There's no reason to feel guilty at this point. You were faithful to him, and told him right away, so you've done everything right. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Hopefully you've been practicing safe sex with your boyfriend, both to prevent pregnancy and to prevent spreading STDs. If not, all you can do now is be honest and help each other through this.
You can't blame yourself for having more experience than your boyfriend. And stop thinking of yourself as a whore. It's not entirely your fault. Yes, you were sleeping around in the past, and should have practiced safe sex. But your boyfriend also has to take responsibility for his own health and well-being. I don't care if it was his first time-- you still need to be safe. I don't buy that he didn't know what to do. He's just as responsible as you are. Also, the guy who gave you herpes obviously wasn't honest with you. It's also his responsibility to practice safe sex and let you know that he has herpes. But, here we are.
No good will come of beating yourself up over this. All you can do is be honest with your guy, and tell him to get tested. Hopefully you were safe and he won't catch anything. Maybe he'll get lucky. And if not, you'll help him through it. This is why schools should preach safe sex, and not abstinence. It doesn't matter if it's your first time or 51st--wrap it up or regret it, folks.
You can't blame yourself for having more experience than your boyfriend. And stop thinking of yourself as a whore. It's not entirely your fault. Yes, you were sleeping around in the past, and should have practiced safe sex. But your boyfriend also has to take responsibility for his own health and well-being. I don't care if it was his first time-- you still need to be safe. I don't buy that he didn't know what to do. He's just as responsible as you are. Also, the guy who gave you herpes obviously wasn't honest with you. It's also his responsibility to practice safe sex and let you know that he has herpes. But, here we are.
No good will come of beating yourself up over this. All you can do is be honest with your guy, and tell him to get tested. Hopefully you were safe and he won't catch anything. Maybe he'll get lucky. And if not, you'll help him through it. This is why schools should preach safe sex, and not abstinence. It doesn't matter if it's your first time or 51st--wrap it up or regret it, folks.
You can get herpes even if you're practicing safe sex. Besides, I dont really see anything "safe" in using a condom with some guy you dont know and who clearly had no interest in protecting a girl's health. Condoms are great and all, but they aren't like a magical shield against STD's. If you dont want them then dont sleep with lots of random people, and get tested before sleeping with boyfriends with the new boyfriend so you're a happy tested couple. (Even STD tests cant test for every STD, but its way better than not testing).
Honestly, when you think about it, STDs are a sign that human beings aren't that cooperative with each other. If everyone with an STD just started to take personal responsiblity and got tested and stopped spreading whatever they have we could get rid of them. It's just rather pathetic that we as people are in 2010 and cant get rid of needless and stupid disease spreading with diseases that even have cures as simple as taking a couple of days of meds. Sorry, STDs and the people who spread them just makes me sooo annoyed sometimes!
Not to attack your opinion, but I feel like you were being a bit unrealistic. Would it be a dream world if everyone could take personal responsibility for their STDs? Yes. But many people don't have the means to do so. Not everyone is thoroughly educated on STDs, a lot of people don't have a place to go to be diagnosed or cured, and some people don't even realize that they have them. One day, we will live in a world where there is a medical cure for herpes, but I doubt we'll ever live in a world where every single human being is TRULY educated about the ins and outs of STDs.
Agreed. And while condoms aren't 100% effective, they are 100% more effective than the "pull-out method."
And sleeping around has nothing to do with it. You can get a STD from one sexual partner (as evidenced by her boyfriend). Safe sex, and getting tested regularly, is the best practice.
The fact that this country preaches abstinence over safe sex to teens is a huge problem. The only people it benefits are the producers of MTV's "Teen Mom."
Agreed to both. And Helen hinted at this but let's not forget that there are some STDs without cures, like herpes.
I could not agree with you more! Teaching our children abstinence over teaching them safe sex is ridiculous! Since the first time my daughter asked me where babies came from I've overloaded the child with the truth, believe me it was more than she had initially wanted to know... I've always been a believer of truth over rose-tinting the world like so many do to their children. My daughter, now 12, is intelligent, informed and wiser than most children I meet... Kids have sex at earlier ages than most people would like to believe and if my daughter decides to make a stupid decision, at least I know she won't do it out of ignorance!! ty Nick, great answer! And almost everyone in the world has a computer? pffft anyway, again, ty Nick
I get what you're saying, but its one's PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY to be educated on sex and STD's if they are going to engage in sex, and to practice safe sex. My school gave abstinence only education, but i educated myself on what I needed to do. I tried out a condom on a banana and everything by myself lol. The internet is free, almost everyone in the world has a computer. Just because some schools dont teach it doesnt mean its not accessible information.
Yes, everyone not spreading STD's is not realistic. I agree with you in that our best hope is just to develop cures for the STDs out there. I was just expressing my frustration for the utter stupidity that STD spreading in this day and age is.
And Cary, even though you can get an STD from only one partner, your risks go way up if the person you're sleeping with is someone you dont know (ie someone who probably doesnt care a super lot about your sexual health), and goes up with each person you sleep with, obviously. Its just a statistical trend thats widely supported, so it does have something to do with sleeping around. Yes, you can get an STD from one person that you know well too, but if you take precautions the chances of getting one from a boyfriend who gets tested are so much less than a string of one night stands with randoms. It would be silly to argue otherwise.
It's unfair to be annoyed with "people that spread STD's" some people might not know they have herpes. Herpes doesn't always fester and might just be in your blood. I think that we have to be less judgmental and realize that it can happen to anyone. Just be educated and careful. Never take a chance and don't have sex with people that haven't been tested. More people are living with Herpes than you think.
Shall we get back to answering this poor girl's question? First of all, having herpes doesn't mean that you are a whore. Do you know how many people have it?! The number is SO high, I personally know 6 people who have it, and there's probably more than don't talk about it.
I've got it, and when I found out I thought I was going to die a sad old lonely woman, and that I was damaged goods and that no-body would ever love me again. Which is simply not true! I have since fallen in love with an incredible man who doesn't mind about it at all! We use condoms, I take my medication when I'm having an outbreak (which gets less and less with time, might I add) and everything is fine! No biggie! Don't let these other commenters made you feel like a lab bunny to be discussed.
Read More HERE. I bookmarked it. 907940