Be honest and follow your instincts. You are not ashamed of her, so don't hide her away. It isn't the 18th Century anymore.
I can see your reasoning, the worry that guys (or gals - have no idea what sex or orientation you are) will stay away in droves if you mention your daughter in your profile, but you are being rather silly.
Sure, some guys will be put off by you having a daughter with special needs, just as some will be put off by you having a child at all. Do you really want that sort of guy anyway?
By being up front about it, you may reduce the number of responses you get, but you will be able to relax in the knowlege that you never have to dread the introduction of your daughter to your dates. Well, no more than the usual dread of catastrophe if she decides she dislikes him.
is there a reason for the Glenn Beck tag or is it just general randomness? ;)
I could just see him going into a frothing rage over this question.
Sometimes my free association for tags gets a bit wonky.
I have a special needs son and have done some online dating, and I have tried both ways, being upfront about it and not saying anything about it. Every situation is different, but how you handle this will depend entirely on what you are looking for, and how your daughter plays a role in that. I am at a point where I mention I have a child, and leave the rest for discovery through dating. thats what dating is supposed to be about, getting to know each other. my son does have needs, but is mainstreamed and often people are surprised to find out he even is special needs, so saying it upfront to men I have found can be jarring, so while every experience is different, my experience has shown me to leave that out until later.
I have not yet a met a man whom I am willing to introduce my son to either, so there is that part of the equation too. If your daughter is not going to be a part of your dating life for a while, you may find that outside of saying you have a child, leave at it that until you get to know each other better. A lot of men, particularly men that have not had children, don't like to date single moms period because they know they will not always be the top priority, you add a special needs child to the mix and it's like they think they will never get to see you or talk to you or something.
Online dating makes it very tempting to put it all out there upfront, then you weed out people pretty fast. I would say it depends on your own situation, and what you want from dating. There's nothing wrong with a little mystery, in fact, mystery is good. exploring each others worlds as you go along is part of the fun. but I know it's hard, and makes things even harder for you, but mystery man is right as well. you dont want a man that can't respect your personal situation, and being a mom to a special needs child you don't have the extra time to spend weeding out either, so saying it upfront will probably save you some bulls&*%$ as well. hard to say, every situation is different, and like MM said you need to follow your instinct. that will tell the truth every time. good luck to you, it's a battlezone for the most "average" challenges, but with additional ones like yours the journey can seem impossible. but it's not, just stick to it and have faith that you deserve happiness just like anyone else, cuz there ARE guys that don't give a crap how many drs appts your kid needs, they just hope to hear from you when they're done, and you'll find one. :)
I'm a single mom to 2 kids one special needs. I usually leave it until the frist few dates. I find it lets people see me and know I'm sti, because they need to be interested in me to date me. This particular guy I've been on four dates with I told him half way through the first date. He's a single dad and was completely okay with it. He's been amazing! But it felt right to tell him then. If it doesn't feel right, wait.
It can be frusterating and seem hopeless sometimes when your trying to date with a special needs child. My son is autistic, and most guys get scared of the word without knowing anything about my child. "if you meet one autistic person... you've met ONE autistic person." I got a few guys who told me up front "I'm sorry i don't think i could handle that in my life at the moment" and that was fine. don't take it personally. but If you wait it'll make finding the right guy that much better.
good luck!