Yep. Darned right you should feel guilty.
Your Mom doesn't like you getting drunk. Could be lots of reasons. Maybe she hates to see her little baby all grown up. Maybe she is jealous of your freedom. Maybe she has a problem with the bottle. Who knows, and, bluntly, who cares.
You are living at home, and I presume they are still supporting you while you attend university. Ain't a lot to ask that you respect their ground rules while you do so, is it.
It isn't as if they are locking you up and only letting you out for classes. You still get to go out and have fun, just, well, don't drink so much.
I'm all for respecting your parents, but what about when you're 21, paying rent while going to college, and have a midnight weekend curfew still, like I had in the not too distant past? I just toughed it out, their house their rules and all, but I felt it was a little extreme, especially considering I never came home drunk or anything. I understood not coming home late during the week, since my dad went to work early and needed rest, but I didn't like not being able to blow off a bit of steam Saturday night.
Your mom cares enough about you to worry about your well being, you need to respect her wishes while living under her roof, yeah your dad may be chill but when he has to bail you out for underage drinking I'm sure you'll see a whole different side.
I agree with Amy. Respect their wishes. And stop drinking when you're underage, that's one of the stupidest things I've heard someone admit to. Yeah, you should feel guilty that you're out, drinking underage and then expecting your parents to be totally fine with it.
Depends on the laws where you live. Here the drinking age is 19. But, I agree - their house, their rules.
Yeah, the fact that she called it university, as opposed to college, makes me think she's not from the US.. You're of age at 18 where I'm from, so don't just assume..
Anyways, am I the only one who finds her mom a bit harsh? Assuming OP is of age, I think it's a bit unrealistic for her mom to believe she'll NEVER drink.. But yeah, I guess her house, her rules.. So why don't you just crash at a friends house after the occasional night out? You get to drink, and your mom gets to not see you drunk. Win win, no?
i live in the us and if it's a university it's a university. and it's not harsh, people who's parents give them rules as such raise children who know how to follow rules and succede in life.
9 times out of 10 parents who let their children drink underage while comfortably living off of them raise children who dont do as well as children who's parents had them following rules and finishing school.
it's the parents house, it's the parents rules.
fyi, not everyone live in the US under your silly 21 year old alcohol age.
Maybe it has to do with how she is getting home. If she is driving home while kind of drunk, her mom has every right to be upset. If this is the case, we should all be thanking her mom for trying to keep others safe as well.
Stop feeling guilty. You are a young adult able to make your own decisions and your mom has a right to her opinions. This is an opportunity to learn to set your own healthy boundaries and an opportunity for her to realize you are an adult. However, it is their home. Talk to them and establish ground rules. It is their home and if you don't like their rules you can always choose to live somewhere else.
If ur drinking then do it responsibly or then you shouldnt be drinking at all. don't drive drunk have someone sober drive you, if you can sleep over a friends house than thats a plus but not just any friend someone you trust, make sure you dont drink on an empty stomach, and if u need to hide your drinking breath to avoid ur mom getting mad then do so, theres gum and mints and food, dont act careless towards ur moms feelings... eventually when ur older shell be more open about it but till then u just have to deal with it..
If you're in the US and under 21, just quit drinking until you're legally allowed to drink. If you are legally allowed to drink, have a talk with your mom and ask her what about your drinking bothers her so much. While in the end it does indeed boil down to her house her rules, as you are both adults you should be able to resolve conflict and set boundaries like adults. Address whatever her concerns are, and hopefully you can come to some kind of accord.
Very easy solution, don't get home early enough for them to be awake. Or spend the night at a friends house as someone suggested. Or get really really wasted a few times before you go home. They will be happy to compromise on a reasonable level afterwards. Might take a few months though.
you live at their house, you live by their rules. you wanna get drunk? move out. figure out what's more important to you, easy living so you can finish school, or roughing it out so you can get drunk.
you know what i did? i moved out so i could get drunk. was it easy? no. did i make it? yes. but i made it through hard work and suffering.
was it worth it? yes (:
OP here. They're actually real chill. I live in a country with a dr king age of 18. It also has a very strong drinking culture. And it's really common for students to live at home if their home city is where their uni is. My parents don't have a major problem, it's just a nibbling thing that comes up sometimes. ALWAYS taxi home with mates as well. Idk I think since the culture is dif here, and most people's parents allow their kids to start drinking at like 16, this whole issue of guilt was confusing - didn't know if it was justified. But I mean, I've been of age for two years. Am a high achieving student, never come home wasted, and have never got into trouble. So I would just find it annoying that sometimes they didn't seem very trusting when I'm obviously not some total floosy, am just young and want to have fun. But as I said it isn't a huge deal. Just last night my mum gave me a bottle of wine to take out to dinner with friends to celebrate an award I just won. It's a fine line, and I get that I defs need to consider their opinions and respect their feelings on the subject. With stuff like this I reckon we probably are both figuring out boundaries as we go along.
lol, that fine line reminds me of my parents complaining over dinner about me going out for my bday with friends, but as we were leaving the restaurant and saying our goodbyes, my dad slipped me a 50. Parents can be weird. Nice, but weird.