If you date a guy who is bothered by your ass kicking prowess, then you shouldn't date him.
Oh wowsies, isn't that easy?
Personally, I think you'll come in handy during the coming zombie apocalypse. Not to totally mess with gender norms: I can make cupcakes. I can also spar, but I'll confess that usually, I'm better at absorbing punches instead of throwing them.
A man who would be threatened by your ability to hold your own in a fight is a man who is threatened by a woman he can't potentially intimidate. Either that, or he has itty-bitty, little, eensy-weensy testicles. Almonds, really.
But a dude who recognizes that an accomplished woman is hot is a keeper. And there are plenty out there. Never hide your specialness. Use it as a test of a person's character.
DeVore,
You are spot on, as always.
I was a martial artist, and instructor, for many years. In the ring, there were always guys who would not spar me, or make an extra effort to hurt me, because they were intimidated. Outside of the ring, though, every guy who found out about my talent thought it was totally sexy, and asked me to put a move on them.
Now that I'm no longer in fighting shape, my powers as an ass-kicking machine are nearly undetectable, even though I can still drop a man to his knees using nothing but my little finger. Or my smile, depending on my mood... ;)
But when they find out, I still get the starry-eyed, drooling gaze, and am likely to be asked, "Can you teach me some moves?" Ahh...you guys can be so corny, but still, I can't resist you.
So ... you make cupcakes?
"But a dude who recognizes that an accomplished woman is hot is a keeper. And there are plenty out there. Never hide your specialness. Use it as a test of a person's character."
Thank you so much for this. Seriously, thank you. Thank you for reminding me that a guy who's threatened by a girl's talents is not worth it.
Girls- he should be proud of you and respect you and think your talents and accomplishments are hot (and you should feel the same way about him!).
Once again, sir, thank you.
"But when they find out, I still get the starry-eyed, drooling gaze, and am likely to be asked, "Can you teach me some moves?""
I do get this a lot, which is always entertaining.
"A man who would be threatened by your ability to hold your own in a fight is a man who is threatened by a woman he can't potentially intimidate."
This is an interesting take on the situation. I wasn't really sure what the motivating factors behind a guy's dislike of my skills could be, and I had never considered this. Thanks for clearing up some of the mystery! With my new loser-detection abilities, I'll be unstopable :D
I don't think it's the intimidation thing so much as a gender roles thing. Guys are brought up thinking that being beaten up by a girl is the worst thing in the world. Worse, even, than cooties. Guy's grow up thinking it's their job to be the burly-protector-thing and that one should not hit girls, for girls are delicate flowers, so when your girlfriend is more badass than you are it's kind of emasculating.
Don't get me wrong; I think it's hot. I love the kind of woman that can kick my ass*.That's just my view on why guys can find it threatening.
*although I would appreciate it if you did not.
Wow, I can't imagine any of my guy friends disliking someone with the above mentioned skills. If anything I'm pretty sure it'd be a turn on. Plus you can pull the Keanu line, "I know kung fu." The only way it could be a turn off that I can think, is if in front of all his guy friends, you boast about how you can beat him up. That wouldn't bother all guys, but it would bother some (sort of like if you make more money than he does: he may like it, he may not care, but he might not want his friends to know).