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Mystery Man

 
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I'm a straight woman, but on a few occassions, through some close friends who happen to be LBGT, I have met some very attractive transmen. I know that they're biologically female, but they look like men, act like men, smell like men, and consider themselves men, does it make me less straight for being attracted to them?

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck - it is a duck.

Thats what your body says, and believes. So, no. You are still totally straight for being attracted to them, if that really worries you.

Make no mistake, transmen are men, pure and simple, in every way that matters.
The fact that it took an operation or three to align their physical sex more closely with their gender identity makes absolutely no difference to your reaction to them.
You should already know this, if you ever discussed it with your LBGT friends. If you haven't, there is a lot of information out there which makes for fascinating reading. A good start point would be here. (Hey, a guy can give a friend a shout out, right?)

Of course, they may not be attracted to you. That depends on their sexuality.

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8 Comments

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Wow, Mystery Man, I'm super happily surprised by your answer! You're so right, transmen are just as much men as cismen and should be seen as such. It's too bad more people aren't as educated and open minded as you are.

Jlove

MM, I don't mean to be so forward, but I love you. Will you have me?

Mystery Man

Next Tuesday work for you?

Jlove

It's a date ;)

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Being straight or not being straight is not a very great concern to me, I've always been very attracted to men and am very comfortable around all kinds of people, it's mostly that I got caught in a train of circular thought, and it was getting very confusing.
The thought process was centered around the fact that intellectually knowing that this man used to have breasts and significantly less testosterone was not effecting my bodies attraction to them, and wondering if not being bothered by former woman parts was subconciously due to just not being bothered by woman parts, or it it was just that my body was responding to what was right there in front of me, and didn't give to cents about what I intellectually knew. as I've never been attracte to women it seemed it should be the latter, but it also seemed that knowing that should and shouldn't matter.......basicallly my head was going in circles, so I had to ask.
In the moment of meeting all I though was wow he's hot, and couldn't help but giggle at everything he said, it's just later that I started over analyzing it.

Thank you for your great answer, and no, I've never really discussed trans gender and gender identity with them. The group of friends I was refering to are two gay men, and one of their best friends from highschool who is a lesbian. She was my room mate for a while after college, but transgender never really came up as a topic, I guess because none of us were trans.

Mystery Man

Ah. You make a very common mistake.

Intellectual knowlege does absolutely nothing for or against initial attraction. It can fight it, sure, but has as much chance of stopping attraction as a leaf does an avalanche.
Your personal definition of sex appeal is hard wired into you by your body chemistry, sexuality and experiences, so that primal growl of lust you felt comes from much, much deeper in your mind than the intelligent, analytical, thinking bit. You body knows who it wants - and is letting you know in no uncertain terms.
You mentioned the man smell specifically, so that is probably your body's trigger here. A lot of transmen have a higher testosterone level than biomen, with the scent markers that entails.

Enjoy it. Everyone is allowed to go weak at the knees sometimes!

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Loved this response. When one spies a good-looking member of the opposite sex, one's initial reaction is 'Oh, a good-looking member of the opposite sex! Hubba-hubba!' You don't need to go up to them and ask if he/she was born their current sex before being capable of making the acknowledgment that they're a genetic blessing and you want to have babies with them.

Love is love is love is love. You can complicate it and biology it and try to make it logical as much you want, but the fact is it's been around forever and it's not going to go away soon. Everybody's capable of it in some form or another, and in some cases you just need to be secure enough within yourself to accept it. And this is without even going into the power of outside influence and your own idea of tradition and good judgment - that's a conversation for another day.

Mystery Man

Good call, and a really good comment, but with one proviso.

Love is love is love - true. I'd never knock that.

But this response is the far more basic lust is lust is lust.

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