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Wise-Ass

 
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I'm 42, my BF is 45. We've been dating 5 months and we're not having as much sex as I would like. Our long weekends together are fun but I'm lucky if we do it once. He doesn't respond when I initiate and ignores my hints. Is this even fixable? Is it our ages? Please help me. I'm on fire and he's snoring away.

Silly man. He doesn't know how good he has it. What a waste.

I gotta ask: has it always been this way, or is this a recent development? Could it be that he's stressed out or depressed about something? Is he taking medications that might affect his drive? There are many reasons people lose interest in sex, and yes, age can be one of them. Sometimes, though, the loss of interest is situational, the result of external factors in a person's life. That's why I ask if his loss of libido is a new development and possibly the result of some unusual circumstances right now. If it is, it could very well pass.

If not--if this is just how he is and has always been--then no, it is not fixable. We all have different sex drives, and you will never be able to make him want sex as much as you do. People are just built differently, and there's nothing you can do about it. What about Viagra, some might ask? It won't work; it doesn't make a guy horny, just gives him the ability to perform once he is horny. Your guy doesn't seem interested in doing the deed more often, and taking ED drugs won't change that. They don't create a desire for more sex.

You didn't ask me what you should do, so I won't tell you. The unfortunate fact is that at his age, unless there are unusual circumstances in his life right now, his sex drive isn't likely to change. Whether or not you can live with that is up to you. A vibrator can help a little but it's no replacement for intimacy.

Thanks for the question.

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2 Comments

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His friken' age? He's only 46!!!! Men should still have a VERY healthy sex drive at that age..............I am older than that and I will go shoot myself if men lose interest by 46. Yikes, how depressing!! Unless, of course, like wise-ass says, his sex drive was always low. That, however, would have nothing to do with age.

Katatawnic

He wasn't saying that 45 equals a non-healthy sex drive. I think he simply meant that by the time someone is 45, who they are and what makes them tick has already been long established, and therefore it is not fixable. Barring unusual and/or extenuating circumstances, of course.

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