the past loves of a partner. Maybe it is insecurity that makes you do dumb things like peruse his photo albums in the first place, but doing so only makes the self-doubt that much worse. Your boyfriend is right: everything in those albums and e-mails is the past, and you have to let it go. He has. If he wanted to be with any of those women, he would be with them now, wouldn't he? But he's not; he's with you. Why? Because he wants to be with you. Nobody has a gun to his head.
You are his partner today, and he says you are his future, too. Don't waste the present and the future obsessing over something that doesn't matter anymore: the past. Let it go, focus on today, and don't go looking for things that you don't want or need to see.
Thanks for the question.
Okay, you looked through some albums and saw a man who had some healthy relationships in the past. Sounds like a good thing and speaks well of him. At least you didn't see anything creepy or police-worthy. And that you found them in a closet shows he's not brooding over them, that you said 'our closet' suggests you guys are living together so you guys are not only solid but pretty far along in your relationship. Don't think you have a thing to worry about.
I supposed you could find a man who's not had any women before you, but, as another question to Funny Guy shows, that's not always a good thing either.
I knew my husband had photos of him and exes and they never really bothered me until he accused me of cheating. I made him throw away some of the pics after this particular fight because he had said he still had feelings for her, she dumped him, ect. He said it was the past but he didn't act that way. I sort of feel bad for making him toss the pics, well he did it himself but missed half of them which bothered me all the more as he couldn't even get them all. I feel like he should have gotten rid of them on his own since it's been over for awhile and he married me. Am I wrong?
Or maybe he shouldn't be keeping a photo album of his exes in "their" closet. That's kind of rude in my opinion, if they are of the past and they aren't something to dwell on then why even have them their to begin with? That seems like someone who really doesn't know how to let go of his past himself. I think I would ask him why does he have them in the closet and why does he need to keep them? That doesn't sound like something anybody would do. I'm sure all of those memories are filed away in his mind, why not leave them there instead of keeping pictures? I hate that sort of thing and I know I wouldn't be able to deal with it if my man had pictures of women from his past anywhere near where we resided, it wouldn't be worth the headache I'd get. Another thing, it's more about respect than insecurity in my opinion. You have to wonder what would make him keep these things.