Ready for the truth? You are absolutely normal and healthy in every respect.
Let's take it from the top: a lot of girls are your height and size, and trust me, that's only a roadblock if you allow it to be. You're only 20, it is not remotely too late for you to have a boyfriend. And no, being a virgin won't be a problem, because most of the guys hitting on you? Virgins themselves.
Taken overall, I'm guessing this is partially a confidence issue and partially a being too passive issue. So try the following:
- Find a few activities you really like and stick with them. Volunteer groups, tutoring, hobby clubs, even getting a job where you meet a lot of people. The point is, get out and meet some guys that you have something in common with.
- Actually talk to guys. I'm guessing you don't start many conversations: changing that alone will reverse your luck quite a bit. Here's the thing people don't realize, a lot of guys, especially around your age, have absolutely no idea what the hell they're doing when it comes to dating. A girl talking to them is a huge relief.
- When you find a shared subject, something you both want to do, ask him out. Not as in "Wanna go on a date?", as in, if you're both talking about a movie you want to see, tell him you're seeing it at 9 o'clock on Sunday, and ask him if he'd maybe want to catch it with you.
Yeah, putting yourself out there is scary, emotionally. But we all had to do it: every guy on here, every commenter, everybody you know with a boyfriend. But the more you do it, the easier it gets. Get out there and good luck!
I'm 5'0 and I'm a size 12 also, and I would say that this hasn't held me back at all. I think your real problem is confidence, you think that guys will not find you attractive because of your size and that isn't true at all.
Also you're only 20, who says that you need to loose your virginity right now. People get caught up in the hype of I'm however old, and I'm still a virgin. I say good for you, having sex can be very emotional and you want to make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons. Also if a guy has a problem with you being a virgin he's a douche-bag and you need to run in the opposite direction immediately.
Men can also smell low self-esteem and desperation a mile away. So I honestly say forget about guys for right now and focus on yourself. Like Dan said do things that make you happy and that get you out there meeting new people, men and woman. It's usually when you're focused on other things in your life that men start coming out of nowhere.
Keep your head up girl. You're young so enjoy this part of your life. There are so many unique experiences that we (I'm 22) can only have at our age, so enjoy them. Men will always there, but this time won't.
Best of Luck!!
WOW nd i thought i was the only one... well im 18 nd never had a bf... i do get hit on guys nd they r always asking if i have a bf but never really ask me out im always trying to look good and stuff but from now on im defenatly going to careless about the whole dating situation and concentrate on myself and what i like to do!! Thanks Dan and Jlove!
Wow- a year ago (I'm 21) I was in your exact position. I was really concerned about not having dated, and while I was always flirting with guys, I never actually went out with them. Then I realized that I was constraining myself to guys I knew well and were friends with, so I decided to flirt more with random guys and give my number to any non-creep that asked (or I felt like offering it to!). I met some really awesome guys, and am now dating a guy I met at walmart... Also, I've noticed that guys in college (or at least the one I'm at) seem to be more about the random hook up than an actual relationship. You might want to look at some older guys (maybe grad students if you're an undergrad?)
And as far as the virginity thing, JLove is totally right. Any guy that has an issue with it OR presses to move faster than you want is an ass and not worth your time.
Have fun, and don't get too caught up in wanting a relationship!
OMG!!! DO NOT WORRY!
I didn't get my first BF until I was 23, and that was the year I lost my virginity too. It totally didn't matter that I was a virgin, actually the guy was honored I picked him. My motto always was; do not settle - you will always remember your first so you better make it count.
Also, size is all in your head. Just be confident and the guy will love it. Even if you don't feel confident, just act it. It works!!!
You are completely normal. At least you are not like most young girls out there now that will sleep with anything and everything!
Sweetie, I am 21 and didn't have a boyfriend till I was 20 and was a virgin until then. The most important thing is to actually like the person you are with and trust the person you decide to have sex with. Trust me, there is nothing wrong with you. This stiff happens when you least expect it. I know you've probably heard this before, but trust me, it's true.
Thanks, everyone for being so encouraging. I'm 20 going on 21 and never been in a relationship either, and sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me. So thanks guys! =)
Don't be so worried about what others think! I'm 27 and a virgin (by choice) and I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 21 and that only lasted 6 months and have been single since (not that I haven't dated, just nothing long term). Your value or beauty as a person has NOTHING to do with your relationship status! Value your relationships with your friends and family and enjoy what you have now. Keep in mind that when you are single you can do what you want when you want to so enjoy roadtrips and concerts with friends! I know it's hard at times (all but one of my close friends are married with kids) but remember that people in relationships can also feel lonely and unloved too. I would much rather feel alone and feel lonely than be with someone and feel alone. Wait for a guy who will make you feel like the beautiful, special lady that you are! It will be worth it!