You do whatever you need to do to get through this. Tell him, don't tell him. It's your decision. If he's a good guy, he'll be supportive and pay for the abortion or help you pay for it, whatever you want to do. But you don't owe him anything here. He might want to know, but he should have no sway over your decision.
If telling him is going to stress you out or complicate matters, then don't. Ask yourself: Do you want him in your life? Do you have a support group in place to get you through this? Do you want to rely on a guy who is basically a stranger? These sort of situations rarely work like the movie Knocked Up. In fact, that situation almost never happens. You barely know each other. If there's a conversation, it should be, "I'm pregnant, and this is what I'm doing..." Hopefully the guy will be supportive and be there for you during the abortion should you need it. But it's hard to say since I--and you-- don't really know this guy. The last thing you need is for some jerk to freak out or vanish when you need him.
Right now, the important thing is for you to get through this. If you want him there, then let him know. If you feel like he should know, then tell him your plan. His response should be, "What can I do to help?" But the decision is all yours. Hit up Planned Parenthood. They're a great organization with many resources. Make sure you have a support system in place. Good luck, and be extra careful in the future.
If telling him is going to stress you out or complicate matters, then don't. Ask yourself: Do you want him in your life? Do you have a support group in place to get you through this? Do you want to rely on a guy who is basically a stranger? These sort of situations rarely work like the movie Knocked Up. In fact, that situation almost never happens. You barely know each other. If there's a conversation, it should be, "I'm pregnant, and this is what I'm doing..." Hopefully the guy will be supportive and be there for you during the abortion should you need it. But it's hard to say since I--and you-- don't really know this guy. The last thing you need is for some jerk to freak out or vanish when you need him.
Right now, the important thing is for you to get through this. If you want him there, then let him know. If you feel like he should know, then tell him your plan. His response should be, "What can I do to help?" But the decision is all yours. Hit up Planned Parenthood. They're a great organization with many resources. Make sure you have a support system in place. Good luck, and be extra careful in the future.
That must have been a hard decision for you to make. I don’t wish it on anyone.
I wish the best for you hun. And be careful about which Planned Parenthood you go to - I know some here in my town are absolutely horrific and treat everyone like dirt, while others are kind and helpful.
This might get deleted, and I understand if it does, but...
It makes me sad to see other men validating the notion that men should have absolutely no say in what happens to a life(yes, a zygote/embryo/fetus is a living organism) that they helped create. Or ANYTHING they helped create. If the woman wants to get an abortion, everyone gets angry with the father if he disagrees, but if the woman wants to keep it, shit hits the fan if the man doesn't support her. I understand that it's the woman's body and she should be responsible for what happens to it, but if we're putting sole responsibility on the woman, why should we expect the man to pay for the abortion? After all, it's completely her business what she does, right?
SimplyLaurel, I understand where you're coming from... at the least the entire situation surrounding rights in pregnancies and abortions is awkward. But the man doesn't have to pay nor is he expected to. If he is a good guy and is supportive of her decision then possibly he would help.
I was in a similar situation about 5 years ago. It wasn't a one night stand but we barely knew each other when I found out I was pregnant a month later... I called him and told him I was pregnant. He asked what I planned to do, saying either way he would support my decision. I knew I couldn't keep the baby, for a dozen reasons. He paid for most of it, he would have paid for all of it but I didn't ask him for the full amount...
It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life and I'm just thankful he supported me through it, emotionally and financially. It is a very grey area, and there is no easy answer to whether the father should have any rights while it is inside the woman's body or not. Personally I think it would be nice for men to be able to have a say but on the other hand this is my body and I will be damned before any man makes a decision about it for me!
All women should get abortion out of wedlock and all fathers should get DNA tests on their babies...'Nough said!
Nick, wow that is great advice. Must say all that makes sense 2 me!