You get over it by reminding yourself what you already know: not all men are alike. Then you get on with your life.
Just because a guy cheats on you doesn't mean the next one will. Don't let one jerk destroy your faith in the male species. That's not fair to yourself or to the men you will date in the future. Every new guy deserves a clean slate, and you deserve to be excited and optimistic about every new relationship. If you expect the worst, the worst is what you will get.
Yeah, you got betrayed. You aren't the first. I know it hurts, but such is life. Bad things happen. People hurt us. That's on them, but if we let them steal our joy, that's on us. The past is the past--let it stay there.
If you watch football you've no doubt seen a player take a brutal hit and then pop back up immediately, as if to say, "Pffft. Didn't hurt a bit." That's mental toughness, and you have to do the same thing when someone knocks your ass into the dirt. Get tough, get up off the ground, and get on with your life. It's a matter of willpower, really. Resolve to remain positive and hopeful about your love life. Whenever insecurities try to sneak in, slam the door and tell them to piss off.
I'm sorry you got hurt, but it's done. Move on.
Thanks for the question.
awesome answer. the only way that you can get over a trust situation from the past is by creating a new trust situation in your present and future, and the only way you can do that is by doing exactly what Cary said. the sad truth is that in this day and age, there are more gamers, players, and manipulators in the dating pool than there probably ever has been. so you may get hurt again. in fact, the odds are good that you will. but you've got two choices. go out into the dating world like a bitter banana and punish every new guy you meet for the mistakes of the last guy, or suck it up like Cary said and just be brave and wait for the good one that will prove there are good ones left. the thing about trust is that when you DO meet one of the good ones, you get as good as you give, and they make the wait and the pain of endurance so worthwhile. good luck.
Cary's answer is great, but I wish there was more to it. Change "being cheated on" for "being used for sex" and you have my situation. First and only boyfriend I've ever had broke something inside me. It doesn't matter how much I reason with myself. I think of myself as a sex-positive person, but I can't seem to apply it to myself. I thought I finally had the right attitude when I found a guy I really liked "for all the right reasons" and, in spite of how hard it was, I bit the bullet and asked him out.
We went out for drinks and ended up kissing. When he ran his fingertips up my thigh I instinctively stopped him. I freaked out thinking there had been no talk of "feelings" and there was no "contract" to guarantee that the kiss meant as much to him as it did to me. That night he texted me teling me he'd had a good time. A few days later I tried starting a conversation with him but he was busy. The week after that I tried asking him out and got a late answer in the form of "I'm busy right now. Maybe some other time."
I still wonder what went wrong. Can't help but think it had something to do with the contradiction in my sexually liberated prudishness and the fact that, deep down, sex came to mean "being used" (as opposed to "having fun"). Can't help but wonder if it wasn't just my luck this guy wanted nothing serious in the first place.
What I'm trying to get at is that as good as Cary's advice is, it's a lot easier said than done. You tell yourself you'll give the next guy a chance and can still sabotage everything because deep down you're afraid he'll cheat on you (you could get too anxious when he doesn't answer the phone, too worried about his gal friends, too jumpy when he gets a text message).
I wish I had a better way to expand on Cary's answer other than: "Don't sabotage yourself."