Let me applaud you for doing the right thing. You were honest. The problem with the right thing is that it's not particularly sexy. No one throws parades for telling the unadorned truth.
It sucks. There's a reason doing the wrong thing is so attractive. It's easy. You get to tell people what they want to hear, while getting what you want. The truth is naked and it shakes in the cold. Lies dress to kill.
If you don't love the guy, you don't love him. You know what I can't stand about cowards? How they'll risk the feelings of people they know just to protect their own. You didn't do this. You broke his heart, and, in a way, yours too. It's never fun to be responsible for another persons suffering. But you don't always get to be the hero of your own little movie. Sometimes, you have to be the bad guy in some other persons movie. It sounds like you've taken responsibility for hurting this guy.
But it's not over quite yet. What do you do now? You grin and bear it. Take that pain you feel, and put it in a cooler deep buried deep within your guts. Your guilt does not trump his heartbreak. There is nothing worse than being dumped and then having to tend to the wounds of the person who dumped you. Do this guy a favor and move on. Fast. Replace your heart with that of a robot. Be cold. It'll make it easier for him to move on. And, look, no one gets over something like this quickly. But fake it, and eventually, you'll start acting like you've gotten over it. Eventually, you will get over it.
Go out with friends. Eat ice cream cones. Start making passes at cute guys at the park. The sooner you start living your life, the sooner the both of you can get on with life.
I absolutely love this answer. It's a nice reassurance that doing the right thing isn't always easy but it is the RIGHT thing. Thanks JD.
I don't think they have broken up... I think he said it, she didn't and she wants to know how to move forward with the relationship, since she isn't ready to say it yet??
This happened to me and my boyfriend (except I was the one saying, "I love you"). When he didn't say it, it sucked. So much. I spent the next 2 weeks trying to figure out if we should break up. I didn't, and we are still together 2 years after the fact. So, if this is what your question was asking, don't make relationship-ending decisions based on this glitch. I mean, he may want to decide for you... but, if not, hang on and see how you feel in a few months. In the mean time, it also might be a good idea to think about why you couldn't say it. Do you think you will you ever be able to?
Great answer, DeVo. Kudos.
Such a good answer, John..and yeah, it sucks. I met a guy; we hit it off; he said he loved me. Too much, too soon, and I was only a year out of a 10 year marriage. I really enjoyed being with him, but I knew deep down I wasn't ready to be in the kind of relationship that he wanted. So I told him so...and let him go. Hardest thing I've ever done. I've started to pick up the phone a hundred times, but that wouldn't be fair to him.
Wow... I sure wish I had read this stuff before I made the mistake of contacting the guy I was honest with. I'm a widow. Married 27 years when he died. Started dating a year ago. My husband passed 3 years ago. Met a few nice guys, some not so nice. I started seeing one guy exclusively.
Really nice, lots of fun, but not really attracted to him physically or in an intimate way. I told him so. He was incredibly sad. We chatted a bit through emails. I really missed his companionship. He wanted more. I contacted him by phone and it was so awkward. We went back and forth a bit with emails. I wish I had just kept it simple.I guess I just didn't want to be the bad guy. Now I dragged it out and made it worse for him. Such a shame. Anyway, I'm glad I did one thing right. I was honest and didn't string him along.
love is powerful isn't it?
love is a wonderful feeling.
the truth is naked and it shakes in the cold.