Uh, no. That seems weird. At the very least, he has a strong attachment to her that he doesn't want to share with you. Even if he just wants to rekindle a close friendship, it's strange that he wouldn't tell you about her.
What does it mean when your husband tells a woman that is only a friend and he hasn't talked to in over thirteen years more about his job than his family?
Sounds like he's trying to impress her. Did he not mention his family at all? Or just not as much as his job? Could be that he's insecure and bragging. 13 years is a long time. Maybe he feels the need to show her, and others from high school, what he has accomplished since gradation. Was it that he didn't talk about his family at all, or just not enough for your liking?
Ordinarily, I would tell you not to worry about something like this and chalk it up to male ego. But these two questions back-to-back seem suspicious. At the very least, he's trying to act like a single guy in front of this old flame. And the "love" in the email is strange for someone he hasn't seen since the late '90s. That says he still has strong feelings for her, even if it's just as a friend. So why is he keeping her a secret?
Finally, how did you discover this? Did you read his Facebook messages? Stop doing that. Go talk to him. Ask him about her. If she is such a good friend, he'll gladly discuss. If he gets cagey, then he's trying to hide her from you for some reason.
Funny, because some of my former female classmates have closed their notes to me exactly the same way, some whom I hadn't heard, seen, or even thought of in decades. Didn't think it was weird, creepy, or meaningful of anything.
i agree, it definitely places on the weird scale. the word "love" is a pretty big one. i always say, people look at the word "love" in two different ways, some people put a lot of stock into it, and others dont, and my eyebrows raise over the types that use that word flippantly. that he is using that word and not discussing it with his wife? i dont like it.
Really, I need to have a discussion with my wife everytime I use or plan on using the word "love"? Craziness.
Why would you stop reading the facebook messages!! If you thought he was up to something and checked his facebook and found that - i say GOOD on ya - for not sticking your head in the sand and for actually cutting straight to it without abiding by these stupid rules to protect someones precious entitlement to privacy. If you're invested in a relationship and you have a suspicion that your partner is up to no good - then privacy goes out the window in my books. I found out my ex was cheating by going through his texts (the first time I ever did..thank god I did) - he made more of a song and dance about me invading his privacy than actually addressing the issue of the cheating itself. If he didn't respect me enough to be loyal to me then why on earth would I respect his privacy?!?! F that. It may be completely innocent- but you won't know until you speak to him. Which I suggest you do. I wouldn't put too much weight in the 'love' thing but the fact that he hasn't mentioned you is a bit shady.
Why would you stop reading the facebook messages? Because it shows you don't trust him. Let's say she has that conversation and finds out it is all innocent. Now, she's ok, but now he's like. . .so, you don't actually trust me. After all, she's been reading his messages for how long now? What else has she been doing?
I would suggest that you stop giving out advice. More likely to end relationships than help them.
If someone has given me reason to doubt them then there is a reasonable explanation as to why I would question my trust in them. If he was to turn around and say "you actually don't trust me" - then surely she can say "well you were messaging a woman i don't know, failing to mention you had a family. Until I spoke to you, from where I was standing it looked pretty sketchy - do you see where I'm coming from?" I'm not telling her to make a habit out of checking his facebook - but if my husband was messaging another woman like this - i'd wanna know what they were talking about.
ummm.... did I miss something?
when I read the letters, I thought they were from the "friend" not the wife. sorta changes the perspective, don't you think?