Music is a sacred thing for most people. Guys in particular often pride and identify themselves by the type of music they listen to; this means they also identify themselves by music they deem ridiculous or horrible. "Ew, you like Train??" or a nice, "Um, why is Daughtry on your iPod?"
Sure, it's snobbery, it probably stems from insecurity and wanting to belong to something that is perceived as cool. We define ourselves by our music choices; it's better than defining ourselves through The Tea Party or Half Life.
That cringe you're referring to in your question is, as you say, a response to the girly flowery artists you name. I'm not saying you should hide your love for Tori Amos, Sara McLaughlin, Ani Defranco, Dixie Chicks, or the Gin Blossoms, just don't lead with that. For guys, dropping an artist name like that is a short hand for: This chick is a sappy, overly-emoting , cat loving, BRAVO addict. Frankly, that scares many a fellow.
There is a sort of "sweet spot" guys are looking for when asking you what kind of music you dig. The sweet spot, be it for rock 'n roll, or let's say, hip hop, means "guy approved," but not intimidating. Guys who rock Black Sabbath want you to like Zepplin. If they like the Stones, you should like the Beatles. If you both like the Beatles, you should prefer Paul to John. If they like Radiohead, you slike Moby. Guys who listen to Wu Tang Clan want you to like Drake. You're Nelly to his Nas.
In other words, they want to know you have taste in music, just so long as it doesn't challenge the credibility or testosterone levels of their preferred artist.
Love,
Funny "Drops of Jupiter" Guy
I have been compared to the girl in Drops of Jupiter by 3 different men. What does that say about me? I'm not sure. I don't do drugs so it's not like I'm trapezing the solar system.
I love all the artists you mentioned with the exception of rap and hip hop. That is just music that I cannot like. However, I will accept Tupac and ONLY Tupac. The man was a genius. His shit made sense.
I can do Metalica but I can't handle Nevermore. I love Cat Stevens (or whatever he's calling himself these days) but Buffalo Springfield can go to hell. I love the Kinks but the rest of Punk music can die twitching. Lola will always have a special place in my heart. I love the Beatles AND the Rolling Stone. I love Black Sabbath AND Led Zepplin. Almost all of classic rock is awesome in so many ways. I love it.
I also love the typical girly stuff. I'm even known to dust off the Spice Girls and rock out (because they fucking rocked and don't you dare disagree with me or I'll slap you hard enough you're momala would feel it!).
I say lead it with music you truly do like that is guy approved and follow with your girly stuff.
The funny thing about being compared to the girl in Drops of Jupiter is that the song was inspired by the death of Pat Monahan's mother.
seriously?
Just say Joan Jett - a chick that rocks... then you can lead into the female influence of rock and roll, paving the way to any girly artists you make also like, citing the Joan Jett influence.
I have to disagree, you like whatever music, you like. Don't try to be something you are not. You love Lady Gaga, tell him. If a guy truly likes you he can overlook your differing tastes in music, the same way you would overlook his. And if he does judge you, its probably because he's a hipster douche.
Not a fan of this answer. I like the Stones, Black Sabbath, and the Wu Tang Clan and see nothing wrong with mentioning this (it's kind of funny that you brought up three of my favorites). No guy has ever seemed threatened by my tastes in music even if it falls to the more "masculine" side of the spectrum. Conversely, I also have a thing for Colbie Cailet (it makes me feel like an island, okay???), A Fine Frenzy, Holly Brook, She and Him, and even Sara Bareilles. All more "girly, flowery" artists, and I've even dated guys who liked some of the above mentioned (okay... not Sara Bareilles... but that is a stretch). Music is the great unifier!
I was born a rocker and I will die a rocker, it's just a fact, when you were born to a metallica junkie, and a queen lover, classic rock and metal are second nature to you, of course my musical tasted o beyond those two bands, but when I'm driving down the highway, I blast avenged sevenfold like there's no tomorrow. I used to look like a rocker, you know band tshirts chunkie boots streaks of color in my hair. I have since grown up a bit and realize that I don't have to dress like that to identify with the music, and it's easier to get a job if I pay more attention to current professional fashion, and it's also been easier to get a date. Don't get me wrong, I haven't lost all my edge, the nose ring goes in right after work, and I still take out the boots to go to certain clubs on the weekend..............but the point is, you shouldn't deny your music, it's yours! If you love Brittney I salute you, and alot of guys expect you to like girly musi, sometimes its harder to love metal, because it can freak a guy out, but you will date all kinds, and if your music is important to you then find a guy who says, "ya spice girls were cool, not really my thing, bu i respect that" We all know he hates them, but atleast he's gets that everyone has there own tastes...
Yeah /never/ got what the big deal is here. If the music they like is so dumb that I can't stand it, chances are I can't stand them to begin with. But maybe I'm just more snobby all around. xP
I hate music snobs. If he judges you on your music, I'd reconsider the relationship because those snide comments about your music taste and need to control what you listen to will just get more annoying with time.
In music, there might be disagrees, but there'll ALWAYS be some (okay, maybe just one..?) artist that would both of you would love.
I'd say go for the classics first, those that define the kind of music you like, the music that no one could reply "Ew, really?". No one disagrees with Tracy Chapman, Nina Simone, the Beatles, Ben Harper (wait, my boyfriend does, but I make him discover so many others that he just passed through it), Buena Vista Social Club...
Or do the total opposite: talk about groups that people usually don't know : Ben l'Oncle Soul (a French soulman that rocks), Adele, Beirut, Caravan Palace, Mayra Andrade.. He'll be astonished you know things he doesn't, especially when it's in his musical tastes...
well of course you must like the artists you mention, no need to say..
If you pretend liking something/someone you don't, then if the person discovers it, he/she might think you pretended the same for other things too...
Um.. Just be honest - unless your favorite "artist" of all time is Kesha or a former Disney star, you should be just fine. I'd rather someone be real to me than someone trying to impress me.
I usually say "my current picks are...", because honestly, choosing an all-time favorite is hard. Take the 'High Fidelity' road and stick with a top 5.
Personally, if I was out with someone and the only band or artist she mentioned was someone overwhelmingly girly, I'd be a bit turned off. The kind of music someone listens to says a lot about them.
Of course, just because one artist is your favorite doesn't mean that the guy won't like the other artists you listen to, so name a few. There's bound to be something you have in common.
Name a few artists! There very well could be something you have in common. Just because your date doesn't like your absolute number one pick doesn't mean he won't like the other artists or bands you like.
Hand him your iPod and let him look through your library. It's fun. I've done it on dates and the girls have offered to let me look through theirs too.