Oh hon. I get where you're coming from on this. It's hard not to worry that everyone will devalue you like that person did. MM is right (on this and everything else). Most guys are not like the guy who hurt you and you deserve to be loved. At this point you need to hear that and explore other things over and over in therapy if you can. I wish you the best.

Oh hon. I get where you're coming from on this. It's hard not to worry that everyone will devalue you like that person did. MM is right (on this and everything else). Most guys are not like the guy who hurt you and you deserve to be loved. At this point you need to hear that and explore other things over and over in therapy if you can. I wish you the best.

You are still hearing those invisible scars, sweetie. You may not realize it but what happened to you a long time ago is still affecting you especially your relationship with yourself and your relationships with men. So please listen to MM.

Yeah, get some counseling. I don't mean to sound like I'm blaming the victim here, but you might be projecting a defensive, standoffish facade that keeps guys at bay, preventing them from becoming too involved - and it's completely understandable, considering what you've been through, but if that is the case then you need to work through it with some professional help.

I have also had to deal with sexual abuse and it will wreak havoc on your emotional life. I had a tendency to "test" men or push them away before I got hurt. Or I would get interested in the emotionally unavailable men that would love em and leave em.

I agree with MM, professional help will help you sort through the emotional wreckage from that raping a hole.

Good luck and the journey is challenging but worth it.

Also, sometimes when a person has been victimized, they (I did) may subconsciously think themselves to not be worth more than that and will subconsciously seek out predators. I came to a point where I decided that it was not worth seeking a relationship after a number of years of being victimized and abused. I hope your situation will have a better outcome.

This is always a painful and affecting thing, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself, don't lose your self value or esteem. I never saw a professional for my problems of a similar nature and I regret it, it greatly delayed the healing process and strained my only true relationship. You're not damaged goods, not broken, you're just hurt and deserve help dealing with what you've been put through. It took me a long time to learn this, but the man I will marry helped me realize and supported me.

I have never posted anything on this site before, I visit this site everyday and this post inspired me to say something. I was raped at 19, it was on my first date, I was obviously a virgin and it wrecked several years of my life. I felt the same way you did and found that I was always dating guys who I liked a lot and thought they felt the same way but after they got what they wanted, they split. I began to feel that I was only a physical object and I accepted that fate for quite some time. I went to some counseling but over time I have found that I had the strength in myself, close friends who listened, and the ability to type out everything I couldn't say out loud in a secret word doc on my computer. Eventually, I found my self worth, realized that I had value and started changing the way I dated guys. If a guy really likes you, he will wait, if he doesn't then you know what he was after. Once I learned that I deserved better in life I also gained the ability to seek out the douches and run, a douche-dar if you will. So, I guess the moral to this story is to find a way to overcome your demons whether that be counseling, friends or whatever. Once you realize your self worth others will as well, its an amazing thing and I didn't realize that's what changed in my life until now. Good luck to you and here's to gaining your douche-dar!!