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Mystery Man

 
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im a 24yod guy and im not ready for sex. my current boyfriend is really kind but it's obvious he's missing the physical connection. i don't know if i should let him hook up/have sex with other guys or if i should just suck it up and have sex with him.

OK - I can do this. Honest. I read a book once.

You will be ready for sex again when you are ready. Don't rush yourself for some perceived panic about your boy friend's sex life, or lack thereof. You take all the time you need to get ready. Sex is supposed to be a fun way to be closer together, not a chore, and certainly not painful.

Now, guy/guy relationships have a much different dynamic to guy/girl, at least the ones I know. Sexual jealousy is usually much less of a problem. You know that, but many of the readers here don't, so I had to clarify.

If you have a good, strong, loving relationship, I can't see anything wrong in sending him out to get his ashes hauled once in a while. After all, the sex itself means very little, it is simply filling a physical need. It is the emotional commitment that matters here. As long as he is meeting your need for love, cherishing and support, a bit of playing away, with your consent, really doesn't matter one way or the other.

Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him what you told me. Expand on it. But don't play the drama queen. If you are uncomfortable with him hooking up elsewhere - tell him. Relationships are built on honesty - never on lies.

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11 Comments

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Wow...so, if it was a guy/girl...you'd say give in b/c of the sexual jealousy??? Not cool.

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Brandi, he would say only the first part of the answer to a woman i.e wait until you are ready and if he's not okay with it, break up, because no one should be pressured into sex especially by their spouse and unlike men, women cannot handle sharing their man because of sexual jealousy.

MaggieG

Sounds like stereotyping to me. Nobody should be pressured into sex before they're ready, true. But, if this boyfriend is so special, he should wait or take matters into his own hands (so to speak). Sending him off to someone else is stupid. I don't care what the person's sexual preference is. If he doesn't respect you enough to be patient with you, tell him goodbye. It's not about sexual jealousy. It's about respect.

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Amen..... Maggie G too many people don't respect the feelings of their partners because of the need for personal gratification. If he loves you he will wait.....

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How not ready for sex is he, cause alot of times the definition of sex is a bit different in same saex relationships, hetero couples tend to thing of intercourse as sex, but alot of timeshomo couples realize that there's alot more to sex than that. But I'm wondering if he's just not ready for anal sex of general sexual intimacy, cause if they're close in other sexual ways, I see no reason (unless they're both cool with it) for his boyfriend to go outside the relationship. They need to set there own rules together. That said, it may sound stereotypical, but alot of homosexual relationships have different rules when it coms to sex. I have a close friend who is a regular guess in a couples bed. He met them at a party and was propositioned by bothe of them. They're in a very committed relationship and I don't think they're situation is unique. Which nis why these tw young men should be very open and honest about their expectations in this relationship, cause they could be quite different

Mystery Man

Please remember, sometimes the question you see is not the whole story.

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I agree with you MM!

No

Two thumbs down.

This entire answer is based on horrifically uninformed and just plain stupid assumptions.

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I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this site. Keep up the wonderful work.

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Good Stuff Thank you for the information

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