Ha. That's the first time I've heard of anyone having a Peter Lorre in M fetish. I'm sure you're not alone in your preferences, but it's certainly unique. The thing is, you do have a "creep-dar." More of a creep homing beacon, actually. You're just choosing to ignore it.
Okay, so maybe you have unique tastes in guys. Look back at all the creeps you've dated. At what point did they go from attractive to total creep? Certainly there were signs that you ignored. If nothing else, the guys probably had a few traits in common. Were they all narcissistic? Prone to mood swings? Rude to waiters? If any of us really looked at who we date we'd notice patterns. Look for the similarities between these guys--the things that attracted you to them as well as the things that make them repellent scumbag creeps. Also, think about why you're attracted to guys who are bad news. Is it a self-confidence issue? Do you think that you can't do any better? Do you crave drama? Are you more attracted to someone who treats you like crap?
Breaking your pattern isn't going to be easy. Dating jerks can be an addiction like anything else. The trick will be to find someone who you're attracted to who also doesn't look like he should be on some sort of government watch list. If all else fails, watch the Lonely Island and Nicki Minaj's "Creep" video. If the guy at all resembles anyone in that video, run the other way.
Okay, so maybe you have unique tastes in guys. Look back at all the creeps you've dated. At what point did they go from attractive to total creep? Certainly there were signs that you ignored. If nothing else, the guys probably had a few traits in common. Were they all narcissistic? Prone to mood swings? Rude to waiters? If any of us really looked at who we date we'd notice patterns. Look for the similarities between these guys--the things that attracted you to them as well as the things that make them repellent scumbag creeps. Also, think about why you're attracted to guys who are bad news. Is it a self-confidence issue? Do you think that you can't do any better? Do you crave drama? Are you more attracted to someone who treats you like crap?
Breaking your pattern isn't going to be easy. Dating jerks can be an addiction like anything else. The trick will be to find someone who you're attracted to who also doesn't look like he should be on some sort of government watch list. If all else fails, watch the Lonely Island and Nicki Minaj's "Creep" video. If the guy at all resembles anyone in that video, run the other way.
I know it was meant as a joke...but...I was a bit sad when I followed the "ceep" link......because, not so much the walk but, everything else was kind of a ringer for a couple of my ex's....I mean if I sent you pictures you'd get it...one even had the mustach.....Yes they were narcissistic, and moody, and manipulative. But what I think always gets me from the start is that they are interesting, fascinating even, always very smart and eloquent, but oily, smarmy, and fascinatingly irresistable. I find myself enthralled, until I'm far enough removed the the situation to wonder, what was I thinking?
You're right though, I think what started it, was that those seemed to be the only guys who were interested in me, I was pretty invisible in highschool and college, I had alot of guy friends but they never saw me romantically, so when guys started noticing me even though they were creepers I was pretty thrilled and it just kind of spiralled from their. I am a little concerned that I really can't do better, I'm not even sure how to go about finding a better kind of guy. Anyway, thank you :) I think this is going to require me to be very concious of who I go for a why.
I can relate.. I'm insanely in love with Vincent Price. Xoxo
Good advice. I like how you mentioned the "Creep" video because I think that song is wonderful! haha
Wonderful answer Nick. To Creep Seeker: As someone who was painfully shy in high school, and was bowled over by anyone showing attention or interest, you have to develop some spine and decide you're worth a decent guy. Pick out the aspects of your love interests that you liked - interesting to talk to, smart, eloquent. Add on a few more: integrity, kindness, a sense of humor, especially about themselves.
And please, please, please: Stop associating "oily and smarmy" with "fascinating". The human brain loves puzzles, loves to be surprised, so someone who can't ever be predicted may be intellectually interesting. But - that interest should remain in the science experiment realm; as in "I wonder what would happen if I stand back behind this bullet-proof glass and add this explosive chemical to that one".
You might be giving yourself points for going with someone who appears counterculture, or non-mainstream, or coasting on their aura of danger. There are many good, decent men who are offbeat, different, counterculture, who aren't a**holes.
As great as you may be, you are not going to be the magic cure for the asshattery. Don't engage someone repellent in anything further than conversation.
As great as you may be ... if you aren't, work on it until you *believe* you deserve someone equally great.