I don't know, but it tells us something about yours. You don't want to be a hypocrite? Keep at it, because you're not there yet.
He's 28, you're 26. HUGE difference there. Two whopping years. Like night and day -- that is, if the day is 6pm and the night is 8pm. In other words, not that different.
You're paying rent and saving for a home? Good for you. How do you know he isn't doing the same? You say you don't know his story. For all you know he could be paying the mortgage on the house and his parents are the ones living with him. Not likely, but you never know. Don't jump to conclusions.
Yes, when someone past college age still lives at home, it's usually a pink flag -- something that isn't a dealbreaker in itself, but a situation that should give you at least a little pause. But there also can be good reasons why someone older lives at home, especially in the current economy, and you can't assume the guy's a lazy sponge who lives rent-free in his parents' basement and spends his days surfing for porn, scratching his balls, drinking all his dad's Schlitz and playing Goldeneye on his old Nintendo 64. (He's THIS close to killing Baron Samedi and beating the hidden Temple level, and it's only taken him 15 years.)
This is out of left field, but it sounds to me like you're almost looking for a reason not to date the guy. Or maybe you've noticed other pink flags about him and this one is the clincher. I guess I'm having trouble understanding how you could even consider judging a guy when your situation is exactly the same.
If your gut is telling you not to date this guy for whatever reason(s), then don't date him. But if his living situation is the only thing that has you concerned, I think you owe it to the guy to find out his story before you draw any conclusions about his character.
He could very well turn out to be a deadbeat after all, but at least give him the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure.
Pot meet kettle--Yes. HA!
I know the question does appear really hypocritical. Ok...maybe there is more to the story, but the 259 character limit wouldn't allow me to include all of that!
Like you said in your response, maybe I'm looking for an excuse not to date the guy and this is the "clincher". He doesn't have a real job, he just floats around doing random part time gigs and he has been doing this for the last 5 years. He has had several opportunities to apply for other positions that he says he would enjoy, but he doesn't apply. He claims that he forgets or doesn't have the time. I've even been with him when friends of the family have said, "I called you about an opportunity, why didn't you follow up with me?" His response is always, "oh I forgot" or he shrugs it off and walks away.
I asked him once, "oh what do you want to do" or "what are you passionate about" and he said "yeah, I really don't know." That kind of threw me for a loop. I realize, that we all discover what we are passionate about at different times in our lives, so it doesn't bother me that much. I just wonder about his motivation and if any of this speaks to his motivation. I really like him and his spending time with him, but I wonder if this is something I should be concerned about. I apologize..I guess, it was easier to pose the question using his living situation.
"...lives rent-free in his parents' basement and spends his days surfing for porn, scratching his balls, drinking all his dad's Schlitz and playing Goldeneye on his old Nintendo 64..."
Sounds like me a bit...I'm 19, a girl, in college but not taking courses this summer, living at my house with my roomies off of my parents' money, no job (what? no one ever calls me back!), drinking my roommate's beer and playing random online games...man I need to get my shit together.
But anyway, back to the OP. After reading your explanation I can sort of see where this is going. There's this amazing old Japanese saying "Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is a nightmare." Sounds like to me this guy you're into is living a nightmare, he's just doing things without really considering what he wants to do, where he wants to go (this doesn't have to be a job in an office with him wearing a suit - just some sort of direction). I can understand how you're a bit apprehensive BUT I'd give it a shot. Try dating him, see where it goes - this doesn't mean you have to marry the guy, give him a shot - what will you lose? If anything, you might just have something to post up at myveryworstdate.com.
I know my parents would never have put up with me sponging off them for years. At 15, my mother told me to get off my ass and get a fucking job. At 16, she said the same, and added that I would be kicked out if I didn't. She was going to charge me rent, too, but I moved out before she had the chance. My point is, this guy's parents aren't doing any favors by letting him mooch off them. Life isn't like that. He's refusing to grow up and they're not making him do it. My suggestion is to let him go and find a grown-up.
(P.S. At least you're trying to do something with your life. That's not hypocritical, that's smart; especially in this economy.)
Take it from one who knows. This guy will never grow up or move from his parents' home. The parents created this lazy blob of an adult-child and they will never stop enabling him, which is WHY he will never have any motivation. I wasted years of my life on a man-child like this one. As far as I know, he's 48 now and lives with his parents, his 2nd wife, her child and her mother.