Lock yourself in a tower and throw away the key so that you will never again be tempted to look at another man?
I'm not sure what to tell you. This is reason #87 that I think long-distance relationships are almost always a bad idea. Your guy's not there to take you out, so what are you supposed to do, sit at home and rot? Go to a club but not dance? Don't talk to any other guy?
Long-distance relationships put everyone on hold. You're committed to each other, but you can't see each other. You're surrounded by other guys, but you can't do anything with them because you're attached to someone far away. It's the worst of both worlds, really. You get to enjoy romantic companionship in person, what, 3-4 times a year at most? I'm not just talking about sex, but seeing each other, touching each other, talking and laughing together--just being together. That's what makes a relationship, not e-mails and phone calls.
There's nothing wrong with you dancing with other guys. It's not like you made out with them (right?). Obviously, your boyfriend already feels insecure about your relationship, and that's a problem that can't be fixed when you two are separated. He's trying to control the situation from far away, and you're trying to let him. It won't work. Nothing you tell him is likely to erase his fears. You can make all the assurances you want, but he will still picture you with other guys. Meanwhile, you'll bend over backwards to avoid other men and not make him mad, but that's not much of a life for you.
You two need to come to some sort of agreement about what you can and can't do with other people. Neither of you should have to avoid the opposite sex just to prevent the other from flipping out. I think that couples who insist on long-distance dating should give each other a lot of leeway with the opposite sex, if not a completely open relationship that allows both of you to date around. Unfortunately, most people aren't that secure.
Decide what you think is fair and talk about it. But don't expect the relationship to get any easier as long as you are apart.
This was my question. I haven't seen my boyfriend in about 3 months now since we live so far apart. His main concern was that guys were touching me while dancing (i.e. during grinding). Of course, nothing more than dancing ever happens and I told him this, but he doesn't go clubbing so he has no idea how it works (that grinding really can be meaningless). Some of the people I've talked to do consider it cheating to grind with another guy, which is where my guilt stems from since I didn't really think of it that way.
While I was trying to put him at ease, I told him I wouldn't dance with guys when going out and would only dance with my friends, but most, if not all, of my friends are single, so what do I do now when they've found guys to dance with and I'm alone?
Most guys in long distance relationships are either (a) acting single or (b) finding a way to get closer to their girlfriend, either by him transferring, her transferring, moving in together, proposing, something - unless there is a definite "the long-distance thing ends for us when I get out of jail on December 3, 2011 at 1:30 p.m."sort of agreement.
So if he's not trying to move you closer, assume he's enjoying his nights out with the boys far more than you are your nights out, and dance away. Why the heck would you tell him about something like that anyway? Do you enjoy making him jealous?
Why do you assume I was trying to make him jealous? He heard from our mutual friends that we had gone clubbing and asked me himself whether I had also been dancing with guys there and I thought it'd be worse if I lied about it.