Well if you're not happy in your current relationship, how could the grass be any less green in a new one? While I understand the premise of your question, it seems slightly short-sighted. What you're speaking of is really the evil you know versus the evil you don't. We're talking Bush v. Cheney here.
Happiness is a major tenet of any relationship and all relationships should involve some pursuit thereof. All persons in the relationship should be happy to be there. If you're not happy at all, then it is time to leave.That makes the whole grass is greener question moot because if you remove the thing that isn't making you happy, be default you'll be happier even without anybody else. Sure you'll be lonely and have to play speed racer with yourself for a little while but the fact is, you're keeping yourself in a relationship you don't want because you're not sure if there's anybody out there better for you. Fact is, it IS better to be happy and alone than miserable and coupled up.
My suggestion to you is to quit worrying about greener pastures and worry about the tattered farm you're plowing right now. Each relationship presents a new set of problems and differences that might start off cute and quirky but end up irritating and annoying. The very same issues can develop in any relationship you have.
But the bottom line is that if you aren't happy and you know it, and you don't even remotely desire to clap your hands because said happiness isn't present...I say roll the dice, cut your losses, do a little dance, then bounce, rock, skate, and then roll (and in that order).
It was written.
I don't think it's so much that she is unhappy but things don't entirely click. I'm actually in the same boat.
My boyfriend makes me laugh, has the cutest quirks, cooks for me all the time, and is great in bed. I'm very happy with him. He'd be perfect except for one thing.
I love reading, and books are by far my favorite pass-time. But my boyfriend is very into video games and will spend nearly all his free time playing. Not a bad thing, but I'd like to be able to at least talk to him about something I love and have him understand and connect with me on that. And while I'd never stray, I do find myself attracted to other guys who similarly love books.
I think what the asker is saying is that she enjoys being in the relationship, but wonders if someone more compatible is out there, but is scared the next relationship won't be as nice or comfortable as this one is.
im in this boat as well
me and my boyfriend are so different, yet we both love eachother very much, but its getting worse and worse..he just wants to ignore it and say but i love you so much, but sometimes its not enough, i really dont know what to do at this point..hes very serious and i llove to laugh, im a hairdresser, and soo many guys make me laugh and im having thoughts i shouldnt..i would never stray either, but its really making me think now
is love enough?
ughh
Lua, your relationship sounds exactly like mine.
And probably exactly like most functioning relationships.
Don't just up and leave because you're a bit unhappy and curious about what else could be out there. I'll give you a hint - it's pretty much the same thing. At least try to figure out what you think is wrong with the relationship instead of thinking about what else is out there. If there's a problem that can't be fixed then move on, but if nothing is obviously wrong in the relationship then it's you that has the problem, and that won't be fixed by running up a string of boyfriends because you don't "feel quite right."
Mr Perfect does not exist. It doesn't mean you can't still be happy.
i concur with almost everything you said. You need to try and make sure that it's not your own issues that is making this relationship 'just not quite right'. I am speaking from experience and i used to see faults in every relationship I was in because I was scared of being hurt among other things. Relationships take work, a lot of it but the rewards can be immense so dont be afraid that it means it's not right. I do believe though that Mr. Perfect does exist but is not as illusive as we are led to believe. I do understand that some relationships just dont work, but I think we can find that 'right' man if we open our minds and hearts and block out all those negativity...
Never settle.. And don't be afraid to be by yourself for a bit Because whether your 18 or 80, theres always another guy right around the corner .
it's kinda crappy to hang on to a guy you don't really want b/c you think you might not get better. you're wasting HIS time, not just your own. ;)
It's quite true. Why kill yourself for the sake of something that's feeling so wrong just to have someone? I was in a relationship where the first 6 months were great, but after that point it got worse and worse to the point he pointed a gun at me one drunk night. THAT said get out now but thing is that it shouldn't have taken the gun for me to know it. After letting go yeah I felt like crap and bored out of my mind, most of us do bad guys or not. Thing to do is cut it and take yourself out with friends and such and get YOU back on track, do things for YOUR sake no one elses. Yes talk with your current guy who knows he may feel the same and it can be a mutal point that both agree trying to stay in a romance isn't good then there's no BS his fault her fault going on.
Be prepared to move on with your life. Live it, enjoy it love it. Do things for YOU once you are getting on the track things can only become better. After dumping the guy that pointed a gun at me things have gotten much better over the past 3 years simply because I'm doing for ME. I've had relationships that sucked yes but each one has only been better than the last. My current man and I have known eachother for years kind of had a thing for eachother in high school never said a thing then, went our own ways, showed up in eachother lives randomly but were always dating someone then I go to the store and next thing I know we've been together almost 7 months. So keep trying and always stay on track for you everything else that's good will follow of it's own karma accord.