Well, yeah.
Distance.
Time.
Incarceration.
Her husband.
Her lack of reciprocal feelings for him.
Fear.
Illness.
Mental illness.
Lack of confidence.
Wolves.
Bigotry.
War.
Dishonesty.
Religious convictions.
Societal mores.
Self-denial.
Death.
I get what you're suggesting: love always finds a way. I wish that were true, but it's not. Love sometimes works out, absolutely. But it is just as often thwarted despite our best efforts. We live in an imperfect world, and we don't always get what we want. Things don't always work out like we want. Call me a cynic; I'll tell you that I'm being realistic.
That's why it is important to love someone fully when you do have the chance, to be bold and take risks and express your love while you can, because you never know when it might be taken from you. Life is short, and tomorrow is promised to none of us. Neither is love. When you see it, go after it, and when you have it, cherish it.
Thanks for the question.
I am very close friends with this man and his wife. i f ever i am having a problem, they are there for me. we re in this group, and there is this very nice girl in the group that became my friend. she was in the group with them longer than me. she is also quit younger than me. m approaching 40, she, late 20's. we became like sisters, especially because we same similar illnesses, and we are both single and funny. anyway, i have been noticing lately, that my friend (the husband), never really talks with her or does any activity with her. its always me and the rest of us in the group that he gives attention to. i just came, and i am involved in many activities that he puts together. but i rarely ever see him interact or invite her. she's so nice and classy girl, very kind and sweet; never had a boyfriend; not the flirt type. but, he has a very different attitude towards her, and so does she towards him. when i am with him, he never talks about her, although i talk abt her a lot. only his wife and me and the rest of the group likes her. why is she being treated so differently by him?
I rarely see then talking, and when i do they, you can cut the tension with a knife (like they want to get away from each other) They barely look at each other. he seems condescending towards her sometimes. i am not implying that he should spend time with her. all i am saying is, he treats the rest of us, including other females friends, like myself, way better than he treats her. I am asking about this because over a long period of time its becoming obvious. I did not want to make a big deal of it and ask him in case he would be uncomfortable with the subject.
(He's our group organizer)
They slept together, probably. I'm not saying he cheated, it could be ancient history between them, but that's what my guess would be. Then again as I'm not there, I really have no idea.
Those darn wolves can be total romance-killers.
Unfortunately love is no substitute for emotional maturity, perspective,or a backbone. If only it had such power! And love cannot expressed to its fullest potential without them. Every opportunity for true love is just that: an opportunity that must be seized. But many people throw away opportunities for whatever reason. Do your best not to be one of them.
amazingly well said!
You forgot restraining orders.
HAHAHAHAH!!!!
No seriously, I'm laughing. Out loud no less!
Beautiful answer. Love is not enough on its own. Such is life.
Thanks for this Wise-Ass. Very nicely written.
Wolves can be the worst cock blockers.
I can't help but feeling disheartened reading this. And I don't know if I agree, because people say that if a guy really loves you, he'll do anything to be with you, and that's how you can decide if someone deserves to stay in your life or not. By the efforts he'll make to stay in it no matter what.
If a guy really loves you, yes, he'll do anything to be with you, but that doesn't necessarily mean he'll be successful.
When people say that they mean that when a guy says he is breaking up with you, or doesn't want a serious relationship with you because he "can't handle his job and being in a relationship" or "my last break up made me commitment-phobic", that he's just making excuses. If he really cared about you petty stuff like that wouldn't matter.
On the other hand if he truly loves you but is hopelessly addicted to heroin, don't hold your breath. Or, more mundanely, he loves you but is in an LTR and doesn't have the nerve to break up with his girlfriend. Nothing strangles love in its cradle like deep-seated character flaws. While the stuff in my first paragraph is bullshit you should never tolerate, the most tender feelings in a man's heart don't make up for what he cannot do. So I'd give your heroin addict/someone else's boyfriend your number and tell him to call if and only if he becomes capable of the strong, loving relationship you deserve. Then you have to have the will and ability to move on to someone else. It may be hard, but in the long run much less painful than wasting years waiting for a guy to get his act together even if he does love you.
Excellent answer. Things don't always work out the way you think they should or wish they would in spite of what the writers of romance novels and romantic comedy movies would like you to believe. Real life is messy and complicated and involved, not clear and clean-cut and easy.
The idea that love conquers all is just childish nonsense. Love is nothing more than a mere metaphysical concept. It does nothing to change reality. Our actions do. And that's where the limitations start to sink in: factors beyond your control keep you from your heart's desires, or factors that you are completely well aware of have a tighter grip on you than your love.
There is an even bigger list of things than the ones Wise-Ass mentioned that can keep you from the one you love. Go ahead and fight the good fight. But if it doesn't work out, don't assume it's because your partner didn't love you enough to break through the heavens to be with you. For all you know, he really did give it his all, only to find hell on the other end.
absolutely beautiful answer... I would have teared up but Private Dancer is playing in the background and kind of ruined the mood
Ummm...sometimes love is so hard we just give up. I'm involved with someone who likes kink. I don't mind a little to satisfy him, but the thought of it getting out of hand scares me. I'm really not into it & don't want to attend any kink parties. It creeps me out a litttle that he's so into kink and regularly attends the parties. You have to let people be who they are & love them just the way they are, but it can be so hard.. I'm seriously considering just giving up even though I love him and the thought of being without him breaks my heart. Sometimes love just isn't enough.
Hey Everybody, I am in a situation where I think I know what I need to do, but I think time is the only thing that will help.
Okay I met a man through my ex . They are both addicts. So went from one to another, but when we first started dating, things were perfect. He made me feel like a million bucks, sill does, but he is addiced to adds and pain killers, and he has relapsed a few times,. but he wil go through his spurts of wanting to hangout and spend time togetehr, having everything going on between us, feel normal, and nce, but then all of the sudden, he say well i need to focus on me and i cant focus on you while focusingon me. I have heard him say this a few times to me, i know I just need to let him go, nut its hard when yuou have a connection with somebdo since day 1. we get along great, enjoy eachohter when we see eachother but its like a conitnuoius battle, and he thinks i dont undesrtand bc hes an addict. but i d get it, what I dont understand is why cant he do both? continue to stay sober, and spennd tine with me. ya know? trust me, i want him to be sober. he is himself when he is. thats the guy I fell in love with day 1 so i know its possible for him to be sober. Its going to be a lifelong process and i will support him in any way i can. but dont know why he cant just be honest and tell me what he wants
like example, we just spend the last 2 weeks togetehr and it was so nice. all of the sudden, he just said you cant move in and you know i will lose evetytyign that i own and stuff. his whole attitude changes, and then he ll just cut me off for a few days or a week or so then hell come back. its like he knows he loves me, and knows in his heart that he wants to be with me, but he has so much pressure and guilty from other people that they remind jhim that he has to focus 100percent on himself with no distactions or it wont work. so we tried to say we would have 6 months apart and a week later, he came by saying how much he missed me and loved me.....so i dont know if ishoudl just keep going around and around, bc i do lov ehim, and know he feels the same, OR I think I will need to break the cycle and move on. I want somebdoy that wants t send time with me, wants to talk to me.
Has anybody been in this situation? Its so hard bc my friends think Im an diidot and need to let him go. I keep saying it and im sure he does too but he always comes back and maybe that part too. that hell always be there or vice versa..
so I need help with how to let him go, and know that when Im with him, or think anout him, He still makes me feel like a million bucks since day 1 almost 2 years ago... I am still crazzy about him and he is to me too....my gut tells me he is he has told me numerous times that he wants to be the best bf that he can and that i deseve but he cant when he isnt focused on him for the first 6 months and then hel have time for a realatiosnship but it seems like he wants to be with me but is trying to stick to his guns, and try to not talkt o me for as long as he can before he gives in... so what would do you think I should do .....?????? I know what i should do i think leave him and cut strings but its so hard. I am trying to get my life in order too and then maybe we wil meet bak up and if not, it wasnt mean tto be..
I m open for any suggestions, comments, or ideas, or thoughts, opnions. thanks