Ask questions. When he talks, listen. Don't just wait to talk. When he's finished talking, ask more questions. This may seem like basic stuff, but you're probably going to need to dial it down a notch to get him talking. When he's finished, add something to the conversation that isn't about yourself. Allow him to ask questions about you instead of volunteering information. Instead of trying to steer the conversation towards yourself, allow him to discover new things about you. If he's interested, he'll want to learn more. And, above all, surprise him. Show him that there's a softer side under your brassy exterior.

Of course, you shouldn't completely censor yourself. If he's joining you for a nice spot of tea, it's safe to say he finds you intriguing. Your outspoken personality is what attracted him to you in the first place. Don't feel like you have to pretend to be Miss Demure Wallflower or anything. There is nothing sexier than a funny, outspoken, boisterous woman. But going from, say, 10 on the volume/self-involved scale to 7 will make a huge difference.

We extroverts can always stand to tone it down a little around the quiet types since our natural tendency is to amp up the volume lest there be an awkward silence. (Yes, geeks can be extroverts.) It's an anxiety thing, really. We think the other person's silence means they're bored, when, in fact, they just don't feel the need to constantly take up all the air in the room.

Realizing you need to work on yourself is the first step. Now it's time to show interest in someone other than yourself. Draw him out of his shell and keep the conversation bubbling. If he clams up, crack a joke or bring back an earlier conversation topic. One of the rules of improv comedy is to always make your scene partner look good. If they look good, you look good. This also holds true in dating. Good chemistry is all about the back-and-forth; the spark that comes from playing mental ping pong with a fun, sexy, witty person. If you're sending your partner non-stop verbal volleys without allowing them to respond, you're just playing with yourself. (No pun intended.)

Give the guy the occasional conversation "in." Don't feel like you have to talk the entire time to keep things interesting. Pick a few choice things about yourself to share, and let him discover the rest. If you throw everything about yourself at him at once, he could get overwhelmed. Let him take the conversational reins every once in a while and see where it goes. Hopefully by the end of the evening you'll realize that, while you've barely talked about yourself, he still knows a lot about you.