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If he physically, emotionally and verbally abuses me and its escalating over the years, then he tries to kick me out his house, then later tells me he didnt mean any of it, what is wrong with him? Is he scared of change? Of being alone?

It does not matter what's wrong with him, you need to get out, and you need to get out now.

Please listen to me: You are at risk of being hurt or worse. This is not about something being wrong with somebody, it is about your safety. This behavior could have many different causes, but that's not relevant to your situation.

Call 1−800−799−7233. That's the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. Speak to the counselors there. You do not have to press charges if you don't want to, but you do need to get out for your own safety. Please call; you are at risk.

Related Links:

Another link to The Hotline

Is there any justification for hitting your partner?

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7 Comments

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and you are still with him because..........

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and you are still with him because..........

Sassygirl

Recommend a therapist and get out of this relationship because you're just hurting yourself right now.

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He neither fears change nor being alone. He just wants to be in control.

Very few abusers let the person they are abusing go easily- many of them will cry and beg and promise to change if they see the relationship ending, only to start the abuse almost immediately after the partner comes back/agrees to stay. Speak to a counselor without him knowing and leave with as little confrontation as possible. Take care of yourself.

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So true. I recently got out of an abusive relationship and now even two+ months later, after I've told him not to contact me he still is (unanswered by me of course) because he wants that control back. I'm seeing a counselor because these types of relationships mess with your head and make you think YOU'RE the one with the problem. You can't fix him. For your own safety you need to walk away.

As someone who's been there I hope you take everyone's advice here.

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I want to ask you the same question. You stay with someone who abuses you ... Are you afraid of change or of being alone.

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I was in a similar relationship until about two years ago and I know it is hard to leave. The verbal insults drag you down to the point that you really honestly feel you can't make it alone... financial abuse mean that you often don't have the money to consider leaving and the physical abuse makes you frightened to leave. I'm not going to pretend it is easy... it is not. It is very hard and unfortunately, it continues to be hard for the first couple of months after you leave... but it IS worth it. I have been free from my abuser for two years and I am doing better than ever. I am achieving all the things I always wanted, but felt I was to useless to do. I walk through the streets with my head held up high and it feels great! I don't even recognize the person I was when I with that man. Take the RP's advice... call the number... it will be tough, but well worth it.

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