You have a glass of seltzer with lime, cranberry juice, or a diet coke. You make pleasant conversation. Ask him lots of questions! Enjoy the company of another human being for half an hour. Thank him for his time. Tell him you'll see him at work tomorrow.
Then go home and hug your boyfriend. Or dump him!
You accepted this invitation for one of two reasons: you meant to be polite, but in the process, you allowed this guy to bully you into something resembling a date. I'll throw in a little vanity, as well. If he was such a nice guy, would he have served up such a douchelicious line as "I know, was trying to forget the boyfriend." I mean, did he wink after that? Does he have a greasy mustache?
The other reason you took this creep up on his totally transparent offer is because you were flattered, you think he's cute, and you actually want to go on a date with him. If this is true, own it. But don't play innocent. You need to figure out why you're going on this little outing
Next time the dude asks you out, laugh. Tell him that you have a boyfriend. If he tries his witty little remark again, say "Well, I just reminded you."
Great answer. If she were really committed to her boyfriend like she says she is, she would have declined his offer, knowing his intentions. But because she agreed, she's probably a little intrigued by him. He doesn't sound like a nice guy if he's trying to ask out a girl who already has a boyfriend. And I'm sure her boyfriend wouldn't be too happy to hear that she's going out for a drink with this guy.
but on another hand we can have guy friends .. even if hes interested in her in a sexual way she doesnt have to be .. she can stil have drinks with him and keep that barrier up .. as long as her bf knows and thinks it ok as well .. or even call her bf and have him come meet them at the bar !
This guy doesn't want to be her friend. I say he just wants some ass. JDV is totally right. This guy is an honors graduate of the ScumWad Academy. He is hitting on someone who is attached in hopes that she will break up with her boyfriend and go out with him, or at least sleep with him.
Jerks don't deserve consideration. She should tell this guy "no" to drinks or anything else posing as a date. Someone who does this doesn't respect other people's boundaries. She is not his property. He shouldn't be treating her like she is.
Very good answer.
I definitely think that the question-asked loves the attention, and that it played into this. No one held a gun to your head and forced you to go out on a date with this guy. I can't believe you're doing it even after he made it clear that his intentions are at least semi-romantic. That's not ok, and I bet your boyfriend would be pissed. How would you feel if he did that to you? I bet it wouldn't be so fun if the tables turned.
I'm always really annoyed by the playing innocent routine. I really think the question-asker has some kind of issue that needs to be sorted out, because if she were truly committed to her boyfriend and secure in her relationship, I doubt any of this would be a problem.
Thanks for the answer, John! It was my question. :)
I'm going to do what is in the first paragraph. I actually have this problem with a lot of guys in my life (how do I say that without sounding conceited?!) because I work out, have a good job & look after myself. Guys just fall all over themselves & it gets a little bit lame after a while.
Usually though they respect that I'm in a relationship and wait until I'm single to swoop. Not this time! It threw me & because this guy does my admin at work it was a little bit AWKWARD.
I've re-iterated how wonderful my boyfriend is TO HIM and discussed wedding plans with the other women in the office IN FRONT OF HIM so I think he has the message plain and clear.
There is no reason this guy can't be a friend. My boyfriend knows I'm going to go for a drink after work with him & he's cool with it. We're secure in our relationship & discuss everything openly. He trusts me & he knows I get a lot of attention off guys.
Anyway, thanks for the answer John !
What? Im surprised that you would tell her to agree to go out with this guy when she already has a man. This is the problem with men...when your in a relationship, you should not open that door. Obviously if she is considering a date with this new guy then she should FIRST deal with her current relationship and figure out why she is considering it with this douche bag that dosnt care if she already has a boyfriend. Be honest with yourself first and then your man before you open that door or everyone could get hurt.