I'm always surprised when people are shocked by workplace romance. We're increasingly spending more and more time at the office--it stands to reason that love (or at least boot knocking) would bloom. Why do companies even bother frowning on it anymore? Considering how many workplace affairs have been in the news lately, it's safe to say it's not going to stop anytime soon.
As someone who has been in workplace relationships, and witnessed their dramatic fallouts, I feel pretty equipped to dispense advice on this topic. Here is what you should do to keep it on the down-low.
1. Keep it out of the office. That's it. That's the easiest thing to do. Your coworkers are bored and looking for something, anything, to gossip about between games of online Scrabble. If you two so much as accidentally brush hands by the elevator, it'll be the talk of the office for at least a week or so. Don't compliment his new haircut, don't laugh too long at his jokes, and never take long lunches with him. When your coworkers ask you about him say, "Ted? He's okay. Those muffins he brought last week were pretty good." Keep it general and professional. Then relish the look of surprise on their face when they get an invitation to your wedding.
2. Don't argue in front of your coworkers. Obviously, there's tons of romantic tension between you guys that could erupt into saucy Moonlighting-esque banter at any moment. But if there is any hint of tension between you and your office love, people are going to immediately assume you're doing it. The point is, your coworkers are nosy and have boring lives.
3. Act like he's not special. I know all you can think about is scheduling a late-afternoon meeting in the conference room with his "Bachman Turner Overdrive," but you have to treat him like any other coworker. When I was in 4th grade my teacher's son was also in the class, and whenever he'd go up to her desk to ask for lunch money or whatever, her tone suddenly changed from "teacher" to "mom." Naturally, the other kids noticed it, and bullied said kid relentlessly. Around the office, you've got to treat him the same way you do Suzy in accounting-- with begrudging tolerance and occasional passive-aggressiveness.
4. Don't have sex in the bathroom/supply closet/on your boss's desk. I know the temptation is overwhelming, but the last thing you want is Mark, that suck-up from biz dev who always stays late to impress management, to walk in on your hot, hot office sexytime. Also, it's not all that hygienic. Remember, you're getting it on where your boss eats his lunch.
5. If it goes sour, pray he gets another job or transfers to the Utica branch. Seriously, work is a drag enough as it is. Why do you also need to see your ex on a daily basis? I'm sure some people are able to get past it, but the aftermath of a workplace relationship is almost always a disaster. Kind of like the final season of Moonlighting.
As someone who has been in workplace relationships, and witnessed their dramatic fallouts, I feel pretty equipped to dispense advice on this topic. Here is what you should do to keep it on the down-low.
1. Keep it out of the office. That's it. That's the easiest thing to do. Your coworkers are bored and looking for something, anything, to gossip about between games of online Scrabble. If you two so much as accidentally brush hands by the elevator, it'll be the talk of the office for at least a week or so. Don't compliment his new haircut, don't laugh too long at his jokes, and never take long lunches with him. When your coworkers ask you about him say, "Ted? He's okay. Those muffins he brought last week were pretty good." Keep it general and professional. Then relish the look of surprise on their face when they get an invitation to your wedding.
2. Don't argue in front of your coworkers. Obviously, there's tons of romantic tension between you guys that could erupt into saucy Moonlighting-esque banter at any moment. But if there is any hint of tension between you and your office love, people are going to immediately assume you're doing it. The point is, your coworkers are nosy and have boring lives.
3. Act like he's not special. I know all you can think about is scheduling a late-afternoon meeting in the conference room with his "Bachman Turner Overdrive," but you have to treat him like any other coworker. When I was in 4th grade my teacher's son was also in the class, and whenever he'd go up to her desk to ask for lunch money or whatever, her tone suddenly changed from "teacher" to "mom." Naturally, the other kids noticed it, and bullied said kid relentlessly. Around the office, you've got to treat him the same way you do Suzy in accounting-- with begrudging tolerance and occasional passive-aggressiveness.
4. Don't have sex in the bathroom/supply closet/on your boss's desk. I know the temptation is overwhelming, but the last thing you want is Mark, that suck-up from biz dev who always stays late to impress management, to walk in on your hot, hot office sexytime. Also, it's not all that hygienic. Remember, you're getting it on where your boss eats his lunch.
5. If it goes sour, pray he gets another job or transfers to the Utica branch. Seriously, work is a drag enough as it is. Why do you also need to see your ex on a daily basis? I'm sure some people are able to get past it, but the aftermath of a workplace relationship is almost always a disaster. Kind of like the final season of Moonlighting.
Good advice. Why is it so tempting to do the deed on your bosses desk or even your parents bed. I just don't get it!