You really think that people hate you because you're pretty? I don't even know you and I hate you. Not because you're pretty (useless without pictures); I hate you because you're obviously kind of an a**hole.
In what world does an actual person who's pretty AND nice not manage to have friends and find men to date? That NEVER happens. In fact, study, history, and movies teach us that pretty people almost always manage to be the most popular, have the most friends, and never seem to be at a loss for anybody.
You know who has problems making friends? The pretty chick who is also an a**hole to everybody. You know her. She thinks that because she's pretty the world should be her oyster and kind of snubs people she doesn't view as being on her level. That chick. In my high school and hell, throughout life, all of the pretty chicks I knew who had great personalities were flocked by people who loved and liked their energy and wanted to be around them. Men want to be around pretty women who exude positive energy.
We abhor negative energy.
So you want to know how to change this? Try actually being nice to people. Don't be judgmental. And for the love of God, quite pretending that people don't like you because you're pretty. You can lie to me, but don't lie to yourself.
Panama's getting some serious deja vous!
http://www.guyspeak.com/answers/do-you-think-that-beautiful-women-have-it-easier-in-life-im-beautiful-but-my-looks-only-made-my-life-5/
You know, thanks for pointing that out. I don't remember half the stuff I've written here. However, the tone in those two questions was completely different. One was asking in a very sincere way. This chick comes off as a dbag. Plain and simple. It's like she's blaming other people for her issue...which to her is only that she's pretty. Other people should get with the program.
Any woman who refers to herself as "beautiful and nice" is probably not nice, and possibly not even beautiful. You let other people tell you that stuff, sweetheart. Saying it yourself is like having to tell people you're cool--if you have to say it, you're probably not.
oh i respectfully disagree. i think the world would be a MUCH nicer place if more women thought they were beautiful.
I see your point, but thinking/believing you're beautiful and bragging/complaining about being beautiful are two different things.
I think some girls really know they're beautiful, they own it and they're proud that they are but sometimes beauty can be such a curse, it can make you or break you. I remember there was this one stunningly beautiful girl back in my uni days, all the girls hate her bcos she's beautiful and she attract all the men's attention, and the girls hated that. So she ended up having lesser friends...
I totally agree with Panama
I have a 17 year old daughter who is very pretty. Since she was very little she has been told how beautiful she is. More importantly, and this was the hard thing to achieve, she is a kind person. She tries to always be aware of how other people might feel.
The beautiful part is easy for her, but the kind part took a lot of effort. In elementary school she worked hard to stop being nasty. Often times she was unaware that she was being nasty. She worked hard to make changes in her behavior. She feels gossiping is a bad habit and not gossiping is a good habit, so she has made it a habit to not gossip.
She has tons of friends and is never without someone to hang out with. New friends introduce her to their friends and her circle grows.
There will always be mean girls and there will always be guys that try to play her. That's just life, not everybody jibes.
OP- take a good hard look at yourself but don't use a mirror.
I have a problem with girls being told they're beautiful and oh-so-cute all the time. What it leads to is women, who believe all they ever have to be is pretty. What about being good at drawing, or languages, maybe mathematics?
My dad used to tell me that no matter how smart you are, kiddo, you have to always treat people equal. Your color, height, symmetry of your face, size of your brain... those are trivial things, as a nasty personality can ruin even the most beautiful person.
Who would want to spend time with a know-it-all or beauty pagent who treats everyone like less fortunate? There's always going to be those, who are jealous for silly reasons, such as "she's thinner than I am" or "she's an airhead spending too much time with her hair and make up". But a genuine nice, friendly person is always going to have friends, even if just a couple.
I agree.
However, it doesn't really matter if the parents agree with the kid being called pretty or handsome all the time. It is not necessarily the family constantly stroking the kids ego. The majority of the time it is strangers or peers.
It isn't like that is the family focus. My daughter has hobbies and arts that she works hard at.
Believe it or not really pretty people are told how beautiful they are so often it's surprising. Most often by strangers.
I have a friend who is quite pretty and somewhat arrogant, though she's not rude. She's either liked or hated at first sight, and I have experienced situations when people cast her an evil-eye out of the blue. She has lots of friends (and enemies) and never had a problem with guys asking her out. A person who is beautiful on the outside never lacks suitors, at least on the short term, so this asker probably is not as hot and she thinks she is. Who would bother with an ordinary looking person with a nasty better-than-you disposition?
Yep! If you're considered attractive, people put up with much more BS from you, and you rarely need to make the effort to be nice to others because, they're falling all over themselves to be with you.
On the other side of the coin, if you're considered ugly by much of society, people already decided what you are like even before they bother to get to know you. And almost any gaffe is doubly punished.
Just the way the world and people works.
There are people who are beautiful and nice that are picked on. I've seen it happen. How about giving her the benefit of the doubt and answer her question, rather than reading into it that she must be an asshole. Takes one to know one....I am a loyal follower of all of you guys and I expected more from you, Panama!
Sorry for disappointing you and all but I call a spade a spade. If you come out the gate assuming people hate you SOLELY b/c you're pretty I'm calling shenanigans every time. Yeah, we've all seen pretty people get picked on...but let's not pretend like some folks don't bring it on themselves either. The way she framed it makes me think she probably projects out an heir of, "you all won't like me b/c i'm pretty" which anybody can sniff out easily and detest.
Everybody has haters. Everybody. Some folks are going to be dbags to you no matter what. pretty, ugly, fat, skinny, etc. But EVERYBODY doesn't like you? That implies that maybe its not other people. It's you.
I keep dating the same type of woman...unsuccessfully...perhaps it's me, not them. Lessons we should all learn. If you're doing everything you can to change your outcome then yeah...something isn't clicking and maybe its other people, but what's the likelihood of that really being the case.
I usually give benefit of the doubt, but this time...no.
Panama answered exactly as I would have. A bit kinder, perhaps, but the same.
I'm beautiful and nice and everyone hates me...gag, vomit
I'm blessed to have had my 2 best friends for the last 20+ years, and lots of close friends, old and new, who genuinely like me. Wow, I always thought it was because I was kind, sweet, compassionate and fun to be around.
Wow, maybe it's because they think I'm ugly. Hmmm...........
I hope you don't really believe that last sentence lol. Though there's no pic, I'll venture a guess you aren't ugly, true physically ugly people are relatively rare - they usually don't have children.
But what you said seems to be a recent phenomenon. Not too long ago, it was commonly believe the opposite; beautiful people just had to be kind and compassionate because they were beautiful, ugly people had to be mean and hateful because they were ugly. Not sure when that got changed.
There's actually a very simple solution to this problem. You just have to hang out with other beautiful people. I don't know where you live or what your means are, but there must be one bar or whatnot near you where all the hotties hang. Or just move to a place where good looks are the norm (Sweden, Argentina, the set of Gossip Girl etc). Or become a model, which may riddle you with insecurities until you believe you're ugly. But yeah; I personally find real, natural, supermodel level beauty intimidating in person. Assuming you are as beautiful as that, it's pretty normal that all the regular Joe uglies run a mile when they see you.
I think that Panama is right on this one. I mean, 'beautiful' and can't get a boyfriend? -- yes, believable -- many times people have this notion of 'leagues' -- or she hasn't met the right 'match'. But beautiful and no boyfriend or even a single FRIEND? It's true that some girls hate other pretty girls -- but not *all* of them do. Similarly, not all guys are pissed off (the gay ones) or intimidated (the straight ones) by a pretty girl. I think it's quite silly for a straight male to eye EVERY female like she's up for a relationship and vice versa. Many times looks don't even matter that much -- this is true particularly for friendship where there is no sexual attraction factor.
Come on people! give this girl a break. She doesn't sound like an a-hole. She just sounds like she is not getting the real problem. She sounds confused, (and a little bit immature)...by that I mean, you are not really looking inside of you to find out what really causes guys to not take you seriously and women to hate your guts. Its easier to say "all that hate comes because I'm beautiful" and therefore, there is NOTHING you can do to change the situation, instead of looking inside of you to find out the real reason why people are not being nice to you.
First of all, analyze the situation with another person, someone you are close to, and ask him/her to tell you what he/she thinks. This is to help you gain an objective and wider view. Maybe you are not being rejected ALL the time and by EVERYONE. Carefully watch for their body language. What are they saying with their attitudes? You may find out that they are not really mean to you, maybe they are just having a bad day/ or that's just how they behave naturally, and you have nothing to do with it most of the time. I'm saying this because, someone who claims that everyone treats him/her the same way, lacks objectivity and sound egocentric.
Second, take a look at your body language. What are you projecting? You may be projecting an aura of indifference, you may appear aloof, uninterested in others, or even with a sense of entitlement because "since you are beautiful, its your way, or the high way" (you can't deny, there are people like this!)
My advice is to reframe the situation. Stop saying to yourself "this is all because I'm pretty". And "everyone" is mean to me because they are jealous or they don't take me seriously. Is there another answer for why they are like this towards you? Try to stop focusing entirely on this "beauty" thing, focus on you, your goals, what makes you happy, how good you are at specific tasks, your qualities, your opinions, be your own person, and people around you will start looking not only at your surface (your looks) but also see what a wonderful woman you are. If you don't let them get to know you, warm up to you, they will always see you as JUST a pretty woman, and nothing else...
Well said, Karenxu!