I strongly recommend not dating someone nearly three times your age. In fact, strongly isn't strong enough. I am begging you to not date someone nearly three times your age.
Dating someone that much older is going to isolate you quite a bit from your friends. Do you think a 52 year old will want to go to a house party with teenagers? Or head down to West Palm for spring break? Would you ever get used to the stares and (I'm being honest) ridicule that you'd get from holding hands with someone that some people might think is your grandfather?
I'm a bit concerned for you, truth be told. You were fired from a job and you're considering giving your number to a guy that is likely older than your parents. Are you close with your family? Do they have any thoughts on this situation? I hate to be an overly boring voice of reason here, but I kind of need to be the overly boring voice of reason. Please take a long, hard look at your situation and think about whether or not you're happy.
Good luck, and please make a good choice here.
DONT. DO. IT.
I have daddy issues and use to be attracted to older men all the time, but I NEVER let it progress. All in all, age doesnt matter as long as both individuals have similar personality, lifestyle, and/or maturity level.
But youre 19. 52 is waaay too old for you. Even 40 year old women find men in their 50s to be too old for them (I know, what?), but think ahead instead of the now. When youre 29 he will be 62. Can he keep you happy long-term? Can you accept being is caretaker in the long-run? Will you stay attracted to him as he ages? Do you guys want the same thing, exclude the sex and attraction and I bet you guys have nothing in common.
Dont. Do. It.
Good answer & I agree with your advice. The one thing I found amusing about this was the bit about "even 40 year old women..." As if once a woman is 40 she should be grateful for the attention of men of any age! For a woman at 40 to date a man in his 50s, we're still talking 10-20 years age difference.There can be a huge difference here, physically, sexually, socially, career-wise... emphasis on the word *can* of course, since it also *can* work just fine. But the implication that 40 year old women somehow aren't allowed to be picky anymore--kinda ridiculous!
I hope the intended implication was more along the lines of "when you're19, 40 and 52 don't look very far apart" rather than "a 40 year old woman should be grateful she gets any attention at all". I din't even read the latter into it, until I read your cooment. But I can see it, I just hope its not what was meant.
I agree. Don't. Do. It. I threw away three years of my life starting at 25 on a guy who was 50. I was so in loooooove. Yes, he was worldly and had lived all over Europe and travelled and he was a sailor and we hung out on beautiful boats. Yes, he was a lot of fun. Yes, he spoke several languages. But I can't even begin to tell you the career and life opportunities I missed out on while being with this guy -- the one thing he was NOT was mature. It was like dealing with a perpetual teenager and that's what eventually drove me away. Even if this guy would go out with you, there's something fundamentally wrong with HIM that he would be attracted to someone your age. Trust me on that.
And yeah, it's time to look at YOUR life, and start thinking strategically. What do you want to do with your life? There's a whole fascinating wonderful world out there waiting for you that you can't possibly conceive of. Getting fired from a job is not the way to go about things. If you don't like your job, or it's a bad fit, or whatever, suck it up, give two weeks' notice and leave with a good reference.
The number one reason to avoid this guy is that any 52yr old man that goes for a 19yr old is a jerk. He's not looking for long-term love, he's looking to get laid by a hot 19 year old.
And you, are you looking for long-term love? Because let's calculate that: 19 to
52. 29 to 62. 39 to 72. That means when you're 39, ready to be married and have kids, you're going to instead be nursing an old man. Do you really want to be changing your boyfriend/husband's bed pan when you're only 39??? That's something that two 72 year olds should do for each other.
You'd literally be throwing your life away if you date this guy seriously. You would quickly become a nurse instead of a girlfriend. OR you'd just dump him because you're no longer attracted to him.
Now, all that aside, if you just want to go on a couple of dates with a suave older guy, and maybe hook up, then fine, more power to ya. But please please please keep yourself in check and keep this from becoming an actual relationship. Anything beyond a couple of dates and a hook up is bad news.
In all fairness she is the one with the crush, not her. In fact, in my experience it is most of the time the young woman who has the crush on the older man and even makes the first move. Yet almost always it's the older men who are immediately labelled jerks or even pedophiles even though they never done anything and as if they can help who finds them attractive (not saying you've quite done this here).
And having your first kid at 39??? You've been on Guyspeak for a while, I've seen your comments going back far in the archives, you know as well as I that many women already want commitment by mid to late 20s and their upset they can't find any guys likewise ready. Not to mention there's much more risks to the baby if a woman has her first child after 35.
I don't know who you are - Ms. Reply - but you got this down. I'm almost 27 and I can see it for myself. I have everything I had to work for, but the men -boys, guys in their '20s just don't keep up.
OK, 19 ain't 27, but let her do what she wants. If a 50yo man is a creep, and a 20s'guy is a creep, you have two creeps. And all I'm meeting are gross boys or gay/confused guys. I thought is was just here but it's all over the country now. Maybe the older man is widowed, or is fussy, or immature or an ex con but you don't know if you don't go out. Besides, most ax-murderers don't ask for dates, at least not on Criminal Minds. . . .
What's the difference?
I'm 19 and I love older men in there 30,40 and 50s there's just something about them , they have so much knowledge and I find they can help you figure things out before you have to regret anything.
I completely understand that it's a massive age difference and that perhaps it can't be a long term thing but why not have some fun discover what you want in a guy and what you don't want.
What's to lose and what can you gain either a good relationship together and later in life a good friend who truly does love you for you.
Not all guys are looking to get laid , speaking from experience was complete oppsite he was more interested in my education, well being and happiness.
Which most guys in 20 and late 30s are looking only to get laid.
^^ do what makes you deep down happy and don't care what other people think because its YOUR LIFE and your happiness is the only thing that matters!