Hey sister, you're not alone. If my research team is to be trusted, the idea of being shy and unable to charm the opposite sex is the basis of something like 93% of all written human communication.
It's a classic Catch-22. Confidence is one of the sexiest things you can exude, yet needs to be nurtured by social success, which in turn is reliant on your confidence. There's also something about the war in there, if I recall.
Of course if you're looking for the quick and dirty solution, there's always alcohol. However, side effects may include loss of motor skills, inhibition, and/or sound judgment, so if you want to land a guy without risking vomiting on him, you might want to go a more natural route.
In which case, I've got one or two tricks you can try:
--Ask questions. Being curious often comes off as confidence, and asking the folks around you about their lives means you don't have to worry about the best way to present your own.
--Breathe deep, go to your special place, and remind yourself that people are people. There's no one in the world who doesn't go to the bathroom regularly, stub their toe in the middle of the night, and go through most of their life lacking confidence. Prey on that and you're golden.
--You don't need to go it alone. If you're heading into a high-pressure situation, bring a friend along. Nothing keeps you on an even keel like having someone around who can totally call you on all your bullshit.
--Imagine everyone around you in their underwear. Unless you're at an orgy, in which case imagine everyone as skinless? No, that's just horrifying. Don't go to orgies if you're shy, I guess is the lesson there.
--Turn the tables. Try and get a guy to hang with you on your terms; either at a place you're comfortable or doing something you're great at (be it painting, a sport or game, armed robbery, whatever). Nothing inspires confidence like crushing your potential date at a game of ping pong.
--If you're feeling adventurous, work up a stand-up routine and try an open mic night at a local comedy club (hey, you said you were funny). It'll be absolutely terrifying, but after that I guarantee telling a joke to some schlub at a bar will seem a whole lot less scary.
--If all else fails, straight force yourself to talk. Give yourself mental points for every sentence you say to a dude, and try to top your own high score. If you do, write your initials on his forehead.
In the end, The best way to realize you don't need to clam up is to open your mouth, say something stupid, and realize that it's no big deal. Everyone bombs, and the sooner you prove to yourself that you can survive embarrassment, the sooner it'll no longer have a hold on you.
I have the same problem but one way that really helps me (and that Michael mentions) is to take a deep breath and realize we're all people. I tell myself to chill and enjoy getting to know this guy, however short or long our chat is, and then we'll see how things go from there.
Just do it! Michael is right, most of us are just as nervous around you. The fact that you tried, whether you pull it off or not, is impressive. And the best part is each time you do it, you'll get better and better at it.
Try taking an improv class or workshop. Even if you're not interested in performing, it can really help boost your confidence and make you think on your feet faster.
I'm super shy too, and as weird as it sounds, it helps a lot when I purposely tell myself to do what I find out of my comfort zone. Like if something is making me nervous, I pretend I'm someone else who it wouldn't be scary to at all, and I just go for it. If something starts freaking me out, I push myself to do it and just see how it goes. Once you get over that "shy line" for something, the next time it's even easier =)
This is exactly how I cope with my shyness and anxiety. It actually makes me happy that I'm not the only one who does this.
I knew I was craving a Fuzzy Navel...thanks for the suggestion! :)
Taking a Drama class (community or university) is a good way to learn to interact with different kinds of people. Even a hobby class is good, like ceramics or salsa dancing. You'll meet people with the same interests as you; even if you don't find someone in the class, they might know someone who is perfect (or almost perfect) for you. Either way, what have you lost?
I have the exact opposite problem. I talk to everyone and am definitely not mysterious at all, ie. I'm almost like a drunk when I'm completely sober, and I think it scares guys off. When I'm in an uncomfortable setting is when guys start talking to me, but they're never guys that I have an actual interest in (I prefer the kind of guy that's super confident like me and can make me laugh incessantly).