It can be saved. Maybe. You are going to need the three T's here.
Talk
You must be totally honest with him about your needs. That means discussing your sex life and preferences with him as openly as you can. There is no right or wrong in any consensual sex act, there is simply works or doesn't work.
Tolerance
One of the big problems you are going to face is that most guys have it very forcefully (and frequently forcibly) imprinted on them at a young age that you simply do not hit women. Like most early conditioning, it is something that is often terribly difficult to overcome, even if he knows it is OK and within your boundaries.
He is already open to the idea of spanking, at least, though I bet it makes him terribly uncomfortable. Respect his boundaries, as he respects yours.
Time
Getting to a mutually satisfying sex life takes time when one partner has a kink and the other does not. Baby steps are in order here, for both of you.
My heart goes out to you hon, finding a good, sane, loving man, who is also willing to be what you need in that aspect is so beyond difficult, And its so easy to fall for a great guy with no knks...
I have the opposite problem.....I'm 50/50 when it comes to the dirty stuff. Sometimes I like tender lovey stuff, sometimes not. But the guy I'm seeing just likes dirty sex. Like, the more taboo the better. He constantly jokes that he's a freak~ and I keep saying "no one is judging you." But I'm worried that nothing will ever satisfy him completely, AND we'll never have true intimacy.
Can anyone relate to this?
Same advice, just flipped 180 degrees. You still need the talk, tolerance and time thing.
How about a one "C" - compromise?
Thank you for answering my question. We are talking our way through it, he says he's scared i'll want to do more and more until finally it's no longer sex between a husband and wife but one big kink show. I get that. So "baby steps".
P.S: I don't want him to hit me LoL!! I want to be the one in control and he's the alpha male type LoL. Again, "baby steps".
Thank you!!
Thank you for answering my question. We are talking our way through it, he says he's scared i'll want to do more and more until finally it's no longer sex between a husband and wife but one big kink show. I get that. So "baby steps".
P.S: I don't want him to hit me LoL!! I want to be the one in control and he's the alpha male type LoL. Again, "baby steps".
Thank you!!