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I'm a girl who is afraid of commitiment. I work through it everyday, and I really strive toward being a dateable person.Is it best to lay my cards out on the table in the beggining or once it starts getting a little serious?

I'm not a big believer in self-fulfilling prophecies. Don't mention your fear of commitment to any dude you're dating. Why set yourself up for failure? Take the training wheels off your heart and go for a ride. What happens if you fall down, go boom? You get the hell back up and peddle faster. Fear is the absence of joy, and joy is the ability to be surprised by life.

Fear gives nothing and takes everything. Living a life based on what scares you is like eating pumpkin pie without a mountain of whipped cream on top of it. Who the hell wants that?

You know the most frightening part of a roller coaster? It's not knowing what the plunge will bring. But once you've crested the top of the hill and gravity takes over, it's a rush. Date guys and don't worry about what comes next. Throw your hands in the air and lean into the safety bar. Give yourself permission to be surprised. Maybe three dates pass before you begin to freak out about what tomorrow might bring. But tomorrow promises nothing. Tomorrow laughs at your fears. Ha, Ha, says tomorrow. Do yourself a favor and open up your life to the possibility of joy. You might surprise yourself. He might. Who knows.

Isn't that exciting?

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6 Comments

Justice

This question could have practically been mine a little over a year ago. I was such a commitment-phobe because I'd been hurt so many times, until I took the training wheels off for the right person. I was literally afraid to answer his phone calls the first few days we were dating, while he wanted to tell everybody and anybody! ha ha! Today, I am the happiest girl ever to ever live. AND IT'S SO EXCITING!

So yeah, just take a chance.

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Great answer! I have a tendency to approach relationships with a wall up because I'm TERRIFIED of beig hurt AGAIN, so I really needed to read this. "Do yourself a favor and open up your life to the possibility of joy. You might surprise yourself." I think its about time I take this advice. Thanks John!

LoveFromOhio

AWESOME ANSWER, JDV!

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What a lovely day for a 1404104! SCK was here

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I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing posts on this website. Keep up the great work.

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I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing posts on this site. Keep up the great work.

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