You'll have a harder time knocking the idea of "friends only" into their heads if you stay girly.
Me, I am not fond of the idea of deliberately and actively changing yourself to fit in with any crowd - male, female or mixed. Then again, I am an arrogant SOB, so factor that in when you read my reasoning!
If you just want to hang out with guys as friends, why on Earth would you want to present a false front? One of the most basic and fundamental things about friendship is you don't lie to them, don't BS them (much) and you accept your friends warts and all, as they accept you.
So don't change. Guys will accept you on your own terms, given time and bearing in mind my very first line. And what is wrong with taking time to get to know people? Relationships may come and go, but good friends are there for life.
Umm, there is an issue with Mystery Man's answer - you want to be accepted and treated like one of the boys, but at the same time be something quite different and unlike the "boys". As long as both of those are true, you will never be one of the boys.
There is a difference between being friends with the guys and being one of the guys. Mystery Man just told you how to be friends with the guys. If you want to be one of them, then you actually need to be more like them. I've yet to treat someone in a manner that is at odds with the personality they present. It will not occur to me that you are one of the "boys" if that is not what is presented.
My first two years at Uni - ALL of my friends were boys - including my best friends. They didn't treat me like "a guy" but they did openly discuss girls, sex and body parts in extreme detail and did tell me their deepest darkest secrets without censoring so in that case we were very close as friends. I am very girly (apparently) but I am also very laid back in a non judgemental kind of way so maybe thats why these friendships worked. I also am the only girl in a family of men - so I tend to understand them more than women. You don't need to change yourself just to be friends with somebody - similarly you can't force a friendship to work. In my last two years of University i grew away from most of my close male friendships and discovered awesome female friendships - how valuable these friendships were! I did not realise how much I was missing out on until I met these girls :)
What MM said, but for god's sake, don't blur the lines. The moment you add "with benefits" with these guys expect there to be jealousy and exclusion and a ton of weirdness.
Women who hang out ---exclusively---with guys are absolutely disgusting. LADIES, BE CLASSY. Mutual friendship is fine, but if you "want to be one of the guys" YOURE DISGUSTING. I wouldnt care if you were say, a guy stuck in a girls body or a lesbian, but if youre a straight women and you love hanging out only with guys...one word: HOE. WHen I see a group of guys and one girl, YEP I can tell they all have f*cked her.
BE CLASSY. Be a lady, hang with the ladies, and thats how you get a man who will respect you.
You said it girl!
Pardon me, but that's a total load of BS! First off, nowhere in her question she even asks about 'getting a guy'. Second, if you consider women who hang with guys disgusting, then you consider men disgusting. Sorry, no way around it. For that matter, she doesn't even actually say she exclusively wants to be around guys.
If she experiences this kind of bitterness and judgement from women around her, I understand now why she likes hanging with men...
Wow, that is just really stupid. It sounds to me like she wants to *avoid* that kind of relationship with guy friends. FRIEND being the most important word. Just because you can't hang out with guys without screwing all of them doesn't mean other girls can't.
You're an idiot. Girls like you are the reason many girls would rather hang out with guys, me included. And no, I do not have sex with them.
Also (couldn't help but comment again, sorry), 'mutual friendship is fine but..'? Friendship is always mutual, lady. I don't know in what kind of world you live in (obviously a very distorted one) but if it's not mutual, it's not friendship.
'Be a lady, hang with the ladies, and thats how you get a man who will respect you. ' Funny, because I choose my friends because I like who they are as people, not because they'll help me get a guy.
Reverse the situation. What about gay guys? Or lesbians? Should they exclusively hang out with people of the opposite sex? Obviously, since if not, they'll bang everybody, right? Those damn hoes!
Again, probably the most idiotic comment I've seen on here.
Ladies, ladies--stop feeding the troll haha
I don't completely agree with MM, but to realistically hang with guys, you're gonna have to have some common interests. And there aren't many guys into 'girly' stuff. The problem, is MM seems to imply its an either/or case; either you like all manly things, or you like all girly things. Not true. You can be quite girly, but still, say, love sports. I am assuming there are some stereotypical manly things you find interesting.
MM is right though, you need to be upfront - and you need to set boundaries with your guy friends. All decent men will respect your boundaries too, even be protective of your boundaries, as that's how we men are.
Im a straight, decently attractive 21 year old girl and most of my friends are guys. I never understood why but i just always got along better with guys than with girls. I had girl friends in college but all they did was gossip and get their nails done and do girly things which i just did not have an interest in doing. My guy friends were cool, we would chill and they were just way more fun to be around. I have hooked up with a couple of them, but definitely not all of them. They don't treat me like a guy because they realize i am not one, but they don't act any differently when I am around than when I am not. It is a good balance. Its fun to flirt with them sometimes too and they like that. They know I don't want to have sex with them but its a nice relationship to have close guy friends like that. Also, i can talk to them about my guy problems and they talk to me when they have girl issues. so it works. some girls just like hanging out with guys more. Its not weird or anything, and it doesn't mean they are slutty at all.
My best friend of years and years is a guy. We've managed to stay besties through the other dating people no one liked, my pregnancy, and all the bad parts of our twenties. Some stuff I've picked up:
If you're serious about being friends with a guy, be a friend. Yes, you may develop a friendship with their girlfriend. But at no point is it appropriate to gossip about your friends. If they do break up, no matter how much you liked her, you may never hear from her again.
Some of what you hear about inner-most guy secrets may surprise you. Don't judge. They're being honest with you, and do them the courtesy of hearing them out.
They may claim to be an awesome wingman, but probably aren't ;)
The surefire way to sacrifice a good friendship? Sleep with them. It could be fun for a night, but it almost never is worth years-long friendship.
My friends tend to be groups of guys with a few girls here and there. I don't hang with douchey guys (I don't give them the time of the day); my main group is fun-loving and laid back and jokey and kinda nerdy. However, that is just how I NATURALLY gravitate and I have found you can't "force" yourself to be one of the guys. I never put up a false front. I'm giggly and girly, but I have the same raw sense of humor and mindset as them, so it works. The guys may not become friends with you immediately, but once they get a sense of your personality, they'll completely accept you.
I'm Muslim- hell, I'm conservative about kissing, let alone sleeping around! Thankfully my main group has a few Muslim guys in it who truly act like brothers and it just works. Like I said, I'm pretty girly and I'll be the victim of the occasional joke about my gender, but somehow I truly think they think of me as Just a friend. Most have their own girls and I'll even mention guys I'm interested in. I've seen no jealousy from either side.
My friends tend to be groups of guys with a few girls here and there. I don't hang with douchey guys (I don't give them the time of the day); my main group is fun-loving and laid back and jokey and kinda nerdy. However, that is just how I NATURALLY gravitate and I have found you can't "force" yourself to be one of the guys. I never put up a false front. I'm giggly and girly, but I have the same raw sense of humor and mindset as them, so it works. The guys may not become friends with you immediately, but once they get a sense of your personality, they'll completely accept you.
I'm Muslim- hell, I'm conservative about kissing, let alone sleeping around! Thankfully my main group has a few Muslim guys in it who truly act like brothers and it just works. Like I said, I'm pretty girly and I'll be the victim of the occasional joke about my gender, but somehow I truly think they think of me as Just a friend. Most have their own girls and I'll even mention guys I'm interested in. I've seen no jealousy from either side.
First of all if you hang out with all guys that doesnt mean you hav sex with them i was on the bus today and was hangin out with three guys and i love hanging out wih them..... Im not a "HOE" at all im simply a thirteen yr old gurl that LOVES hanging out wit guy and fyi im still a virgin so tht was BS that also im not a tom boy :P
Most of my friends are guys and they are awesome! They dont get stressed about anything and they are super funny. I have girl friends to but they are always so serious. I think if you prefer joking around and having fun, definetly stick with the guys.