Well, you are in a bit of a pickle, aren't you, and it is at least partially your own fault.
The problem with a history like that is it eventually becomes self fulfilling. A couple of flat-lined relationships, which can happen to anyone, and you start to expect your relationships to wither and die, hurting you. So the next couple do, proving you right. You are making that happen. Sure, you don't mean to, you don't want to, but you still do it.
You start to tense up, and distance yourself, trying to protect your bruised heart from yet another beating. The poor guy gets confused - "Why is she pulling away? She isn't interested any more." and he starts to pull away too. You see that - yep, your fears are confirmed. He isn't interested.
See why you are partially responsible now?
Come on girl. You know the answer to your question already. It is called trust.
Dig out your plasma cutter and start hacking some of that defensive armor away. It is just weighing you down and blocking your joy in life. Yes, you open up the chance to be badly hurt. Risking some potential hurt is still better than being alone.
Trust him. He sounds like a good man. But more importantly, trust yourself. Permit yourself to be happy.
I love this answer Mystery Man.. Same is true for most insecurities in relationships.... Why do people always go after my money? Why do people always just want sex? Because you assume they do... So they do.
I love this answer Mystery Man.. Same is true for most insecurities in relationships.... Why do people always go after my money? Why do people always just want sex? Because you assume they do... So they do.
Ugh I'm having this problem now.. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him .. I want to take it slow.. Too scared its going to turn from sugar to shit in a heartbeat. But I totally agree, this attitude is only self fulfilling ..
I think a lot of people end up feeling insecure and have difficulty believing others in relationship because we've been mislead before. If you don't want to go out with someone, then just tell them. Don't waste their time with false hope. The sooner you let them know, the sooner you both can get on with your lives.
I'm kind of going through the same thing, but nobody would answer my question! Well, okay, I must admit that this question was definitely worded better than mine was. Thanks for the advice anyhow.
Yeah, there were 3 or 4 questions along similar lines - just picked the most recent one.
Ouch! that hurt but I agree, as Kahlil Gibran said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
He is one of my favorite poets!
Thank you for reminding me to get my copy of The Prophet, and Sand and Foam, out again.
You're very welcome..
He's also my favorite. Especially The Prophet, the answers of all How To in Life, well kinda...
Happy reading