Depends on who you ask. Someone who has slept with three times as many guys as you might say you're practically a virgin. Someone like Pat Robertson might say you're going straight to Hell.
There is no answer to this question. "Skank" isn't like pi; there's no set value. It's a judgment call that will vary from person to person, the same as if you asked different people, "Do you like my shoes?" All you will get is opinions, and the only opinion that matters is your own. If you like the shoes you're wearing, who cares what anybody else thinks?
The same goes for sex: the number of people you choose to sleep with is nobody's business but your own. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. Do you feel like a skank? Then maybe you should cut back on the sex. If not, keep on doing what makes you happy as long as you aren't hurting anybody.
It's not my place or anyone else's to proclaim you a slut simply because we think you sleep around too much. No one has the right to judge you but you.
Thanks for the question.
Great answer! What's done is done and whether you regret your actions or not you shouldn't be beating yourself up about it. Consider it a lesson learned for future reference. Also, whatever you might have done in the past has made you into who you are today - flaws and all (and I'm not saying you have any) - and you should embrace that instead of being ashamed of yourself. Nobody's perfect. I learned that the hard way :)
I think it's not about a number, it's how you've approached the sex itself. If you'll take anyone, do anything, anywhere, then yes, that's pretty skanky behaviour. Which, you know, you're perfectly entitled to choose to do, but it's probably the sort of thing that will make people call you a skank. I knew a girl who wouldn't go out clubbing very much, maybe once every few months, but every time she did, she'd come back with some random guy. This girl was quite unattractive, but she did the usual dyed blonde hair, make up out to the walls, high heels, very revealing clothes kind of thing, to get attention from any male she could, and then sleep with whoever she could in order to feel better about herself, not because she actually enjoyed it, as she confessed to me.
If that's the kind of thing you're doing, you've probably got some self esteem issues that need looking at. However, if you're a bit more selective about the people you go with, making sure there's some kind of attraction there, and if you're a person who genuinely likes sex as opposed to using it to feel false closeness, then that's just being sexually adventurous. IMHO.
"If you'll take anyone, do anything, anywhere, then yes, that's pretty skanky behaviour."
In your opinion. That's still a judgment, not a fact. What is someone likes having sex with anyone, any time, anywhere? Who are we to label them a skank, which insinuates that they are less moral than we are? Maybe their morals are different; not better, not worse, just different.
Well, that's sort of what I meant. :) If someone genuinely likes that, then it's not skanky. But if it's for the wrong reasons, then it is. I tried to make that clear in what I wrote in the last sentence. Sexually adventurous vs skank label all depends on the way you approach it, and how emotionally and mentally well you are about it, even if the behaviour is exactly the same.
There is a great episode on Sex in the City where Samantha is trying to get a job and the reason she doesn't get it (right away) is because she slept with her potential boss's collegue.
Her response is great. She tells the guy that if she were a man she would get a high five and a key to some private club or something. She tells him he is hypocritical, short sighted and storms out.
This is true of society in general. It is ok for men to sleep with as many women as they want and that is accepted. However for women there is still judgement on how many is too many.
Even the term whore automatically is in reference to a woman however if we are speaking about a man then we actually have to distinguish man whore.
I agree with W-A do what feels right for you. Don't let yourself be boxed in by society. We need to break this societal coma that is ok for men but not women to be sexually active. Who are all these men sleeping with anyway. Women!!!!
I call a skank a skank, and a whore a whore, whether they're male or female. It gets some looks and comments from my male friends sometimes, but it isn't going to change unless people change it.
Ahhh.....sex. It means so many different things to so many different people; and even maybe to you based on the different periods in your life. I am 26 and have slept with, well, X amount of men. I used to think I was a skank because my number was so high, but I have gone on a hiatus over the last two years. When I was younger, it wasn't about making me feel good- it was about having a damn good time! Now that I am a little older and have a child (I am a single mother), no- I can't go off and sleep with whoever like I used to. I still have a random encounter here and there, but my perception on sex has changed since those careless, lust filled nights that seem so long ago. If you are enjoying yourself and are being careful, then live it up sistah! We only live once....whether we feel dirty in the morning or not. I do say however, that the only way you can feel dirty and not care, is if you truly do things for yourself and not to just please a guy. Skank or saint....at the end of the day, we all are human beings and should live without regret.
Your number is yours and is no body's business. Enjoy sex? Great! Some people want to "own" the other person just because they have had sex. I do not use or even think of those words that demean another's choices. Go forth and enjoy without looking back! Be bold in the face of your critics!
It seems that subconsciously this girl is asking herself that question, like she feels that it's wrong. Now i am not the type to condemn anyone and neither am i condemning the person but i do think having multiple sex partners does something to our psyche sooner or later. Sex becomes mundane and repetitive and not special anymore. I know i can speak for myself only but when i do find out a girl has multiple sex partners, whatever idea of going full out with that girl is basically out the window. I can't help it though, it's not that i think the girl is a slut, it's more like okay, not so sure i want to have a girl who gives out too much. something like that
I asked the original question. I do feel a little wrong because some of my girlfriends have been with their boyfriends for many years and have ONLY slept with them.
For the record, I don't have a high number, but it is not 1 nor do I have multiple sex partners. But this question is bc if a guy were to ask me how many men I have been with, at what number would he look at me like a high class hooker?!
If a guy asks me, is it wrong to just tell him the number of people that I was in serious relationships/dating?
Tell him what you want to tell him, including, "I'd rather not say" if you would rather not say. Your number is your business.