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If you're pregnant, can the man's penis hit the baby during sex?

If the guy is really large, yes. You know when the mom feels a kick in her stomach? That's the baby getting revenge for constantly getting whacked in the head during intercourse.

Here are some other things that are 100% absolutely true:

-- Saran Wrap works just as well as a condom.

-- If you think you're pregnant, eating tons of spicy food will take care of that problem right quick.

-- You can't get pregnant during a full moon. Though if you have unprotected sex during a full moon, you will turn into a werewolf.

-- Babies are delivered via storks during their off-hours from the pickle spokesperson business.

-- Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Chupacabra are all real and live together in a condo in Phoenix. Bigfoot makes a delightful spinach artichoke dip every year on Super Bowl Sunday.
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18 Comments

LadyFace

For those who never took a health class, the penis enters the VAGINA. Babies grow and develop in the UTERUS. Different parts of the anatomy, geniuses.

Nick Nadel

What Ladyface said.

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It's also worth noting that the cervix, or the sphincter between the vagina and the uterus is incredibly sensitive. If your guy has ever bumped it, it probably hurt. If something pokes through it, it hurts enough to cause fainting. Even something as wide as a toothpick (ie. getting an iud inserted) generally hurts like a mofo, though the effect is lessened after giving birth.

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FYI, a healthy cervix is not sensitive unless there is an inflammatory process going on (PID - pelvic inflammatory disease, for example). Also, when an IUD is inserted, the physician has to dilate the cervix a bit, hence the pain. It does not just hurt to hurt, trust me. If you, or anyone you know, complains that sex is painful, and that pain seems to be coming from inside the vagina, it should be checked out by a skilled practitioner.

I am a nurse, a mother, and I have an IUD, so I think I am a pretty reliable source.

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just in case people get confused, the above listed by nick are NOT TRUE.
please don't do those stupid things to help humanity.
nick is trying to be sarcastic, okay?

rxy

Ha ha ha I'm pretty sure this question was by someone on "Teem Mom" and/or someone who hasn't been to a doctor in a looooooong time!

Time to use the internet (or try picking up a book, they may smell funny and you may have to use your brain but they are usefu!) and search for answers!

duh!

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Hey! Just so you know the Saran Wrap condom thing didn't work, I'm working on the spicy food thing and /that/ is why I have a craving for fresh meat!

Nick Nadel

Maybe I should add a sarcasm tag. Don't try this stuff at home, guys!

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I tried the saran wrap thing and got pregnant. I then tried the spicy food thing and nothing happened. Now I'm now craving spinach artichoke dip. Do you have Big Foot's number?

Shawna

wow some people dont get sarcasm...i think it needs to be in the tags......but in all honesty i took a sex ed class in 8th grade an knew the answer from that i think people need to go back to school

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All my kids had dents on the top of their heads when they were born. In fact, my second kid had a cone shaped head for being in my pelvis too long. She turns 5 today and I am happy to report that her head is perfectly shaped - no dents, no cone.

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Don't know why I'm still surprised by the utter stupidity out there! Although I've teased my son that he has knots on his head from sex when I was pregnant..he at least knows I'm kidding! And he only had the 8th grade sex- ed class too! Sarcasm is great, but not for the mentally challenged! They just don't get it!

miss amanda

If you don't know the answer to this then you shouldn't be having sex or getting pregnant!

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Come on people. There is a difference between stupidity and ignorance. If this person has not been educated about the facts of life, so to speak, and they were asking this question genuinely, it isn't kind to make them feel like a moron. Nick's answers were funny but some of you were just mean about it.

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I have to say that for the past few of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this blog. Keep up the great work.

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I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this blog. Keep up the wonderful work.

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You guys are suppost to be helpful not childish ok so grow up and show some respect because you not helping

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