Oh, that is one of those things that really rubs me the wrong way. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt to be broken up with, I have been absolutley devistated and heart broken by a break up before, but I consider it a matter of self respect and dignity not to make a scene, no matter where we are.

It may sound a bit crazy, but when he breaks up with me, he has instantly lost the right to see me at my weak moments. Maybe he'll earn that back someday as a friend, but in that moment he's the guy who has hurt me, and I won't give him the satisfaction of being privy to my pain, anger or sadness. And I show him courtesy and reason.

But when a guy is breaking up with me, I can honestly say that I appeciate their honesty in ending things rather than cheating and leading me on because they're not interested in me anymore. The last guy I had a very serious relationship had a tendency to whimp out hen it came to break ups, we had been friends for years so I knew this character trait very well in him. When we first started dating I told him. "I know you, you're scared to death of confrontation, and you've pussy footed around a break up for months before, you will not do that to me. As soon as either of us is ready for this to end it will end, no fuss no drama, and I want you to promise me to be honest about your feelings, and as long as he broke up wit me with respect we could still be friends long after the romance ended. He broke up wih honestly and respectfully, and I thanked him for his honesty, told him i still loved him but respected his descision, and while I still very much wanted to be friends it would take some time before I would be able to hang out with him like we used to. He told me he respected that, and we went on with our lives. About four months later he called me and asked me to coffee, and our friendship has since resumed.

That said other guys have actually bitched to all our mutual friends about how calmly i accepted the break up and said obviously I didn't care about them, otherwise I would have fought harder. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me, and just because istayed collected during the break up, doesn't mean I didn't cry for two hours after with my best friend. Too many times, a guy breaks up as a sort of test, and that's bull, and it pisses me off when i see it.

Nonny - so true.

I have also been acused of being a cold hearted emotionless brick encased closed book when a relationship has ended. Sometimes I almost think it would be easier on my self esteem if I just gave them some kind of reaction, because I find that the less I react, the more they go out of their way to provoke a reaction.. like hooking up with my room-mate two days after we split...or bad mouthing you to mutual friends... or calling you up and telling you they wished you were dead. The more I don't react, the further they go with trying to break me down.

When inside and privately I'm utterly heartbroken and devasted, the last thing I am going to do is make more of a fool out of myself than I already feel by showing any kind of emotion to the person who has caused me all of this pain. It's like... hugging the person who punched you.. i don't get it.

If you were really over her you should be glad that there was no scene.

For some reason I get the feeling that this question was asked by a girl.