I’d say you’re pretty much up the creek, then. Really the problem now comes down to clean-up, on your end.
Look, you’re married. If you don’t want to be married anymore, that’s OK, but there are some obligations, legal and ethical, that you have. It’s not fair to your spouse to be expected to just put up with it while you’re out trying to wreck your ex’s marriage. If you were in that spot, would you put up with it?
So, you need to make a few decisions. Your ex is off the table; if he “realized he loves his wife”, that’s a pretty definitive no. Make a call; either patch up your marriage, or do the decent thing and walk away. Don’t cheat behind your spouse’s back; that’s cruel to everybody.