Holy role-reversal, Batman! Or should I say hole-reversal? No, I really shouldn't. I apologize.
As a healthily perverted man, why your boyfriend won't even give anal a shot is beyond me. Is he the kind of guy who won't try new foods, or is he just weird about putting his penis places where poop is? A mystery for greater minds than I to ponder. It's a shame; this is the exact kind of pondering Socrates really got off on.
Whatever the reason, I'm sorry to say you've got to respect your boyfriend's feelings on the subject. We all want/need (very judicious use of a slash, by the way) particular things in our sex lives, but unless you happened to somehow find your exact sexual match, those wants/needs aren't always going to line up. It's a by-product of this whole "monogamy" experiment that seems so popular these days.
If there are things you'd want to veto in bed, you have to respect your partner's right to do the same. After all, suppose he wants/needs to horse-whip you while wearing a diaper and singing a medly of Cher songs?
A guy who won't stop pestering his girlfriend to let him in the backdoor is a creep, and you will be too if you push your man to do something he's not comfortable with. These are the compromises we must make as civilized creatures.
If it's really important to you, let him know that; maybe you can come to an understanding. Maybe even try to tempt him again every once in a while. But if he's a flat-out no, at the end of the day, you can't force him to change something so personal. And pushing will probably just make him defensive and pouty.
Unless you wait till he's sleeping and reverse-butt rape him.
Not that I'm endorsing that.
Send pictures.
It it's fecal matter he's worried about, you could compromise a bit by agreeing to do an enema a few hours before-hand- if it would put the boyfriend at ease, why not?
Swaim is right, though. Pushing too hard is creepy, regardless of gender (er, that sounded all kinds of wrong). Asking in the heat of the moment in the middle of having just plain old vaginal sex might be an option. Being very turned on messing with the old brain chemistry...
Why not just get him to use a dildo on you if he doesn't want to get the job done himself. Although that might make him feel a bit useless and unloved. Better yet just use the dildo on yourself. Tape yourself or something and then give him the little home made porno. If he ain't getting turned on well...
I'm all out of ideas honestly.
Butt plug while having vaginal sex is what I used to do. Two guys in a row didn't like it - they were kind enough to try it though. They had no problems with the toy though. They actually enjoyed how it made vaginal sex feel - and I got off :) Enemas and condoms may help with persuasion, but don't push it. And never surprise him - he'll know and won't appreciate it. I also think it's playing dirty if you ask in the middle of sex - he's not thinking clearly.
A good answer on the hole, Swaim.
i belive your boy friend got rape and you pushinghim into it may be bad u should think of other way of injoying your self with your man if you like or love him try other way of injoy your sex life
i belive your boy friend got rape and you pushinghim into it may be bad u should think of other way of injoying your self with your man if you like or love him try other way of injoy your sex life
You have to respect his comfort level..but maybe you can compromise..have him use a condom and plenty of lube ? Or use a sex toy instead. Either way, this really isn't a deal breaker for me... You can still satisfy yourself personally .
"send pictures" lol. Oooh Micael. You're silly.
Oh my god this answer killed me
I am in the same boat. My boyfriend and I have had anal before, but he never brings it up until I mention it months later and then he seems friendly to the idea again. Why can't he talk about it, or crave it? In the past 3 years, we've done anal MAYBE 7-8 times. I love it when I feel clean, and I love it without a condom. I enjoy it when he cums in me too, but he has major issue with unprotected sex, and cumming in me. We were both virgins before we gave it to one another, and we are both very faithful to eachother. STDs do not concern me at this point, but he's always slapping a condom on, or he pulls out and cums on my back or stomach. Ew. Why can't he enjoy it? Talk about? Or suggest that we do it?
I've been with my boyfriend for 7years. He's 24 and I'm turning 23. We have a 5yr old son together. We both love sex but I feel I'm always begging him do to me anal. We've done it before but he didn't last long because of the tightness. So everytime I bring it up when we're having sex he tells me no unless I want him to bust quick. I have a feeling its something else because just yesterday I asked him if we could do anal since I've been feening for it and he said yes. So last night before he came in the room I changed into some sexy clothes just because he agreed to my favor. I layed on the bed and when he came in the room he didn't even notice what I changed into and he turned off the lights, layed down and went to sleep. It hurt my feelings really bad. I just don't know why he would agree to it and then not come through.. I need someones opinion! :(
I've been with my boyfriend for 7years. He's 24 and I'm turning 23. We have a 5yr old son together. We both love sex but I feel I'm always begging him do to me anal. We've done it before but he didn't last long because of the tightness. So everytime I bring it up when we're having sex he tells me no unless I want him to bust quick. I have a feeling its something else because just yesterday I asked him if we could do anal since I've been feening for it and he said yes. So last night before he came in the room I changed into some sexy clothes just because he agreed to my favor. I layed on the bed and when he came in the room he didn't even notice what I changed into and he turned off the lights, layed down and went to sleep. It hurt my feelings really bad. I just don't know why he would agree to it and then not come through.. I need someones opinion! :(
Swaim said
"A guy who won't stop pestering his girlfriend to let him in the backdoor is a creep, and you will be too if you push your man to do something he's not comfortable with."
Quite frankly, that understates it. Guys who pester their girlfriends about doing something get villified. Having asked once, it is okay to then once discuss it over a reasonable non-pestering time period to say, "Are you sure? This is an important part of sex to me and I guess either man or woman should decide if it is a dealbreaker"... and leave it at that.
But yeah, anything more than that is pestering. So a woman should get used to doing the same thing, i.e. ask and then re-address reasonably. Once that has not suceeded, tough luck. A boundary is crossed if a woman pesters her guy into doing something and women should get used to the same stigma if they go too far.
Lastly, it is fine for anybody here on the forum to ask why he might not be comfortable, however, it is not cool for people to say he is crazy not to want anal or anything else for that matter. It's his personal preference.
Equality, if that is what we want, means equality. Otherwise GTFO. Appalling.
I'm in the same boat. He doesn't like the fact that "thats where poop comes from" so I suggested condoms. I guess I had been nagging a bit, so I tried asking more seriously if the though bothered him, he said kinda. Then he declared its something that should be in celebration of something. I think he just wanted to stop talking about it.
Yeah, so at work, im officially management soon. Thats something to celebrate right? How do I bring it up again so soon?
I'm in the same boat. He doesn't like the fact that "thats where poop comes from" so I suggested condoms. I guess I had been nagging a bit, so I tried asking more seriously if the though bothered him, he said kinda. Then he declared its something that should be in celebration of something. I think he just wanted to stop talking about it.
Yeah, so at work, im officially management soon. Thats something to celebrate right? How do I bring it up again so soon?