Hell yes, you have an obligation to be on your best behavior. As a good friend of mine likes to say, "There is no excuse for bad behavior." She's right.
You can't accept the date and then be a butthole on it. First of all, it's not the poor guy's fault you didn't want to go out, so why punish him? Yes, even if you polite explain that you aren't looking for a relationship and then leave early, it's rude. Maybe he's not looking for a relationship either, but just wants to have a fun time with a nice woman.
If you don't want to go on the date, there's a simple solution: don't go. I know, right?! A revolutionary idea, but trust me, it's the best choice. Tell your kin thanks but no thanks. You aren't obligated to go on the date just because she (no man would do this) arranged it. I'm sure auntie meant well, but it was presumptuous of her to do it without making sure you were comfortable with it. If she kvetches about having to go back to the guy and cancel, too bad--she should have asked first.
If you can't bear to tell her no, if you feel like you have to go on the date because she's family, fine: go, but be nice and try to have fun, like any other date. Embrace your fate--no "I hate this" attitude, no leaving early, no speeches to the guy in the first five minutes about why you don't want to date, how you aren't looking, blah blah blabbidy blah. Guys hate that crap and with good reason. Just roll with it and don't punish the dude, because he is blameless here.
Who knows, you might even end up liking him.
It's like my dad used to say: "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." No, wait, that was Yoda. Dad said, "Jeeeeezus H. Christ, boy, are you sure we're related?" I get those two mixed up. Whoever said it, they meant this: if you can't go and be nice, don't go at all.
Thanks for the question.
"Smack a bitch I will"-love that tag!
Thanks, I saw it on a t-shirt.
My dad used to quote that Yoda line all the time....
Great answer, Cary. If she goes through with her plan, I feel sorry for the guy being fixed up with her. It's cruel and rude to agree to go out with someone and then immediately say you're not interested and leave early. What a disappointment and waste of time for all involved.
In college I fixed up a friend of mine with my brother. Yes, I made sure both parties were interested in and comfortable with the fix up before arranging it. They both seemed excited about going and were looking forward to it. My date and I were going to go on a double date with them. It was a nightmare. This girl I thought was a friend spent the whole evening completely ignoring my brother. She was beyond rude. She blatantly flirted with every other guy around, including my date. I felt really bad for my brother and felt guilty for having ever fixed him up with her. Both my date and my brother commented to me about her behavior after the date was over, so it wasn't just my imagination that she was acting that way. My friendship with her pretty much ended after that night. Unfortunately, she was a coworker, so I couldn't avoid seeing her at work, but I no longer hung out with her elsewhere after that. I didn't arrange any more blind dates for anyone after that either!
Cary is absolutely right. If you don't want to go on the date, tell your relative to call it off. But if you decide to go, please behave yourself and be nice. This guy doesn't deserve to be treated poorly -- he hasn't done anything wrong.
I think you should be open-minded about the whole thing and give it a go. Who knows? He could turn out to be a great guy and if you blow it off, you could be missing a wonderful opportunity to meet someone fabulous. What's one night?
That Yoda. Wise he is.