So, because his wife sticks around, it is OK for you to screw her man? Not quite sure which of the pair of you is dumber, here. Her, probably, but you are running a very close second. You are darn tootin' it's wrong.
To answer your question, what makes you think he thinks anything of you at all? After all, he certainly doesn't think at all about the woman he actually, you know, freaking married!
Stop it. Have some bloody pride.
Sheesh.
The stupidity of some women truly amazes me.
The stupidity and arrogance of the minority of guys infuriates me.
If he didn't care about cheating on the woman he married...what makes you think he'll ever care or simply think about anything with all the women he's having an affair with?
The lack of morals of some women truly amazes me.
Ladies like you are the reason why my family screwed up. Thanks.
I disagree. It is not another woman's fault that your man cheated. If it wasn't with her, he would have found someone else. The reason lies within your man and whatever issues he had with the marriage or with himself. You can't blame a woman for a man's cheating. No, it's not right that she let him do it, but he's the one who did it to you - not her.
I have to disagree, I think it is equally his and her fault. The man should of course keep it in his pants or leave the relationship, and the women (both of them, or all 5 of them in this case?) should have more respect for themselves than to do that to another woman, another family. To lay the blame on the cheating husband or the ridiculously pathetic wife, or even the cheating, or soon to be cheating whore solely is a bad societal habit, all parties are, to some extent, to blame.
Mystery Man, very good answer!
Takes two to tango.
You have to be careful if you decide to see someone who is already in a relationship. Because if they do it WITH you, they'll probably do it TO you in the future.
It's already so hard to maintain relationships in today's society, and there are so many men out there. Do yourself a favor and stop seeing the married guy. He'll hurt you in the end, just like he's hurting his wife. It's just not worth it when there are so many wonderful, available guys in the world.
The blame lies at the feet of the man. Not the women in these situations. Just as if it were a woman cheating on her man, the blame lies with her. Not the men she's cheating with.
Hold on.
I rarely argue in comments, but, she KNOWS he is married and yet still keeps on seeing him.
How is that not at least half her fault?
Because she's not the one who is married and who has made a commitment to another person, namely the man's wife. Last time I checked, single women never took an oath not to sleep with other women's husbands. He took the oath, he is 100% to blame for breaking that oath.
Not that I think it's right to sleep with someone's husband - it's wrong for many reasons. But saying that she's half to blame only shifts blame away from the husband, where it rightfully should lie.
He thinks your a jumpoff plain and simple. You KNOW that its wrong yet you continue to "hang-out"..lemme guess..in hopes that he'll divorce her and be with you? Right. Chances are he's not gonna leave his wife because she's stupid enough to stay by his side while he goes traipsing around.
How can you not blame her?!
this girl is pathetic. And so is her married boyfriend. You don't deserve love. How can you participate in destroying someones family, someones marriage, how can you tear someones world down around them without a care, without compassion.How do have the audacity to ask this question.
I imagine you think, that you believe that you are alot superior than his wife, alot smarter, alot prettier.. and you want to believe this it so bad because your so low in self esteem and you lack in all of these things and by stealing someone elses prize, you get a taste of what it feels like to be a winner. But in the end, deep down you can never be a true winner by cheating, by faking by stealing. You know what you are. And everyone else will see it too.
In this situation I dislike the woman worse than the man. It comes from my family history. My step grandmother wouldn't leave my grandfather alone. Yes, he cheated on my grandmother with her but when he tried to end it she not only refused to let that happen but started harassing my grandmother! She called my grandmother all the time and well I don't even fully know how to explain such a horrible situation. She came to my grandmother's house forced my grandfather to make a "choice". He chose her unfortunately, and left my grandmother and 4 small children out in the middle of nowhere with little to no money and no vehicle... This was in the early fifties, my mother was an infant at the time, and for some reason I would think women would be less, well brazen and slutty. My grandfather was wrong, horribly so to do that to his family but in the end I disrespect a woman who does that to another woman and her family even more so because it's wrong, she knows it wrong and she doesn't care enough to stop and find her own way in life.
He knows u straight trippin and is laughing about it. Heffa please all "other women" think they entitled once they find a shortcut. And you probably think u all that, so you can win him over "...I know he's a cheater, but I'M xxxxxxx...whatever." girl get some self esteem quick cause ur gonna start feelin the sharp elbow of karma REAL soon. Take it from someone who knows. You ain't entitled to this man, but I'm sure u'll mine the responses here until u find one that is sympathetic to you, and jibes with the lies u've already decided to tell urself so you can still feel like a quasi-decent person just caught up with bad timing or whatever. Get on your knees, but to pray for guidance cause ur not getting NOWHERE using ur own moral compass, girl.
two reasons why mean cheat. 1 they are visual creatures and 2 women are bitches and have no respect for relationships. seriously have some self worth and stop being slutty
He thinks you are a whore, and he's right.
Ouch.
Wow...some of these comments are harsh! But in some ways, make completely valid points. I'll confess...I was the other women...I slept with a married man. And it was a HUGE mistake, and I regret my actions more than anyone could possibly explain. That's one thing that rubs me the wrong way about this question...she doesn't seem remorseful at all, as she's still pursuing this man. Is the "other woman" to blame? That I don't know how to answer...I'm going to have to live with the fact that I let him cheat on his wife, but to be honest, if he wasn't going to cheat with me, I'm certain he would have done it with someone else...he made a conscious decision to cheat (I made the conscious decision to let him). His reason was he wasn't happy (and this I knew), so he was going to do it with or without me. I was just the girl who gave him an outlet...but I don't think that means I'm a whore, or a "home wrecker"...my situation may be different, as I'm sure a lot of married men leave their wives and family for their mistress. At no point did I want to "steal her man"...at no point did I sit there and hope he was going to leave her for me...because really, why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who cheats on their wife? It was purely a sexual thing, or as someone once said, "it was a force that was bigger than me". And yes, most people would say I have no self control, or self worth, and that's somewhat true. But feelings are a tricky thing to explain. I felt something for him (we saw each other almost every day), which is why I ended it quickly, but I guess I wanted to be something to him, or for him? And because I felt something for him, being wanted by him felt good (que the self worth!) I don't know...I'm not trying to justify what I did, and I don't want to...I KNOW it was wrong, and I have to live with that...I guess I'm just trying to bring a different perspective to the table. Not all of us are whores and sluts...sometimes we're just a girl who made a mistake.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just don't keep making the same one. Learn.
I'll not deny affairs happen, and sometimes for a seemingly good and valid reason. But come on - "He is unhappy?" Oh, I feel sad today, someone come screw my brains out and make me feel better (queue to the left please). It is the oldest and most pathetic excuse in the playbook. If he is that damned unhappy, let him get a divorce first.
Sex is available pretty much everywhere. That doesn't mean it is always right. Getting your own pleasure while hurting someone else is, frankly, a thing that only a total tool would do.
Absolutely I've learned from it...I'm not proud of it, obviously, as its something that is COMPLETELY out of charachter for me. Most times I can't even believe that I did that to someone else. Now, his state of "unhappiness" was on a more emotional level than it was physical. I know it doesn't make this right, and absolutely, he should have the balls to tell his wife he wants out (which most days he does, or did, I don't see him anymore, but it gets complicated, of course!). So in no way was it "pity sex" on my part. I guess he was missing something that he found in our then friendship, and it led to physical attraction (hence the sex). And am I a tool? Of course I am!! I don't deny that. I made a mistake. A bad one. HUGE!! I never meant to intentionally hurt anyone. I would never want to do that to anyone ever. Which is why it's something that will probably be one the biggest regrets of my life.
Did you had a boyfriend the same time? Who was care about..look after you.. and the married guy just used you and you end up no boyfriend and you hurt everyone??
No. You'were still a slut who knew better and helped to defile another woman's relationship. Stop kidding yourself.
You "other women," don't kid yourselves. You knew it was wrong when you did it. Of COURSE you are to blame just as much as he is and certainly not any less. This "if not me, he would have done it with someone else" is your pathetic "out" to make yourself feel better and your life somewhat livable after what you've done. Sure, many men are pigs but don't think for a minute that other women" aren't tramps.Women are cutthroat nasty carping bitches to each other. This is a natural fact. YET. Since the beginning of time, women have had to be there for each other because men have a tendency to run out on us, our kids, our health, our "inconveniences." When you fk another woman's man, you break the sisterhood and no woman will ever trust you again. You are poison, a snake, from then on and rightfully so. To the poster above who thinks she's not a homewrecker for having sex with another women's man...the hell you aren't. You always will be. Live with that.
As a man, I don't understand the need for any other man to cheat if he is happy with his relationship. If you're not happy, then be honest to your woman and let her know. don't go the cowardly way and cheat.
Spot on. That is what a real man does.
Ok, has GuySpeak hired a new Mystery Man in the past 10 months or so?
*Goes back into the archives*
On March 18, 2010, MM told a woman who was interested in a married man to go for it.
"By the way, should things work out with you guys be prepared for the inevitable cries of 'home wrecker!' Ignore this. Life is too short."
Unless the first answer was written sarcastically slash in a tongue-in-cheek manner, this CANNOT be the same guy.
(I've also started noticing a heck of a lot of distinctly British words and phrases in MM's answers that weren't present a year ago. Maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention before, but still.)
Yeah, in the nicest possible way to MM, I used to absolutely hate his answers, all of them, and now I'm reading them and thinking that there's a decent guy on the other end of it all. Hopefully it was a character bit and now it's gotten old, so the real MM is coming out. Or they've replaced him. *shrug* They've been doing that a lot lately. And that's the thing about a mystery.
It's mysterious.
For Gods sake...why u all are blaming a woman. THE MAN is to blame. AND his stupid wife, it's she who doesn't have self respect. I realy don't think she has brain at all, if she merried a man even knowing that he was a cheater.....Well no wonder that hes cheating on her,brrr And man cheats always no matter what and how says what.
The wife is not to blame. She is just in love with a total moron. Both the pathetic loser husband and disgusting girlfriend is to blame. The wife is loyal. She stood by her vows and when he cheated, she forgave him and wanted to make the relationship work. The wife actually does have admirable qualities because she can choose to forgive and stay or not forgive and divorce. She is the innocent party. I feel for the wife though because his behavior may bring her a disease of some sorts. The husband disgusts me also the girlfriend. To the girlfriend: He does not like you, he does not care anything about you. He just wanted to screw you and he had to find someone just as pathetic and lowdown to go along with this mess. Solution: Leave his nasty behind alone, get some self-esteem and confidence, learn to be a true friend, find a single-unavailable man and date him. Move on with your life.
Even though I am way behind on this topic I'd like to toss my two cents into this one. I am a man coming from the 'cheated on' perspective. Maybe this illustrates some difference between men and women, but my wife cheated on me with another man, I stuck it out and tried to make things work. Eventually things fell apart and she left with the guy. Do I blame the guy? Not in the least. I entirely blame her for doing what she did.
Now, I am not one of those weak assholes who lets himself be run over. I was the one who ended our relationship in the end, and I make no excuses for the guy like 'He was just trying to get laid" but he just cared about her. You can't blame the second partner for sticking around, sure, they could have an epiphany and leave on moral grounds but in the end I think the guy just found someone he really connected with. Was I pissed at the guy at the time, hell yes I was, but he was following his heart and knew that my marriage was already dead, and if I am being honest, I knew it to.
As for the wife in this situation. She married a guy who already cheated on her before marriage. Just as it was my fault for trying to be nice about my wife cheating on me, this lady is just a dunce in my mind. I would never have married my wife if she cheated on me multiple times as a dating couple, I would have to be a complete idiot to have done so. So, in my mind, it is the married couples fault. The guy is being a cheating piece of garbage who obviously cares nothing for women as a whole, and the wife is being a complete doormat who is being extremely weak and, most likely, self serving to keep up with her current standard of living. Sort of like a mafia wife who enjoys all the diamonds but ignores how her husband could afford them.
So that's my two cents.
You're doing nothing wrong, but you're not doing anything that you should be proud of. And all you are to him is a vagina, in all probability. He made a commitment to his wife, you didn't, but still. What gives trick?!
The other woman here is hanging out with someone unworthy of her time - he has nothing to offer her except for what has already been promised to his wife. Why is SHE sticking around...
He is the wife's problem.
This man is no prize. Life's too short - both women should move onward.
Did you had a boyfriend the same time? And you cheated on him with a married man? So you screwed your life totali and others as well?
Did you had a boyfriend the same time? Who was care about..look after you.. and the married guy just used you and you end up no boyfriend and you hurt everyone??