Why are you going through his phone? That's shady as all get out. Once a woman has decided to indulge her paranoid fantasies, chances are good she's going to find what she's looking for, even if it isn't there.
Frankly, sneaking behind a dude's back and looking through his phone is grounds for a swift dumping. So, no, I would not "confront" him. There are far too many variables you aren't aware of; facts independent of your imagination. And, you know, maybe he's not calling her back.
If he's up to no good, and shenanigans are afoot, evidence of this will present itself eventually without your creepy snooping. Players normally trip themselves up. Wait for the moral high ground before casting aspersions, which make you look crazy batnutters.
Look, a cell phone is like a woman's purse. If my boyfriend were to just start tearing through my purse, I would be seriously angry. If he touched my cell phone without my express permission, I would be equally angry. I have nothing at all to hide, but what is on my phone is none of his business. I would never dare to touch his phone either.
If you feel the need to consistently check up on your guy, than you should probably find a new one. Love (or whatever your relationship consists of) is about trust. If you don't trust him, find someone you can. If you can't possibly trust a man, than you should try to be alone for a while or work it out with a therapist.
Not saying that going through his things is okay, and if it's routine, that's definitely a little creepy. But if someone feels compelled to go through your phone to see who's calling, it's likely not something they're doing out of the blue. If she was suspicious -- and then found something like an ex's repeated calls (which trumps her own shadiness) -- then I say she ought to bring it up. There's obviously already a trust issue there. If the ex is calling and nothing's going on, he probably should have let her know that. Now there are these phone calls. If he hasn't brought them up, that itself is suspicious.
Wow JohnnyBoy, I'm going to have to go with Anna on this one. Good point Anna...if she felt compelled enough to go through his phone, there was probably a reason. It's a big deal that he has not brought the phone calls up...Shadyyyy
Oooo girl, why'd you do that?? Bad, bad move!
If it's because there's something else going on that's causing you to feel insecure about your relationship, it needs to be addressed. Did he cheat on you? Was he still seeing that other girl when you met? If there's an underlying problem in your relationship that's causing you to not be able to trust him, it's probably never going to go away. In fact, it will probably only get worse the longer you stay with him, and it might be best just to split.
BUT, if he's never given you any reason not to trust him, then this is an internal problem you need to fix yourself- and quick! Nobody likes having to explain themselves to their partner- especially when they haven't done anything wrong.
Did something happen in a previous relationship that would cause you to have difficulty trusting guys? You need to realize that your boyfriend is with YOU. Not her. I'm sure if he wanted to be with this girl, he would be. Have a little faith in your man, and a little confidence in yourself. Let her call all she wants. There's a reason she's his EX girlfriend.
If you don't trust the guy you are with, then dump him. Don't go looking for proof that he's not trustworthy, just pull the trigger on it, and dump the guy. I mean c'mon, maybe you have a reason to think he's cheating, which means you don't trust him. And you snooping means that he can't trust you. Your relationship is broken...maybe beyond repair. But you need to fix the reason for the lack of trust. If it's within you because you are that paranoid, seek psychiatric help. If you don't trust him because he's untrustworthy, a cheater, etc, then dump him. Either way, get some help.
Thanks for the advice on here.... I realized that I do have insecurities. I need to cope with and not communicate with my boyfriend on this matter, because he will not trust me like you all say. And he has not gave me a reason to not trust him. Like some of you say on here " if he addresses the phone calls to me" I should have no reason not to trust him. but my boyfriend and I have had this issue where he found out I was going through his phone and I also admitted I have done so. We communicated about it and he was mad, I gave him a loyal and honest reason why I snooped through the phone, He forgiven me and said Please don't do it again. And also said it is a trust issue. I want to respect his privacy, but I also have the insecurites that he is hiding calls, since he wants his privacy. What should I do and how should I feel?
There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with Going through your partners phone. Whats his is yours & whats yours is his. If you think he is cheating I'd ask first. Still think hes cheating then break up with him or investigate but be more mature about it. The way I see it is being super protective over a material thing is a sign of selfishness and immaturity. When you engage in a relationship you lose alot of your privacy, If you have a problem with that don't date. Some of you act like a cellphone is your little toy and you don't wanna share, Well don't share we don't care, But you can take your phone and be single then. When your in a great relationship privacy and certain things shouldn't matter anymore.
okay so i'm in the same situation.
a month or two ago i went through MY boyfriend's phone and saw where he was texting his ex girlfriend (whom he left FOR ME). they were talking and she said she still loved him blah blah. well, he didn't say he loved her or missed her but he asked for a pic (which was conveniently already deleted). it was just of her face apparently but still.
anyway, i confronted him about it and he was PISSED that i went through his phone but he felt bad because he had lied to me about talking to her (i asked him if he'd talked to her lately before i told him i went through his phone).
anyway, he apologized and cried and deleted all the females out of his phone yadda, yadda. i forgave him and went on.
so tonight i did it again. STUPID STUPID STUPID.
he was texting this girl called "Tiff" and talking about hanging out and "we really kicked it that one time at the hotel" and "haha you know u liked it" and "o uh huh u just liked bein wet".
WTF. what should i do?! should i confront him again? i don't want him to be pissed that i went through his phone again, but at the same time, he shouldn't be mad about it, because he should have NOTHING to hide.
anyway, advice?
Emily, you should defently confront him!
dont even worry about him being pissed of about you checking his phone, cause chances are he has cheated on you or is just being dishonest and this is making you pissed off or upset yes? So clearly he didnt care to much to think about your feelings so why should you think about his?
well i had my bf phone cause we have nthn to hide and his ex girl called he knows it hurts he left her a message saying dont call back....i came to his house and I asked him is she still calling he said no when i picked his house phone up to c the number he unpulged the phone.....now its their again today wht should i do....
I believe in love, like the old fashion love. Technology has put a new spin on everything. Before cell phones if you were at your boyfriends house and you were truly tight and trusted one another, if the phone rang and he was in the bathroom he would yell out can you pick that up hon? Or you would say , do you want me to get that? Think about it..........
If my phone was broken and I needed to borrow his phone just to run to the market and it rings I would answer it and he would not care....IF A MAN IS CHEATING HE IS GOING TO BE MAD BEACAUSE YOU CAUGHT HIM...who gives a shit about looking in a cell phone...A PERSON WHO IS CHEATING....stop with the privacy. How about don't sleep with him and stay away from him until you are absolutly sure he is in LOVE WITH YOU..
If you want him you have to dump him...I don't care what kind of fights anyone has over privacy if your sleeping with him giving yourself your heart to him....screw him if he is communicating with other woman that are potential other bedpartners...he's not ringing up any of your friends to get together with the two of you. He's not calling a friend thats married that he new before, he's calling exgirlfriends who are still single and putting new woman that he's met out in his phone while you are giving him your heart and soul. Tell him to stick his phone up his ....and I would erase all the womans phone numbers out of it first so after you leave he's in for a surprise because thats exactly what he's going to head for one of them. And trust me at some point he will call you again because he's a mess.
So me and my guy got into a big argument. We were at a steppers club and guys wanted to dance with me and he said it was alright. Well, anyway by the end of the night he was jelous. He took my cell phone and has had it for 2 days. I am soooo pissed. This is the 2nd time he's taken my phone. I can't keep going through this. I think I'm gonna have to break up with him.
So as I was reaching over to charge my phone (happened to be right next to my bf's which was also charging), I noticed a text from a woman that I have never heard him speak about. It read, 'ok, thanks sweetie'. I've never had reason to believe he was cheating on me but I do believe everything happens for a reason. I am thinking of asking him who this girl is, nonchalantly, of course. I realize if he is cheating, he will just work harder @ it but I am at the point in my life that I don't have time for games. Figure, if I'm up up-front w/ him about this stuff, I have nothing to lose. Wish me luck!
I recently just had this happen to me, its his ex they have been sending dirty pics and texts back and forth a week ago :o( Im so distraught I bawled all day at work, weve only been dating a month and it was his ex before me, I wanted to trust him but something told me to check his phone.. I dont know what to say or what to do.. this has never happened to me before. Hes coming over later to get his phone what should I say? I cant keep this to myself I will go crazy. I care about him but is there any hope on this ending up ok? I dont know..
If I would have never gone through my so called "bf" phone I would have never found out the piece of crap he was, he talked about caucasian women and how they were loose and nasty and blah.... blah... blah... stereo typing. the funny thing is he had pictures of a naked caucasian female in his phone he called his client! UGLY as h e double hockey sticks.. she was like 65 years old. she had a nice body, but she was ugly.. wasn't the only time I found unappropriate things in his phone.. long story short LADIES.. if you find stuff like that in their phone... THEY SUCK! I'm sure they have some decent men out there.. he just wasn't one of them.
I went thru my bfs phone once before and saw he was talking shit on me while I was pregnant to one of his friends that's a girl. I confronted him about it and he apologised. Then I went thru his phone again and he was looking at porn videos and looking up paternity testing for my 3 month old daughter when she looks just like him... I feel like he's always doing shit behind my back ....
say what you want but your instincts will tell you before anything else would. I went/go through my man emails, cellphone and cellphone records...I started doing this when 2 of my friend who were in committed relationship contract some STD that cant be cured and what I found out was with me only for the money.....say what you want but I do it and will do it again and again....