He thinks he's being smooth. He's trying be James Bond, or Don Draper from Mad Men. But he's actually being supremely cheesy.
You see that move in every bad movie. The lady gets a mysterious drink, and the bartender says, "The gentleman over there sent this over." Cut to the guy, dressed in black probably, raising his glass with a smirk at a table across the room. Also, I love how the bartender or waiter in the movie always sort of smiles slyly at the drink recipient, as if to say, "You're in for some hot romance tonight!" Like a bartender cares at all beyond getting their tip from the drink.
Why not walk over to you, introduce himself and then offer to buy you that drink? What if what he sent over isn't your drink? Strike one. Why not come over and strike up a conversation, then ask you what you're drinking? That seems far smoother than assuming you're going to be blown away by his grand, yet horribly cliched gesture.
Plus, I doubt most women these days would accept a strange drink that they didn't see the bartender pour. Too many creepers out there.
As for his intentions, he wants to flirt with you and look like Mr. Awesome. He's trying to say, "I'm a take charge kind of guy who doesn't wait to get to know someone and discover their taste in alcoholic beverages. I'll send this drink over, and she'll come running. I don't even need to get up off this bar stool."
If you think he's cute, chalk up his move to trying to look like a big shot and go talk to him. (But maybe suggest he buy you a drink you actually want.) If not, send it back. He's going to need some liquid comfort to get him through the rejection.
You see that move in every bad movie. The lady gets a mysterious drink, and the bartender says, "The gentleman over there sent this over." Cut to the guy, dressed in black probably, raising his glass with a smirk at a table across the room. Also, I love how the bartender or waiter in the movie always sort of smiles slyly at the drink recipient, as if to say, "You're in for some hot romance tonight!" Like a bartender cares at all beyond getting their tip from the drink.
Why not walk over to you, introduce himself and then offer to buy you that drink? What if what he sent over isn't your drink? Strike one. Why not come over and strike up a conversation, then ask you what you're drinking? That seems far smoother than assuming you're going to be blown away by his grand, yet horribly cliched gesture.
Plus, I doubt most women these days would accept a strange drink that they didn't see the bartender pour. Too many creepers out there.
As for his intentions, he wants to flirt with you and look like Mr. Awesome. He's trying to say, "I'm a take charge kind of guy who doesn't wait to get to know someone and discover their taste in alcoholic beverages. I'll send this drink over, and she'll come running. I don't even need to get up off this bar stool."
If you think he's cute, chalk up his move to trying to look like a big shot and go talk to him. (But maybe suggest he buy you a drink you actually want.) If not, send it back. He's going to need some liquid comfort to get him through the rejection.
As a woman I think it isn't so cheesy if a guy buys a woman a drink as long as he is not assuming that it means she'll now talk to him. Being sent a drink from someone seems, although not random necessarily, as least less presumptuous than a guy walking over and ordering a drink for the both of you.
Just my opinion though.
Yes, just walking over and ordering two drinks before saying hello is also presumptuous. But the old "send the drink over" trick is about as cheesy as asking her her sign, in my opinion.
hehehe, well it does sound cliched, and it is.... but, I don't know....
It's never happened to me before. I've always been asked "May I buy you a drink?" Which, by the time it is processed by my brain, sounds like "Do you think I am cute/interesting enough to someday date?" Generally that is a "no" (who actually meets guys in bars??) and so I say thanks but no thanks (I would feel obligated to talk to said person if I accepted.)
Although once this very cute (in a can I be your sister kind of way) but many inches shorter than me skinny guy (and I'm only 5'3"! imagine how short he was for me to be looking down!) asked me, and I actually let him since he was at a bachelor party and they were there just to have fun and so there was no pressure, and I doubt he was getting many dances...so we danced for awhile and talked a bit, but generally I say no.
What I like about the "The gentleman over there sent this over." drink is that it is 1) free, and 2) the guy didn't make the effort to ask, so I can drink it guilt free. So, I am more than fine with guys doing that, although they never do, because wow! free drink. However, they better not expect anything out of it other than a "thank you" :-)
Now, the OP didn't say the bartender gave her these drinks... so, if the guy buying the drink comes over with a drink and hands it to her, either he is incredibly naive, very drunk, or he plans on drugging her and taking her home. We live in a dangerous world, and my guy friends are plenty aware of the dangers of tainted beverages. I even had a guy friend get drugged when he drank his female friend's beverage at a frat party!
So, if a guy has his thinking cap on, either he will have the bartender mysteriously give you a drink directly, or he will come up and ask to buy you a drink, or, if he is more confident, he can say "I'd like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
(personally, I would like all guys trying to hit on me to exercise the "I'd like to buy a drink, what will it be?" line because it sounds more confident, and you can still say no if you want)
Yeah, why not just say, "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" The whole sending the drink over is a bad sign that indicates a certain level of douche-itude. A guy who sends a drink over is probably also a guy who wears too much Axe body spray and is rude to waiters.
Hahaha, love the "axe body spray" comment! so true
i would never trust a drink that was sent over. you never know who is creeping bars these days.
I had that exact cheesy scenario happen to me last week.. At a bar with my friend, the bartender gives us a drink, says it's from the guy sitting alone a few seats away. We look over to him, he raises his drink and waves...
And Nick is right, he looked like a douche. I guess my particular scenario is even worse since I'm 17, my friend is 18 (I live in Canada, so she's legal and I am in less than 3 months), and he was probably in his mid-to-late-thirties. Lame and kind of creepy.
But it came directly from the bartender, whom I know, so we just drank it and said thanks on our way out. Hey, free drink and no particular interaction needed. Worse things can happen.
You end up getting stuck talking to them for the night. I'd say no thank you unless you really wanted to meet the man.
I must say that Elizabeth handled her situation gracefully. Not many girls today handle themselves like that any more.
Guys should never buy a random girl a drink to start a conversation or as a pick-up tool. It is the worst idea ever and will get you nowhere. I have done it as well when I was young and naive but learned quickly that it is a sure way to get rejected. So to all guys out there: DO NOT BUT A GIRL DRINKS! It does not matter what your intentions are - getting laid, dating, talking, whatever.
Girls, if you have the opportunity to, please turn the drink down if you don't intend to take the guy home or at least want more. Taking the drink because it's free is a lowly thing to do.
An ex of mine used to hang out at the bar, get guys to buy her drinks and then bring the drink over to me. Can you believe the look on the guys face when he saw that happen? But it taught him a lesson: stop doing stupid shit like buying a hot girl drinks. She's used to that and doesn't care. You are a lot better off just insulting her. It has a much higher chance of success.
Seriously, why do guys bother to do this? Women are not attracted to men who buy them drinks/gifts/etc. In fact, it hurts your chances because women have no respect for supplicating men. I know women that go out just to get free drinks, and then they laugh about it amongst themselves later.
Approach the girl, make her laugh, demonstrate your value, show her how you're different from every other idiot who approaches her. BOOM, your in. Now keep it up. Hell, even ask HER to buy you a drink.
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