All you can do is let him know that you want to be monogamous and then actually be monogamous. You can't change your past and--more importantly--you shouldn't have to apologize to anyone or justify your decisions. It's not your fault that society congratulates men for being promiscuous while labeling women "sluts" and "ho bags" for similar behavior. I love me some Jersey Shore, but it annoys me how hypocritical "MVP" (Mike, Vinny, Paulie) are when it comes to the women in the house. They can bring home all manner of "grenades" (sigh, that catchphrase is so offensive to women and weapons manufacturers) and be considered studs, but if Snooki or Deena hook up with more than one guy they're automatically skanks. Of course, this particular double standard isn't exclusive to MTV's award-winning docudrama series.
Hopefully the guy you like isn't a judgmental douche and will give you a chance. Decent guys won't judge you for your past. They understand that you had a life before them and will only judge you based on how you act around them. Also, as long as you practiced safe sex and are STD-free, your past is none of his business. Would a guy tell you about his him-bo days if he was trying to get you to go out with him? I'm sure the slutty dudes you meet have zero regret for their womanizing ways. If you're really worried, keep him away from friends or frenemies who would joke about your, uh, "free love" days. As for the guy, let him know that you're only interested in dating one person now. If he asks about your past, you can say that you had some wild times just like everybody else but are not in that phase of your life anymore. If he snickers or doesn't believe you, he's not worth your time.
Everyone deserves a fresh start. We've all done things we're not proud of, and everyone goes through a period where they're figuring themselves out. Don't let your past define you. 90% of the guys you meet won't care. They'll be too busy falling for the new you to worry about your past.
Hopefully the guy you like isn't a judgmental douche and will give you a chance. Decent guys won't judge you for your past. They understand that you had a life before them and will only judge you based on how you act around them. Also, as long as you practiced safe sex and are STD-free, your past is none of his business. Would a guy tell you about his him-bo days if he was trying to get you to go out with him? I'm sure the slutty dudes you meet have zero regret for their womanizing ways. If you're really worried, keep him away from friends or frenemies who would joke about your, uh, "free love" days. As for the guy, let him know that you're only interested in dating one person now. If he asks about your past, you can say that you had some wild times just like everybody else but are not in that phase of your life anymore. If he snickers or doesn't believe you, he's not worth your time.
Everyone deserves a fresh start. We've all done things we're not proud of, and everyone goes through a period where they're figuring themselves out. Don't let your past define you. 90% of the guys you meet won't care. They'll be too busy falling for the new you to worry about your past.
Get the book The Ethical Slut.
Also, forgiveness takes a long time but also goes a long way. You can put that burden down if it's getting to heavy.
How about this: Your past has made you who you are today.
Anyone who loves who you are today has to respect what you've been through to get there.
As for the nitty gritty details, they are your business, not anyone else's.
I think most people do the best they can with the information they have at any given time.
You have probably gained a lot of experience and insight as a direct result of how you have lived your life so far.
It sounds like you know exactly what you want.
That's a gift in itself.
Own it.
Wrong and horrible advice!!this guy deserves the TRUTH !I'm in a divorce because my wife lied and was a complete SLUT for her whole life met me then lied to get me!!all I can say is I hope you find love and the respect you want .my advice is go for a former guy SLUT and he will totally understand where you were and share your values ...don't go for a good guy that values sex because he's not ...I REPEAT !!not gunna be ok with it as any good girl would never be ok being married to mike the situation .move forward make good choices and date a guy with similar backround .
Wrong and horrible advice!!this guy deserves the TRUTH !I'm in a divorce because my wife lied and was a complete SLUT for her whole life met me then lied to get me!!all I can say is I hope you find love and the respect you want .my advice is go for a former guy SLUT and he will totally understand where you were and share your values ...don't go for a good guy that values sex because he's not ...I REPEAT !!not gunna be ok with it as any good girl would never be ok being married to mike the situation .move forward make good choices and date a guy with similar backround .
This guys advice needs some work. It is true that if he judges you then your should go your separate ways but I think the more important things is that if you want it to be a real relationship where you can be yourself and he is himself then you will tell him the truth.
Would you want him to hold back information or lie to you?
If you can not talk about your issues then this relationship will end sooner or later.
Good Luck.