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If a man cheats on his wife with the same woman for 4 years, hangs out with her occasionally, calls her, texts her, etc. (and tries to hide it), does that mean he has feelings for her? If so, why does he stay married?

So here's my question, why is his wife still there? Granted the man should "man up" and stop being a bad husband and stepping out on his wife, but why would she knowingly stay with a man who has cheated for four years and continues to do so. I'm not blaming the victim here either, I'm actually curious...assuming she knows what's going on.

But the reason he probably stays married is because he's comfortable. He's having his cake and eating it too. He has no incentive to move on. It's not like he wants to marry this other woman and she's not putting the pressure on him to leave...obviously. So he's going to keep going until he can't anymore. Given that his wife apparently knows, it's even worse because he's not suffering any consequences even if he is hiding it. In some ridiculous way, he probably feels like that's being somewhat respectful.

Honesly, I feel bad for the wife here and wish her situation was different. No person should be made to feel inadequate by being with somebody who's choosing to maliciously step out on them and engage with somebody else inappropriately. I wish I could come up with a good reason, but the fact is, dude is just selfish and has been given no reason to think he needs to something different. So he'll keep on until he can't anymore. And the wife will stay losing.

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Panama, I always wonder why also. I read an article today about a woman who turned a blind eye to her husbands affairs because of their child and because she loved him. I can't get my head around this. She knew he cheated on her (even with two of her friends) and he knew she knew, but they never spoke about it..out loud..ever. She also wrote that before the first affair - she was always the type of woman who said that if she found out that her husband had been unfaithful she would leave him without question. So maybe unless you are in that situation you really don't know how you would react. I would like to think that if I ever find myself with a husband like that I would be able to leave.

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Amen. We all say one thing, but do the other when it rolls around. Maybe for her...life was good already. Probably cheating, in the end, was a small price to pay when everything else is going well.

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Family is priority. Husbands and wives looking the other way when it comes to their discreet affairs. It's quite civilized and accepted in Europe...
The husband going with two of the wife's friends though and her staying married to him, however, just can not be healthy :(

Tariana

Why is the other woman also content being the "other woman"?

Sigh. I could also not understand the entire concept of cheating. :( I feel bad for the wife too.

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Anna, the submitter of the question, didn't say if the wife knew about it or not.
It seems to me the person asking this question is "the other woman" and is wondering why the man is not leaving his wife for her.

Apparently, based on an article I read, a lot of men don't have the guts to leave wives... And since the mistress is still here after 4 years, why change a situation which works for him!

Katie

I don't know why, but when I first read this question, in my mind, it was the wife asking. I've known women who stuck by their husbands and pretended not to know about their mistresses, when they knew for years.

But either way, I hate reading these questions about women who will sleep with a man knowing he's married, and obviously loves his wife... or at least to an extent anyways.

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