I'm going to wager that they're pretty high. In a perfect world, you could frolick nude and bare as the day is long and nobody would care one smidgen. Unfortunately we live in a world where people elect inept public officials who decide to commemorate the Civil War without mentioning slavery.
Yes, this is where we live.
Men are selfish creatures. We do not like to share what we perceive as our "goods". And going to a nude beach where other nudists can see your goods would qualify as sharing. He will undoubtedly be pissed because you've basically taken license to showing off what you've got for anybody to see (or at least that's how he'll take it).
It seems like public nudity would be something you'd clear with your boyfriend - if that's his real name - ahead of time. While I think that you should definitely do what your heart desires (within reason), you have somebody else to think about it in the process. If he's uncomfortable with it, then you should decide if it's more important to you than he is. What this comes down to is the surprise. Men do not like surprises generally.
And saying, "hey baby, I decided to frequent nudist coloneis, go on topless hikes and you know my 12-year-old pervy next door neighbor? He's totally seen my triangle!" is a surprise men aren't going to want to hear. So it's probably not the nude thing that will freak him out and cause him to dump you, hell, you never know, he could have had an urge to drop the textiles too. It's the fact that you just went all commando on your own without telling him and now other guys are checking out your goodies and you didn't think enough to even let him know.
It's just inconsiderate, is all.
It was written.
REALLY?...This answer really suprises me...
why is that?
Idk I guess the idea of guys objecting to naked ladies of any sort goes against everthing I know...maybe it's just the guys I know...
Our goods lol. She is not his property, she should definitely had brought this up wayyyyyy earlier though. I give you that .
Doll, if freebirding is your thing then have at it. I thought in a relationship , we weren't supposed to be clingy and possessive? If he can't handle it , then piss off.
On a side note, its not like the people who you'd want to go nude go nude. Its usually these grannies with their prehistoric flap jacks running around the colony. I doubt he would have much to worry about.
I agree with you. He shouldn't view her as his property, but we do. It's ingrained in us. It's Cavemanian.
And really, its just the principal of it all. And while nudist colonies are full of people you dont want to see nude, it just that a lot of men (and women for that matter) are very conservative when it comes to that despite what TV shows us. So I wouldnt be surprised if dude was like, yeah, she's nuts. She's running around naked and I like my woman to be a little more classy than that.
Perception is a mofo.
One way to remind him she's not his property might be to take "his goods" wherever she damn pleases. I cannot imagine staying in a relationship with any man who would object to this. Baffled by men's ability to rationalize that sharing his eyeballs with other boobies = ok, but sharing her boobies with other eyeballs = not ok. Love your other advice though, Panama. Carry on.
also, why does it have to come down to class?
I completely agree with llima, its cool to go to strip joints and such, but let their "property" show some boobage and its off? hypocrisy overrules logic it seems.
panama, recognize i am not attacking you, just the hypocrisy of men.
I'm going to mostly agree. I don't think he'll out and out dump her, but he will definitely feel a bit betrayed at being let in after the fact. This is why upfront honesty is the best policy.
He could dump her or just be really annoyed.
Wow I am so suprised at this answer, I thought the first line was going to be a joke! Its rediculous to say she can't go places with her bare body without her boyfriend's approval! Should we ask for our men's approval beofre getting changed at the gym? WTF! Its not like she's stipping or somehting, she's tanning in her backyard for Christ's sake. I think she should just enjoy her body and as long as she's not purposefully flaunting it in front of men then i think that's fine. If he had objections to it then he better not say "I own you so put some clothes on". Tough shit if he thinks she's "his good". She's his girlfriend, not his female body to own.
I like how the fact that I'm saying the surprise of it all is being totally ignored. And no, he shouldn't view her as his property, but when you're dating somebody you do view them as your own personal person, on both sides. You wouldn't want your dude WITHOUT TELLING YOU (which is the main point here) that he's out stripping would you? What's the difference? At least he's getting paid and can bring money to the table.
You'd be all like, oh, that's okay. I love you more b/c you're stripping and enablign women to ogle your junk? c'mon son.
The fact is, I can't fault any dude for being like, I'm not feeling this and I'm out. Especially when she decided to do something "so free". You can BS this all you want, but when you women date a guy, you would be upset too if he came and told you that he was out prancing around nude. Why? Because he hit you with a surprise. It's the principal.
And some of you may go even further and start wondernig what ELSE he isn't telling you. Keep it real.
By the way, technically, isn't going to a nudist colony flaunting yoru body in front of men? I know its what everybody's doing there but is'nt that kind of the point? I love and appreciate my body, you should to? You're right, if dude can't handle it he should roll.
Which is what he just might do which is what I said.
Being in a nudist colony and stripping are seperate the way pornography and nude art are seperate. One is meant for sexual attraction and titilation, the other is just showing and admiring the human body. That's the best analogy i can refer to for this one.... naked for naked = ok,... naked for sex things= not ok.
Of course going to a nude beach and stripping are entirely different. One is about being free and comfortable in public, and the other is attracting men for the purpose of them paying you. PLus, there's touching involved in stripping, no?
When I am dating someone, they are my boyfriend, but I don't own the rights to their body. I mean, if I did, I would mandate shower days, shaving days, and he could only jack off to pictures of me.... (just kidding).
I think if he's uncomfortable then he should voice his concerns and she should take them into consideration. But, this is NOT a permission kind of thing, thats rediculous!
I myself wouldn't go to a nudist colony but I would go to a nude beach, I swim naked in my backyard, and I change naked and shower at the gym. Its MY body, good God! Why do men have to make everything sexual? We were born naked. Its ok to be naked in public as long as its not for sexual purposes.
The only thing that grosses me out about this conversation is the fact that someone would admit to thinking they own someone... God that is so wrong.. Thats grounds for a break up right there.. Jesus, ladies no matter what, even after marriage NO ONE OWNS YOU (this goes for guys too, we do not own you) I hate this whole world of double standers when it comes to this site...
So, I guess it's ok for everyone to just do whatever the hell they want nowadays, right? And you shouldn't care what your significant other thinks about it, even though they are associated with you and have to go out in public with you, right?
So, if people start talking about this girl--you know, "Oh, that's so-and-so, she takes her clothes off ALL the time, what a weirdo," or even "Oh my god that girl is such a slut, she tans in her backyard naked!" because really, let's be honest, people are judgemental like that--then the boyfriend might feel embarrassed. Who wants to walk around town having people snickering behind your back at your girlfriend? It's not just a matter of him "not wanting others to see her goodies" or whatever, it's actually a matter of him "not wanting others to judge her based on her actions and come to the conclusion that she's not socially acceptable."
Because you know what? It's hard walking around with someone that other people think is weird, especially if you think what they're doing is weird, too. An ex-boyfriend of mine insisted on growing bizarre facial hair and it really embarrassed me. I don't consider myself to be shallow; the problem was that my family and friends were laughing at him behind his back. And I hated the facial hair, too. It was uncomfortable to walk down the street and have people stare at him . . . and then inevitably stare at me, too, judging us both. And you all can go ahead and say, "Oh, people shouldn't judge other people!" But they do. It's human nature. It's how we determine where we stand and where we fit into the grand scheme of things. (And the facial hair thing isn't a big deal AT ALL, it was just an example.)
So, it's not just about a partner being possessive. It's about a partner being uncomfortable with the other partner's actions, because what one person does affects the other. Being an individual is great, but people need to be a little more considerate, and start thinking about how their behaviour affects other people, not just themselves.
I'm surprised too. I know so many guys that are into the whole sex in public stuff I always just thought of it as the same thing.
I'm all for women feeling empowered and owning their body or whatever, but I agree with Panama on this one. POINT: If this was/is something she was/is interested in while with her beau, why not talk/jokingly bring it up before relishing life in the buck? I mean, you should share your interests and desires with your significant other and if he/she can't hang (which is understandable) then you should be with someone who doesn't mind this activity/quality and may even like doing it as well. He might dump you OR pull back a little? As Panama said, he may be wondering if there's anything else (little secret) you haven't told him.
Communication is key! Talk to him about it, if anything, maybe he will at the very least appreciate that you told him at all. (though not likely?)
I think another question we should ask is whether this is a form of self-expression or a manifestation of fetish and exhibitionism. If it's the former, then I disagree with your contention, Panama, that she has acted "inconsiderately." It's her body after all, and if she feels more comfortable at a nude beach, then I don't really feel like it's her boyfriend's deal. But it sounds more to me that this is something that is sexually exciting for her. That means that she is getting a thrill out of other people looking at her and intentionally revealed herself to others. In that case, I feel like she's done something that likely breaches her boyfriend's trust. I agree with the posters who take issue with the idea that her boyfriend owns her body -- it doesn't matter if we have a tendency to see someone as our "personal person" (as you put it Panama) in a relationship, because while that may be our perception, it is not the reality. The poster is an individual and should be allowed to express herself how she chooses, so long as she is not breaking any local ordinances. But if she's purposefully revealing herself for sexual pleasure? I think that crosses a line.
It's a delicate issue, and I think your answer was maybe a bit black and white. It raises an interesting issue though -- how much personal freedom are we really allowed in a relationship before we are breaking our partner's trust?
I'm not accusing you of anything, Panama, but I do have to wonder if your answer would have been completely different had a guy asked it. (This is coming from someone who mostly agrees with your answer.)
All six of the guys on GuySpeak (ok, so maybe Nick is an exception) seem to have slight double-standards as far as being "clingy and possessive" goes. It seems like women can't get upset about ANYTHING men do without being told to get a grip and stop being so paranoid and/or clingy. Men do the same, and they're typically justified.
Au contraire. I have no clue how everybody got so focused on the whole possessive part of it. I think its inconsiderate for anybody to do something like that without talking it out to thine significant other. guys or gals. if i decided i wanted to start going to nudist colonies - and did it - and then started telling my girlfriend she'd have every right to think it was screwed up, b/c it is. i'm with her and something that affects her, she has the right to know about. and my nudity does affect her and how she perceives our relationship.
i'm sure i have double standards. i'm a guy. but in this case, who asked is irrelevant. its the principal.
I sort of agree about the double standards. Regardless of whether or not the guyspeakers have them, the world undoubtedly does, and I hate that. If men don't want to share, then women shouldn't have to share. End of story.
As much as I like reading what the guys have to say (because their trying to be honest).... Sometimes I have to stop because it only reaffirms my worst fears about men lol But... I hear what Panama's saying in this case and for the most part he gave her what he thought the scenario would be like if she just sprung that on the guy
I think it's funny how almost everyone zeroed onto the words, " our goods" and immediately freaked out. Tunnel-vision much?
Of course your body is your own. Of course you can do whatever you want with it, including flaunting it in nudist colonies. Of course no one should make you do what you don't want to do.
But face it, when you have a significant other, you inevitably DO see them as yours. Not as a slave, but as someone who is exclusively intimate with you. For most of us, nudity is pretty damn intimate. And it's different in nudist colonies and topless hikes where you are actually interacting with others in the buff, than merely changing in a gym.
if this comment were peanut butter, i'd add jelly, make a sandwich and eat it. thats how much i love it.
Well put. Thank you for converting PJ's answer into "girl speak". :)
First, she never said she was flaunting her body in nudist colonies. Why is it everyone always assumes nudity is about other people seeing you naked? Can't it jsut be about being naked and the free feeling of no clothing?. Plus, you agree to be SEXUALLY intimate with your partner. You can share regular intimate things of course with other people like your friends,etc. I'd also argue that anyone who considers going to a nude beach doesn't consider nudity a really intimate thing. Plus, unless she's purposefully doing things with other men while nude, then its not a SEXUALLY intimate thing. They probably just want to be naked and stuff. I actually just got an invite to do naked yoga at a studio, cause i do yoga and it sounded really freeing. If I had a boyfriend I'd let him know, but I wouldnt ask permission.
Of course everyboyd zeroed in on "our goods". It was a particularly disturbing statement. Notice he didnt say, "my person", or "my lady". He said, "our goods", like women are some sort of object. That's why everyone was annoyed.
Has anyone else noticed how the guys are being attacked so much lately for their answers? I mean come on you submit a question becuase you want to here A GUYS OPINION about it. So why all these women are suddenly expecting a trained psycologists opinion is beyond me. I mean this site is for us to hear what NORMAL GUYS think right? Not all your friends at sewing class. This site was created so that girls could understand how and I say this again GUYS think. If they wanted to hear a girl based opinion WHY BE ON HERE? I'm sorry I'm just tired of everyone bashing you guys so much lately. Thank you for answering these questions as honestly as you can. You guys are great :)
Well, I think that most of those cases were where the lovely ladies on here were attacking moral issues, double standards, etc. I agree with you that we do come on here to get the average guy's opinion, but it's difficult not to point out things that woman-kind finds unfair, ridiculous, or morally wrong. For the most part, I think that the guys on here give great answers and have taught us all a lot about the inner-workings of the male brain.
As one who has been outspoken about my opinion, I felt the need to correct you on your reply.
Your assumptions on motives are, as most assumptions tend to be, wrong. We arent looking for anything more than the guys honest answers, not anything more or less. But a guys perspective doesn't make it correct, it just makes it a perspective. And any attacks I have read have generally been against the double standards of men, the lacking use of logic men use, the caveman perceptions men still carry around that they are naturally embedded with... that seriously need to be updated, the excuses that men carry around and pull out like the winning card when they aren't capable of accepting responsibility for their actions, etc. , not on the men themselves, we are shooting the message, not the messenger.
We aren't asking our friends at sewing class (who goes to sewing class anyway?), we are asking the guys on here, and we are smart enough to know the difference, despite what you think.
I cant help but laugh at how you repeat yourself as if we are the ones who are dense. And then I read your next sentence and laugh even harder.
Maybe next time, instead of calling out those who voice their opinions, you work on your reading comprehension skills.
I agree that the guys are all great.
Ex. Act. Ly.
She should just invite her boyfriend to the nude beach and they can both be naked together -- best of both bare worlds.
I've done that before. My guy stopped feeling left out, and quickly saw that my wanting to be naked was NOT about sex, but rather being physically comfortable. Jersey summers are hot and humid! And I am grateful that I have a place to go to where I can enjoy a nice breeze on my skin.
It's when a woman goes to a nude beach and refuses to bring her bf that he should get worried. Because that would indicate an ulterior motive on her part. If she's not there to show off for other men, then she certainly won't mind having her man with her.
Also, nudity does not always equal sex. I will repeat this: NUDITY DOES NOT ALWAYS EQUAL SEX. I know it's hard for a lot of men to understand, and even a lot of women. But please, try to let this (fact) sink in a little, ok? Less drama, people... less drama. Make the world a happier place.
Whether or not we as women like the idea, men do view there partners as there personal property to some degree, its a natural thing for them. And whether or not we want to face it, women treat men the same way! How many times have you got jealous when you caught some young hottie checking out your man? We are much more likely to say something about it as well, I've seen many "women" clear her throat at her man to get him to quit checking out some chick, or pull her man closer to show the other girl that he is obviously taken, or even make snide comments to the other woman like "better quit checking out my man" etc.... admit it, you know you've seen similar situations occur. Most men aren't going to treat us as their property, but mentally, that's what we are to them, and that's not a bad thing really. That means they care enough about us to claim us.
But Panama was more focused on the surprise she is going to throw on him than the property thing, and really, he is right. Its her body, but by committing herself to him, there are some things (like exposing your naked body to random people, lol) that should be discussed at the beginning of the relationship. Its just being considerate to the fact that he might not like it and at least giving him a chance to share his opinion on the matter. If you choose to disregard his opinion, and risk the relationship, that's on you, but you should at least be upfront with him.
I think inviting him along would be a good idea.
Bottom line: She needs to decide what is more important to her -- being naked infront of anyone and everyone, or her boyfriend. It's her body, and she gets to choose what she wants to do with it. If he has a problem with her "desire", then he is not the right guy for her. Period.
has she taken a liking to being in the nude or having people look at her nude? enjoying nudity and being an exhibitionist are two totally different things.
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