Sure, there are plenty of people who do that, mostly for religious reasons. That said, I think you're being a wee bit hasty in assuming you have a celibate life stretching before you.
First of all, you're 22. It's not like there's a timeline for these things; everybody grows emotionally at their own pace. If you want it, it's there; if you don't, nobody's going to force it on you.
Secondly, it's worth asking yourself if you're holding yourself back in this regard. Is it just that you've worked too hard at other things, and don't have the time, or is there something you're avoiding? Do you feel like you just don't click with the men you've met, or is there something that keeps you from clicking with them?
It sounds like you're not happy about this situation, from your phrasing, so think hard about what you really want and what your previous history has been like. And, remember, there's no time limit on this: take your time and figure out what you really want, then go get it.
Don't shut yourself down just yet - always have an open mind and an open heart.
You're too young to give up! Take Dan's advice! If you don't give yourself a chance and put yourself out there, you'll never see what wonderful guys may have given you a chance!
Wait until you're 25, still never done anything with a guy, and being tortured by being a bridesmaid for the 7th time. Welcome to my life. Don't give up, and be a cynical girl like me. It'll only make it harder to meet people. :'( good luck. I hope things get better for you.
Wait until you're 25, still never done anything with a guy, and being tortured by being a bridesmaid for the 7th time. Welcome to my life. Don't give up, and be a cynical girl like me. It'll only make it harder to meet people. :'( good luck. I hope things get better for you.
Wow! its like I could have written this myself only im 23. Nonetheless, I've been pondering this very thought lately. It just seems like no one ever likes me enough. But I will take your advice and figure out what is it that I really want and keep an open mind.
Ok, I'm a few years younger than you. Nonetheless I felt like this for an incredibly long time. My friends were all a lot quicker when it came to guys and it made me feel inadequate and disgusting. Of course it got harder as time passed, being older than before and still making no progress. Sometimes I still feel like that same girl, insecure and wondering if anyone will ever want her. But I definitely feel it a lot less now that I do have experience.
My advice? I know people are probably going to slate me for this, but it worked for me and I'm glad it happened. Get drunk. Not competely out-of-this-world, but yes, get a little tipsy, it's a lot easier to take risks. I'll tell you about my first kiss: he had approached me the night before and we talked. The following day I ran into him again and he said he was going to the common room. (this was all in a hostel) When I got there, it turned out he was sitting in the other common room. So after a few beers I went over to him. Later that night we kissed. It might sound incredibly insignificant but to me going over to him was a very big deal. It made all the difference for me. Hope this helps :)
Thank you for the advice. I don't think getting drunk is a bad idea. I'm not quite lucky enough though to have a guy show any interest in me, not even having a guy approach me just to talk. I think if anything like that happened I might go with the alcohol option or I might be desperate enough not to need any liquid courage.
Ah, that's the problem. Pretty simple to solve: don't wait for them to approach you. Approach them instead.
I wish it was that easy. I just get guys being annoyed or disinterested when I approach them and try to start a conversation.
Hi, I'm the one who asked this question. I'd like to thank everyone for their responses, I really appreciate the help. I just wanted to say that I'm not religious, and that that has nothing to do with my situation. I'm not like this by choice. I haven't been too busy for a boyfriend and I'm not avoiding anything. I have figured out what I want, I've had time due to my unemployment to do lots of thinking. It might be even tougher when you do know what you want out of life but can't seem to get any breaks or opportunities, or even anyone to give you a chance.
I have put myself out there, especially in high school, but guys just seemed grossed out by me and completely disinterested. In college all the rejection made me basically go into hiding for a couple years. About a year ago, a couple months after graduating, I've tried online dating, but that has taken a huge toll on my self esteem so recently I've decided to stop. I think physically I just repulse guys. I know looks are very important and most guys want a size 2 not a size 10. It's tough not getting any sort of attention from any guy ever. I think at this point due to my lack of any sort of interaction with the opposite sex, I'm beginning to develop some sort of fear towards men.
Even though I'm just 22, I've come to realize that maybe I'm just one of those people that have to be alone. It's tough seeing everyone else coupled up, but I'm learning to deal with it and let my dreams of being in a relationship go. I'm optimistic that I'll be able to get better and more comfortable with the idea of being single for life.
Sorry for the rant.
Ah, hun, don't give up. Trust me, I've been down that road. I'm 30 (as of a month ago lol) and have finally found my partner little over 2 years ago and he's the fourth guy I've ever (willingly) been with. I spent most of my 20's in your shoes, thinking that I was meant to be alone forever, yadda and blah. And I'm a bit of a 'skinny' miss and have had many guys hit on me (jerks naturally). That's the loneliness talking, making you feel like you're not worth it. But you are. That's the first thing you need to know.
You ARE worth it. Worth a decent guy who cares for you, loves you regardless of your outside and sees the awesome person that you are. Sometimes, it takes time to find it. I had given up several times in the love department and I've actually found mine when I had offically given up on looking. I was done with online dating and looking in general and only meeting douches and jerks who made me feel like I was the worthless one, not them. I've learned that in the love game, it'll work out in its own way. Rushing it tends to cause problems and what feels most natural tends to work out amazingly well. I will happen for you hun. And you have a lot of time to get there. No one HAS to be alone. That's a choice.
But first, you gotta be okay with you. If you really can't look at yourself and be happy and comfortable with you, it does show in how people see you. I'm not saying get surgery or wear make up or dress like a skank. I wear men's shirts and jeans and my man says I'm sexy and hot. Caues thinking you're 'repulsive' is like carting a dark cloud over you that people see. Kick the dark cloud to the curb and just be you. Do things that make you happy and trust me, people will notice.
I'd say, just forget about the whole situation, and focus on getting a life. Take up a new hobby, start going to the gym maybe, make friends you can party with, make sure you always have something to do and don't have time to sit at home. Live life to the fullest. If you get to the point where you enjoy your life as is, all of this won't matter anymore, people will feel your energy and will want to be around you.
I've learned this the hard way, and way too late, but 22 seems like the perfect time to start.
I'm 24, and I'm currently dating my very first boyfriend; we started dating only 3 months ago. I have been in your situation, and I know exactly how you feel. Trust me, it will come eventually, and it might be when you least expect it.
The only reason I even met my boyfriend is because of a mutual friend. Maybe try asking some friends if they know any guys that they can set you up with. It's worth a shot, anyway.
I have sort of hinted at it to my best friend, but she told me she doesn't set people up. She also doesn't let me meet any of her friends, and I'm always the last to meet her boyfriend (the one she has now I met 8 months after they started dating), so I think it might be another issue altogether, since I'm pretty sure she has set other people up. Thanks for your advice though.
That doesn't sound like what a best friend should be doing at all...When I started dating my boyfriend, I couldn't WAIT to have him meet my best friend.
I guess me and my friend just aren't really that close anymore, though she still is my best friend and has been since 9th grade. I think the problem is that she's secretly embarrassed by me and that's why she doesn't want me around her friends and boyfriend. She's the only friend I have so I'm not really in a position to complain.
Sorry to say this, but in that case your problem is not the guys. Get out there and start making some friends. It's going to sound harsh, but if everyone finds you annoying, you most probably are. You might want to do something about that first.
Now, I've been known to be wrong but It sounds to me like a weight issue. Don't crucify me, people. I'm chunky too.
How I see it, you can do one of two things. Say screw it, accept yourself the way you are and find a man who does as well. (Plenty of guys prefer chunky girls)
Or, diet. I lost 50lbs recently and it made a world of difference in the way I feel about myself.
Also, maybe you just Dont believe when guys say they're attracted to you. Some guys will say anything to get a girl to smash so thwart the horn dogs by getting to know a guy first. Dont make him wait forever though. And for heavens sake, STAY OFF THE INTERNET. The internet is full of: porn with barber dolls, men with the power of said porn at their fingertips. Dont waste your time vying for the approval of men who have spent so much time fapping in their bedrooms they have an unrealistic image of what real women look like.
Rant complete. :D How I see it, you can do one of two things. Say screw it, accept yourself the way you are and find a man who does as well. (Plenty of guys prefer chunky girls)
Or, diet. I lost 50lbs recently and it made a world of difference in the way I feel about myself.
Also, maybe you just Dont believe when guys say they're attracted to you. Some guys will say anything to get a girl to smash so thwart the horn dogs by getting to know a guy first. Dont make him wait forever though. And for heavens sake, STAY OFF THE INTERNET. The internet is full of: porn with barbie dolls, men with the power of said porn at their fingertips. Dont waste your time vying for the approval of men who have spent so much time fapping in their bedrooms they have an unrealistic image of what real women look like.
Rant complete. :D