I don't know. It depends on what kind of thing feels wrong. You don't like the way he eats his pasta, or you think he is cheating on you?
I'm a big believer in trusting your gut feelings, but I also believe in not jumping to conclusions or making snap decisions based on a whim. All you could be feeling is your own insecurity. It's hard to know what to do, isn't it? And then you ask someone like me and he says he doesn't know, either.
My opinion is that you should not bail on your man because of some vague concern. I do think you should keep your eyes open, though. You didn't say how long you've been feeling like something is wrong, but if you have a good relationship despite that concern, the wise choice is to give it time and see if the feeling persists. If something is truly amiss in your relationship, the signs will become more clear with time and you can make an informed decision instead of a stab in the dark.
In simpler terms: roll with it but keep your eyes open.
Thanks for the question.
This question seems like it was tailor made for me. I'm in much of the same situation. I adore my guy to bits and I know he cares for me too, but we're in a LDR and sometimes my insecurities get the better of me. Talk to him about how you're feeling. My guy always seems to know what to say to put me at ease, hmm, maybe that's not such a good thing after all...
I'm beginning to hate my LDR. It's an LDR with a righteously busy man. I'm holding out as best as I could... But it's tiring. *sniff, sniff*
Ditto sister. Sometimes I think it'd be easier to move on than wait around. But we're with these guys for a reason, just stick it out, it'll work out in the end.
Cary's right...stay aware and focus on yourself. I know, harder to do than say. We all get insecure about LDRs, because of what we assume is happening.
The guy can totally feel your insecurity, and it doesn't make him feel very comfortable in the relationship either, as I've been told by several guy friends. We become "co-dependent" on the guy, and validating the success of the relationship by how he responds to us, but it may be that he has had a bad day....OR he could be completely dishonest about something and you can't read his body language on a phone call.
I KNOW the frustration of "not being able to reconcile" your thoughts.
The hardest thing to do, is what we should ALL do.
Focus on ourselves. Not be "selfish", but find things to do with your friends, family, at work, in your community and be part of something. Be involved. You will feel good about yourself and your busy life, and will become more attractive to your LD boyfriend as an independent, strong woman who has a great life that he wants to share.
If you are hanging on his every call, email, text....wondering where he was, is or will be, he will be able to tell in your voice. Instead...be "breezy" and a bit less focused on him...
Believe me...it's super hard to get comfortable with this behavior, but will do you good.
I'm trying to do that now...and it's hard...but it builds your self esteem and gives you a foundation of strength, as it prepares you to deal with the ups and downs of this relationship.
Good luck! :)
It could also be in the writer's head. This last weekend I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and one of them just had a baby and she exclaimed that she's glad that her hubby decided to have a vasectomy after the birth of their child, since she was dreading the prospect of going back on birthcontrol, which she referred to as "crazy pills". She explained that while on one particular brand she became insanely jealous and paranoid - like she started thinking her man was cheating anytime he went on a sales call, and she was insecure around any females he might come in contact with... you know, including things like cousins.
I know from personal experience that when I was dealing with depression I too felt insecure and afraid and was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and squish whatever glimmer of happiness there was in my life... and sometimes it wound up being self fulfilling.
I get that feel. A lot. Like every day. Especially since this is far and away the best relationship I've ever been in, ever. Therefore, something must be wrong. I've never had it this good in life. Guys who look like me aren't even supposed to have relationships, except maybe with their hand, let alone an awesome one.
And, yet, anytime I examine more closely, I find anything I suspected might be wrong, turns out to have been false, just the opposite.
My gut is a pathological liar, me thinks.
I remember awhile back when I asked Cary if I should dump my current boyfriend because something felt weird about the relationship. I felt like he didn't care for me. As usual, he suggested relying on my gut, but he also suggested calling it a bad day and waiting it out. Several more "bad days" passed and finally the wall between us broke. Now I'm certain he cares for me more than anyone has ever cared for me before. I'm glad I asked you, Cary, because I was seriously thinking of leaving my man that day. Seriously, thank you.